I have been pretty firm with boundaries with my son. I'm just honestly not interested in talking to him. He wanted his ss card and birth certificate-- I have put him off every time in the past when he has asked for them because they aren't safe with him and the things he plans to do with them aren't safe. He will loose them. He should not have a driver's license. But in the big detaching plan I handed them over today. When he came to pick them up it's just like a like gust of hostility and shattered nerves crashed into and around my house. He is really not doing well. He got a prescription for benzos from a doctor a couple weeks ago- maybe that has to do with it... but then alonon would say my part isn't even to get involved with speculating about what's going on for him-- I can just stay on my own side of the street. My side is that I do not want much contact. He plans of returning to school full time in the fall. Back when he was attending therapy with me I told him I would pay for one class over the summer-- then the financial aid will cover full time in the fall. But I thought it was smarter to let him dip a toe into the water. I have serious doubts about whether he can even handle one class. I don't think he can. I'm going to mostly honor that promise to pay because I said I would do it. I am never committing to any other single thing for him ever again. (That might prove untrue... but I hope to be closer to that direction.) Turns out the class costs about twice as much as we thought it would-- and I can't afford it. He said he's going to figure out a way-- how much am I good for. I told him what I had been expecting to pay. So today when he storms in he says he's going to get a loan to pay for the rest, and that loan is a sure thing because it will be against the fin aid surplus money he will get in the fall. This makes no sense to me on every level. First, he should just wait until the fall instead of incurring debt, but before that-- he seems to have no real plan for how he is going to get this loan-- it's from student aid one moment (though he didn't apply for summer), and from "any bank" the next. I see no concrete steps or plan. But he did tell me that he needs my portion of the money because he needs to buy the book and a metro card and meals. He was raising his voice at me-- trying to get me to look on the computer and see that he is actually enrolled. He has no concept of when the money might be due.... I stuck with- I am willing to pay the school. He was cursing at me, demanding to know why I am so illogical. He want me to think about why he can't communicate with me-- it's not a rhetorical question.... he really wants to know..... His body movements are off. His pupils are huge. He showed me this letter he got from his psychiatrist that I feel judgmental about-- it says that he's being treated for anxiety and depression and his symptoms are going to mean that he can't always show up to class or turn in assignments. It says that he lacks organizational skills, and that he won't ask for help because he assumes others won't help him.... that it will result in him not following directions..... I would love for my son to be able to attend school- but I really don't understand this sort of accommodation-- that even in the context of the very low standards of community college, he isn't be able to meet basics.... and should somehow be enabled. I'm just trying to stay out, then further out, then even further out. I don't contact him, but he seems to call me almost every day. Earlier today he wanted to know if I had any friends who are lawyers because he has a class action suite against the agency in whose care he is..... As he was leaving he was talking me about how he has to go around starving and begin people to swipe him onto the subway-- that it's humiliating and like he's a bum and I could change all that so easily. I feel bad for him, and I realize he is sick, but I want him to leave me alone. I refused to buy him a sandwich when he was over today. He could have taken a power bar from my house, but he didn't want one. ...and really I don't want him coming to me for anything. He chooses not to work- ...or he's too sick to work? I'm sure he's too high to work..... I'm much better when he stays away. I now have a contract for a house that's an hour from where I currently live (same neighborhood son hangs out in). He knew I was looking, but I haven't even told him. I look forward to one day quietly mentioning that I live somewhere else now.