Gobsmacked....weirdness at bank


Well-Known Member
I'll try to be brief. Two part situation/problem.

Our banking stuff was hacked. Our bank made a huge error as someone called on the phone pretending to be us and requested changes which resulted in them (bad guys) getting ahold of all of our stuff...accounts, credit cards.
Sadly, I had just mailed out a bunch of checks. We also have many things on automatic bill pay. Our Difficult Child account is on that platform as well. As well as my husband's business acounts.
I do most of the bookkeeping and banking.
We caught it quickly, so on the positive side, nothing seems to have been stolen. We don't know if they were going to make checks to use, or if they were looking for where we do business....they already have lots of our personal info and now they have more.
Our accounts were shut down. This caused a huge mess. Many bounced checks. Many fines.

Our representative at the bank has always been nicer to me than my husband. Interestingly, I don't think it is a flirtatious thing. She is a mild mannered, pleasant woman.

I did lose my temper at the bank recently when the manager acted like this mess was no big deal.

BUT, I don't think that is the main problem...with reference to my main problem and question. Especailly since the problem with the bank rep started before the identity fraud situation.

The representative at the bank who handles mostly smaller items re: personal checking etc., always encourages us to call if we have any questions. However, she will rarely, if ever call ME back. Perhaps over the last few years, she has called me back once.

However, if my husband calls, she either picks up the phone right then and there or calls back in a timely manner.

When the incident with the fraud occurred, I realized there was an issue, called her, left a message that I strongly suspected fraud and to call me asap, she NEVER called me back.

We had to replace all our accounts....new checks and and some credit/debit card/s. The credit card came, but not the debit card.

I called to inquire and she did not call me back. I emailied her and she did not call me back. My husband called and she immediatley picked up the phone and he asked her about the debit card and she explained the situation.

She is of a different cultural background and he was wondering if my direct way of speaking or her concern that I'm mad about the bank mess up might make her hesitate to speak with me. We both were wondering if culturally or just simply personally it is uncomfortable for her to cope with conflict.
Don't think it really matters all that much what is the situation...just curious, I suppose.

As near as I can figure it, she was barely returning my phone calls prior to this incident and now that there is much conflict between us and the bank, she seems to have made the personal decision to NOT return any of MY phone calls.

So, when my husband called re the debit card and she answered immediately he said "do you have call waiting?" She faintly said "yes." He then said that it was important for her to answer not only his calls, but those of his wife.
She then said that she is often with another customer or away from her phone and she can't answer all the calls that come in all the time. NOTE: She often answers HIS calls immediately.


We are in the middle of like three mini crisis over here and are big time overwhelmed, so I can not cope with this at the moment.

At some point when things calm down, we are taking our money out of this bank. Wish I could do it immediately...believe me, if I could, I WOULD!

1. Anybody have any advise re: identity theft? We have passworded all our accounts and we have both contacted transunion and put that new credit card freeze thing in place for the next three months...but we both plan on doing it every three months for a very long time.
2. Anybody have any thoughts on how you would handle this situation with the woman from the bank?

Thank you.


Well-Known Member
Not sure about situation one, but with situation two simply report her to the bank manager. She is failing in her duties, pure and simple. I work at a prison and occasionally have to deal with irate family members. I learn to adapt or I seek employment elsewhere. She works at a bank where she will occasionally deal with irate customers. She must either adapt or seek employment elsewhere. I seriously doubt that you are the only person who has this issue with her so let them know so they can fix the issue. Whether that be by her receiving additional training or being let go is entirely up to her and her boss.


Well-Known Member
I agree with Jabber, Nomad.

If this person is unable to work with both (all) genders, cultures, races, etc., she should not work there. This is not professional. It is rude and you should not have to deal with it, period.

To look for an explanation, a rationale, a cause is to find a way to excuse what is inexcusable.

That said, I am an identity theft victim. For maybe 4 or 5 years. There is a 7 year flag you can get. You will need a police report.

Despite this, it happens recurrently. They sell and resell my data. They have everything on me. They have wiped out a bank account via paypal. I no longer have a paypal account.

What they do is they add their own address and apply for new credit. Despite my fraud reports, it keeps happening. I have not so far gotten that credit monitoring service. I am unsure why. I guess I feel that that is another type of abuse. And I resent having to pay for people TO NOT behave criminally towards me.

I have gotten to the point where I fear doing any business online. Except how can I not? And now I can't stop it because the cat is out of the bag. (I love cats. Sorry cats.)

I have a wonderful bank now. I looked online to find the most solvent banks that are in my area and I found it that way. They all know me by name and they know about some of my life. They are like friends. They are friends. It is a community bank that is only in my area. I feel that they value my business and they care about me. That is what I would strive for.

Not this disrespect. She is out of line. Very, very much so, I think.

We should never have to ask why we have been abused. Never.

But the thing is, like you say, there are several issues rolled up into one. The identity theft is to a large extent out of your control now.( I am going to pay for the credit monitoring service. Reading your post, made me decide.) And I would do the 7 year alert. I did. But it seems like banks so much WANT to extend credit they override what should alert them. I am not sure why. It must be that they see this fraud as a cost of doing business. But they expose us to this calculated risk too. It is wrong.
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Tanya M

Living with an attitude of gratitude
Staff member
1. Anybody have any advise re: identity theft? We have passworded all our accounts and we have both contacted transunion and put that new credit card freeze thing in place for the next three months...but we both plan on doing it every three months for a very long time.
2. Anybody have any thoughts on how you would handle this situation with the woman from the bank?

Thank you.

Hi Nomad, Glad you put a freeze on the reporting agencies. I would recommend a permanent freeze. I put a permanent freeze on all three reporting agencies for both my husband and myself. If you ever need to get a loan you find out which one they will be checking. Let them know you will lift the freeze which is just a few days and that they have that time to check. There is a small fee to do this but it's worth it. Much better than someone gaining access. This is one of the safest things you can do.
As for your passwords, make sure they are strong. Don't use a common name and always include numbers and a special character. Make them at least 8 characters long.

As for the bank, I would find a new one. I know it's a pain but I would not put up with that woman.

Good luck!!