Grieving the simple things

[GoingNorth]

I know it's not the same as a child, but I get flashes of this every time I see an elderly couple walking hand in hand.

 

[BusynMember]

Lil, I believe those who have always been very loved become "entitled" to that love because to them that is the way family is. I would love to sit over coffee with your son, because I do see the good in him from your posts, and tell him about my parents and about how lucky he is to have so much family love. He doesnt know, thankfully, that it can be another way. It has not been his experience.

If he dared to moan about bio. Dad, id tell him he has a great REAL dad in Jabber and that I used to daydream that I was adopted and that one day my real, loving parents would find me.

Lil his story isnt over. You may yet get some great memories. I hope you do. You deserve it.

 

[Lil]

I would love to sit over coffee with your son, because I do see the good in him from your posts, and tell him about my parents and about how lucky he is to have so much family love. He doesnt know, thankfully, that it can be another way. It has not been his experience.

I appreciate all you say SWOT, I really do. But you know, it wouldn't do a thing to tell him how much worse it could be and how good he had it, because he has so many friends who have not had good family. Take J, for instance. His mom and dad broke up when he was young. His two siblings lived with dad, though mom had custody. Mom never worked, but mooched off friends and finally decided to leave him in our town while she went off to another state to take up with her internet boyfriend. He lived with us. Literally the ONLY time I met his mom was the day she came to our house to get a power of attorney to sign to let us take care of him. Great parent, huh? He was 16. When we took him to his dad, that lasted just a few months. He left and came back here, where he was with a grandma (or someone he always called grandma - might be a stepmom of his dad???) who was always drunk and finally called the police and accused him of stealing her pills (Guilty? No idea.) Then he was homeless for quite a while, couch-surfing. Finally he went to his mom's in the other state, until she kicked him out. Now he's back here with another relative.

He's always had friends who were from broken homes, (I may have divorced his biodad, but Jabber's the only dad he remembers), or dirt poor - like ghetto poor - who lived in shacks but bought new computers and game consoles, etc., instead of seeing to their kids needs, or who's families just didn't care about them at all. Most of them he envied. "They get to do whatever they want. They don't have curfews. Their parents don't GPS them to see where they are. Etc. etc."

I feel like I'm hijacking Carri's post. I'll stop now.

 

[BusynMember]

I wont hijack after this either.

Lil...I like your son and would still like that cup of coffee, even if it did no good. I do believe in time he will improve...and that one day he will understand how lucky he is. He probably already knows, but just won't say it because he's angry.
Im hoping it happens soon.

 

[Carri]

Lil, you can high jack my post any time! [emoji4] my girlfriends and I are all over the place when we talk and somehow we manage to keep track of where we left off!