He is a duck!


Well-Known Member
He's been walking and talking like a duck for a few weeks now---husband found him smoking a joint on the front porch today---It's official--he is a duck. husband took his keys, told him to find somewhere else to live, but...he usually relents. I do not want him here. I called and told him if husband lets him back in, I will move out. I have threatened before, but this time I have the money in the bank ready. I will not live in the chaos of his life anymore. He can live with the idiots who are dumb enough to supply an unemployed high school drop out with with drugs. He can steal from them when he gets desperate enough. They can buy his cigarettes and food and run him all over town. I hate addiction---and no I don't need a lecture on how marjiuana is not addictiive---I know what the experts say----but they have never lived with a pothead!!!!!


Active Member
I'm sorry. Maybe he can move in with my son, the pot-smoker and his equally loser friends including a Mom who is "so cool" that she smokes with the kids!


Active Member
Oh Katmom....I'm so sorry. There are so many of us that have potheads. The mountains that we run into when trying to help them are insurmountable! I remember trying to get difficult child 1 help. Insurance wouldn't pay for pot addiction and treatment centers wouldn't take him. told me....it's a physical addiction but not enough to warrant a facility. psychiatrist told me pot changes the way they think and react to their surroundings.

I so understand your line in the sand. Hope you and husband can come to an agreement.

{{{sunny hugs}}}


New Member
<span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #663366"> addictive or not would not be the issue for me. his pothead lifestyle is illegal & is preventing him from becoming a productive adult. that's the end of the story.

it sounds like you have a plan if husband does not follow through with-his eviction from your home. that is a very smart thing. if/when you start looking around for alternative lodging look for either month to month or a six month lease because this may wake up husband very quickly.

i hope he stays the course this time.

</span> </span> </span>


Well-Known Member
It is so difficult deciding when to draw the line and where to draw the line. You have every right to make the choice for your
life. Sure hope husband stands firmly at your side. Sending hugs
your way. DDD


New Member
A duck is a duck is a duck.

I don't care what the experts say, I don't care what the treatment centers say

Pot leads to other drugs, pot will keep him from caring about what he is doing to ruin his life, pot will also keep him at the level of maturity that he started smoking it at.

We do not live in the same world as the sixties, a joint is laced today with other drugs.

I say take your stand and show him and husband enough is enough.

Good luck


New Member
Geeze Katmom, No argument here, Marijuana is addictive and is the gateway to harsher drugs in many cases. Hes got some nerve doing it right there on your porch. See theres proof that marijuana does change their thinking to the point that he was incapable of not choosing to literally smoke his joint right under your nose. The nerve of our difficult children is just incredible. I hope that you and your husband stay on the same page with this one, It will be sad for you to have to escape this all by leaving but I can't say that I blame you under the circumstances.


Well-Known Member
Staff member
On your front porch??? It couldn't get much more in your face than that.

I hope that your husband stands his ground for a change. I agree, though, that you leaving if he doesn't will be a big wakeup call for him.

I'm so sorry that it has come to this again. I was hoping he had made a profound change in his life.



Just a note, Sunny, and for any of you who decide to seek out a physician's help for under-age children's marijuana addiction, at least in CA, once copies of our son's medical records were forwarded to them, indicating the fact that he used pot to self-medicate, Blue Cross (BX in case Blue Cross is too identifyable...) refused to continue covering our son on our self-paid medical insurance policy for a period of five years.


Well-Known Member
I have to say that BC covered a portion of both private S.A. placements for easy child/difficult child and most of the costs of his brain surgery
and second rehab (brain) hospital. They have known he has addictions problems for six years.

Gee, is it possible that something in Florida is better than elsewhere for once...lol. DDD


Active Member
Katmom, first of all, I'm so sorry. Yes, as I've always said, if you even have a suspicion that they are using, they are. After living through it, we all have our mommy instincts in full throttle.

As for pot not being addictive, I vehemently disagree with any counselor, insurance agent or whoever argues it. With my son being Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), obviously it make the obsessiveness more severe, but my son was totally addicted to pot - whether it be physical or mental addiction. I definitely agree with you regarding the pot addiction.

Our insurance company (also BC), did pay for the short-term inpatient rehabs (the 5 days or whatever), but as soon as the word "residential" is placed in the facility's language, they would not pay. They also denied an extension on my son's agreed upon 21 day stay at the adolescent substance abuse hospital. They released him after only 12 days because the insurance company wouldn't agree to the extension of time needed, and that very night is when he was arrested for the felony that went on his adult record. He should have never even been out on the streets, as he wasn't ready to be released, and the substance abuse hospital knew it, since they had set up his program to be 21 days, not 12.

Ughhhh. I hate substance abuse.

Once you've drawn your line in the sand, you know what you need to do. It's not easy, but it's hard living in the chaos too. So, stand your ground.

Sending you hugs. I know this is hard.


Well-Known Member
Thanks ladies. So far, husband is standing his ground. We suspect that difficult child broke into father in law's house last night and stole some money and looked for drugs. We have no proof, but like I said a duck is a duck. husband told him when he is ready to change, we will help him seek help, until then, he is not welcomed in our home. husband is heartbroken. This is his bio-son, although he claims pcson as his and has raised him since he was five. This is the last of the "family" line. There will be no more family name if difficult child doesn't have children. We are coping. I am sad, not mad anymore. It's extremely difficult to get to the point where you just give up and let the streets have 'em. We have gone every other route imaginable in the past 5 years. There comes a point where your own sanity has to come first. Please pray for us to be strong and that difficult child hits bottom before he ends up either dead or in jail...because we all know that is where he is headed.


New Member
Glad to hear husband is sticking to not enabling and detatching. This will help him to hit bottom much sooner. Hopefully this will happen soon and he can get the help he needs.


New Member
Katmom, I am so very sorry for you pain and dashed hopes once again. I agree with your stand on pot being addictive especially to indivituals with other mental health issues. I am glad you were able to stand strong at the line and hope that you will not be forced to leave. I do understand your position and have come very close to leaving also. (((HUGS))) -RM