SuZir
Well-Known Member
I'm currently in emotional rollercoaster and anger is one of the big feelings going on. Recently my husband told me something that got me seething again. He was afraid to tell me, because he knew how angry it would make me and he was right. I'm rather proud of myself not staking outside of certain house with very dull knife. That is how angry I am. Thing is that I'm not angry with anyone in my life (well not this angry) and people around me certainly don't deserve to have brunt of my anger. After deciding not to go to stake out with dull knife there really isn't much of anything I could do to those whom I'm angry with. No revenge, no justice, nothing. I have to find ways to deal with this anger on my own, preferably without being PITA to people around me. And while people I'm angry with have no part in my life currently, living at the same area will mean we will meet again sooner or later and I have to prepare myself to deal with that too.
Last night was awful. I had such a horrible, violent and vivid dreams about most brutal revenge possible that I woke several times and felt sick. But even getting up, having a cup of herbal tea and reading some pleasant book or watching silly tv-show didn't help (tried both.) When I got back to sleep, those dreams were back. At the morning I was feeling miserable and like I hadn't slept a second. Nights have been difficult for sometime but this was worst ever. Few more like this and I don't know if I can even go to work next day.
Last night was awful. I had such a horrible, violent and vivid dreams about most brutal revenge possible that I woke several times and felt sick. But even getting up, having a cup of herbal tea and reading some pleasant book or watching silly tv-show didn't help (tried both.) When I got back to sleep, those dreams were back. At the morning I was feeling miserable and like I hadn't slept a second. Nights have been difficult for sometime but this was worst ever. Few more like this and I don't know if I can even go to work next day.