I knew in my heart when my son came home from rehab it was only a matter of time before he relapsed if he hadn't already. Things have been adding up that weren't quite right. Last night he came home and said that Windshield of the car was cracked so we took him to work today and told him we would call the insurance company. I don't know if he realized it but I gave him the opportunity to empty the car because I told him it was possible people would be poking around the car today and he said he didn't have anything he needed to get out of the car. I couldn't help but opening the trunk of the car after I came home from dropping him off and inside was an alcohol bottle. Then I looked in the center console and there is a container of white odorless powder. My husband thinks that it is possibly the workout supplements that he has been taking me in my heart I don't think it is the workout supplement. In the past three weeks twice I have found parts of pens in the bathroom. I suspect the parts of pens were for snorting whatever the powder is. Feeling sick about how this is going to play out tonight. I suspect he will walk out. I am thinking about looking into the local intensive outpatient program that was brought up last time as an option and offering that to him or the possibility of going back to a different inpatient rehab but I don't know if he will be willing to do either. I can say that dealing with the insurance company was a nightmare last time. I think I have read that it is easier to get insurance to pay if they overdose I don't know if there is a way to get them pay if he hasn't overdosed and was willing to go. I am meeting my only friend who I have told what was going on in an hour. I debated canceling but I think I need real friend right now. I am thinking about if he walks out tonight he may overdose and die. This hurts so much. We didn't go back to the Midwest for Christmas to see our family this year because I had this deep feeling that we would come back and find him dead and I didn't think I could live with that.(morbid thought I know .) Even thinking outside of what immediately is happening I am dreading going to work Monday and having everyone talk about their wonderful Holidays and their questions about mine. Even if the other powder is the workout powder there is a problem even it is only alcohol. I recently found out that the my father who I have very little contact with has alcohol induced dementia. When he had apartment he thought aliens were shooting laser beams at him. My father is now homeless living in his car and there have been complaints against him because he is following teenage girls home in his car. Sigh yes I think my son inherited this addict gene.