Homeless again

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Shabby, Feb 8, 2017.

  1. Shabby

    Shabby New Member

    Today, I found out that my soon to be step daughter and her 2 young children are yet again homeless and living in a shelter. She had a fight with her sister, and had her thrown in jail. She doesn't work, cannot hold a job, has been evicted several times, and gotten her mother evicted several times. A few years ago, we let her stay with us. Chaos and drama were the only things that came out of that. As per our arrangement then, she needed to get and keep a job, and save money to get her own place. This latest about 1 1/2 months. As soon as her mother found a place, she let her move in. She quit her job and began her mooching cycle again. During this time she became pregnant with her son . In order to find a place to live she accused the babies father of abusing her and threatening to kill her. She moved into a shelter for battered women for a few months. The gist of it was, he Wasn't even abusing her. She lied to the police and battered womens shelter about the abuse to help her get funding for a place of her own. After she finally got a place through them, she managed to stay there for about a year and allow him (the so called abusive boyfriend) to live with her. He has an addiction to drugs, the police were called several times, And he ODedon heroin. All while the kids were there. Thankfully, he was given narcan, and survived. She was evicted this summer. She has a narcissistic personality disorder, and I believe she's a sociopath. She feels like she's entitled to everything. She got mad at us this past September for not allowing her to move in with us again. I'm at a loss of what to do. Her mother has reported her to Children Services Board (CSB), however, since there is no physical abuse, they are not doing anything. I fear for her children's well being. I think she's neglectful and the constant disruption to her children's lives is devastating. She has threatened her daughter to not say anything to her teachers, and of course the blame game is being played. According to her Everyone is mean to her and nobody will help her. The truth is, everyone has tried multiple times to help her. She doesn't want a hand up, she wants a hand out.☹️
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I am so very sorry. You can report the childrens situation to cps. This would be a second person reporting her. It could matter. They wont remove the kids (unless tbey are obviously neglected) but tbey will have her on their radar and could force her to see them sometimes and take parenting classes. If there are illegal drugs in the house beyond pot they probably will be removed. If they use around the kids, tell them. You have to try, right?

    I am sorry you have to watch this self destruction with two children involved. Tugs at the heart.
     
  3. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Hi Shabby, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I think you are wise to stand firm and not allow her to live with you again.

    It's so very common for our adult difficult children to blame everyone else for the chaos and mess that is their life. If you really feel the children are in jeopardy then all you can do is report her the child services. After enough calls I would think they would have to do something.

    Hang in there!!! It's never easy on our emotions when we have to deal with the chaos and drama of these difficult adult kids.

    ((HUGS))................
     
  4. Shabby

    Shabby New Member

    Thank youI finally called the Child neglect hotline. I gave them her name, and the children's names. I've reported her for neglect. Unfortunately, they need an address for her to be investigated SMH.... I get the process, I really do but I just want the babies to be safe. So until she has an address(she's bouncing around homeless shelters) there's not much they can do. I won't stop being a voice for her kids! I'm a victim of child abuse myself. I can't in good conscious keep quiet about it regardless of who gets mad!! Once again thank you, I really appreciate the words of encouragement ❤️
     
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  5. 92025

    92025 Member

    This may sound drastic but it can work very well to move someplace smaller so that there is literally NO ROOM for any mooching bums to move in.