Hi. I'm new to the forum, made my first post last week but can't remember which forum I put it in. Can people do a search to find their posts? I need to get this off my chest & from reading this board constantly this past week I know y'all will understand. It's hard when your surrounded by people that are not going through the same thing as you & have mostly easy child's. So here goes. I'm actually pasting / editing this from an email that I sent our juvenile program coordinator hopefully it will make sense to y'all. When Adam failed his second drug test I was at a loss. I told husband that I was tired, tired of feeling like I was doing all of the discipline, tired of feeling like I was battling him & Adam on this. I told him I was done, that Adam's discipline was solely on him from now on because apparently what I had been doing in the past was not working. husband wasn't too happy about that, he said that we were supposed to be on the same level on this, we have not been up to this point why start now? Probably was not the smartest thing for me to do but I was spent. Well, husband kept Adam on restriction for about a week, he let him off this past weekend. I didn't agree but I didn't say anything because I wanted to see how this panned out. Big mistake. Adam went outside on Friday & came home at his curfew which was 8pm. Saturday Kayla had opening day for softball & had 3 games that day, 2 in the morning 1 at 8pm. husband did not make Adam go, he was out 'playing' with his friends. When we were at Kayla's night game we waited on Adam to call us to tell us he was at home, he did not. At around 8:30 we started getting nervous & started calling his friends that we had numbers for on our cell, no one had seen him since 1pm. We got home at 9:30 & he still wasn't here, I started freaking. I got on the phone & just went down the caller ID list calling anyone that might have seen him, husband drove around the neighborhood 4 or 5 times looking for him. At 11pm he still had not shown up, I was beside myself. We decided to go up to the local skate park & see if he was there before we called the police. I told husband that he was either hurt or stoned because as much trouble as Adam has given us over the years he has always been good about checking in with us & has never been over 10-15 minutes late on his curfew. We were driving up our road & see him walking toward the house. I knew immediately that he was high because instead of getting in on husband's side of the truck, which was the side he was on, he walked over to get in on my side. He got in the truck & I started in on him. "What are you on Adam? What have you been taking / smoking?" He denied that he was on anything. We got home & I made him stop in the kitchen & look at me, his eyes were bloodshot. I kept asking him what he was on & he kept denying he had done anything. He was not Adam, he was being very calm & kept apologizing to me. Adam does not apologize. "I'm not on nothing Mama, I'm sorry Mama". ???? I told him we would stand there all night if we had to but he was going to tell me the truth. We stood there going back & forth for about 5 minutes until he said he wanted to sit down. He started walking toward the table & right before he got to it he fell. Hard. I tried to grab his arm but couldn't hold on to him, he hit the ground. Of course I started yelling & husband came from ?? & picked him up. I'm not really sure where husband was, he might have been in the kitchen the whole time with us, I just don't remember. When I looked at Adam on the floor the look on his face is an image I will never get out of my head. His eyes had rolled back & he was just smiling. In the few seconds he was on the floor thoughts were running through my head; he's having a seizure, he's slipping into a coma, I didn't know. I thought he had OD'd on something or had a bad reaction, I was scared to death. I told husband to get him & put him in the car, we were going to the hospital. husband knew better than to argue with me because at this point I was crazy woman. So we took Adam to the ER. It took them a while to see him, he started coming down off of his high at around 2am. I told them what happened & they tested him for drugs, they said they tested for alcohol, illegal drugs & prescription drugs. The only thing that showed up was pot. I was a little shocked, given the way he was acting & the fall I just knew he had done something else besides pot. We left the ER at 5am, Adam was hungry. Tough! So he's on restriction again & according to husband (now) he does not see a time for him to get off. husband & I actually went to talk to the 2 boys' parents that Adam was with on Saturday (when we talked to them they lied & said they had not seen Adam) husband told them that their son's are not allowed down at our house & if Adam ever shows up there that they are to send him home or call the police. We STRONGLY suspect that Adam is getting the pot from one of the boys mom, I've got her address & tag number & will be giving that to the PO on Friday to see if there is anything that can be done. Right now husband is doing what he's supposed to do as head of the household, seeing Adam like he was Saturday night scared him quite a bit. I pray that he will stick to his guns. I am at a loss. Adam knows he has another drug test coming up & that he could go to juvenile, he apparently doesn't care. I cannot continue like this, worrying every time he walks out the door if he's going to be ok, if he's going to get into trouble, if he's going to be safe. I called our insurance yesterday & asked them for psychiatrists in our area, the closest one they came up with is about 50 miles from our house. We live about 15 miles from a big hospital, surely there has to be one closer. Any tips on finding one? I'm sorry this has turned into a book, I guess I just needed to get it out. Thank you again for your help.