Elsi
Well-Known Member
I'm back in contact with C - at least I was yesterday - and he is frustrated and discouraged. I have told him he cannot stay here, but I will help him with deposit and one month's rent someplace where he will be able to get to a job and sustain it on his own. I told him this is a one time offer - he has to sink or swim after this, and I will not be doing this again.
He says he is trying to find places to stay but they all do background checks. He has a 5-year old felony domestic violence conviction that involved a short prison stay. He says this locks him out of about any housing option he can find.
We did check into sober living options together, but they all seem to have waiting periods of several months. It's going to start getting very cold here in a couple of months. He can't be on the streets for months waiting for a sober living bed to become available, even if he's accepted. The re-entry programs for convicted felons all seem to be geared towards new releases, not someone who has been out for several years.
He's burned through all his couch surfing options. Having him here isn't viable and would be unfair to my partner, who didn't sign up for this. I don't really want to be a co-signer on a place for him, either.
But...I have no idea what to advise him to do next. Transitional housing and shelters are in short supply, and most programs seem to be geared towards women and families.
On the one hand, I know this is a self-created problem for him, and not my responsibility to solve. On the other hand, I know that some holes we get ourselves into are simply too deep to escape without some kind of hand up.
He seems to really want to get back on track here, and while I don't want to enable I can't seem to find it in my heart to abandon him entirely to the streets. He's in the catch 22 of can't keep a job because he doesn't have stable housing and can't get housing with his background and credit history.
What do people do, when social services seem to be so overburdened as to be useless? How do you solve this chicken-and-egg problem of stable housing and stable employment? How does someone who has fallen so far take the first steps towards getting back up on their feet?
He says he is trying to find places to stay but they all do background checks. He has a 5-year old felony domestic violence conviction that involved a short prison stay. He says this locks him out of about any housing option he can find.
We did check into sober living options together, but they all seem to have waiting periods of several months. It's going to start getting very cold here in a couple of months. He can't be on the streets for months waiting for a sober living bed to become available, even if he's accepted. The re-entry programs for convicted felons all seem to be geared towards new releases, not someone who has been out for several years.
He's burned through all his couch surfing options. Having him here isn't viable and would be unfair to my partner, who didn't sign up for this. I don't really want to be a co-signer on a place for him, either.
But...I have no idea what to advise him to do next. Transitional housing and shelters are in short supply, and most programs seem to be geared towards women and families.
On the one hand, I know this is a self-created problem for him, and not my responsibility to solve. On the other hand, I know that some holes we get ourselves into are simply too deep to escape without some kind of hand up.
He seems to really want to get back on track here, and while I don't want to enable I can't seem to find it in my heart to abandon him entirely to the streets. He's in the catch 22 of can't keep a job because he doesn't have stable housing and can't get housing with his background and credit history.
What do people do, when social services seem to be so overburdened as to be useless? How do you solve this chicken-and-egg problem of stable housing and stable employment? How does someone who has fallen so far take the first steps towards getting back up on their feet?