How to Spot the 9 Traits of Borderline Personality Disorder


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I know this is an aging thread (just like me), but with recent problems with grandson, this fits him to a T. I never would have thought of it, given his age, (12) but give his early trauma with abandonment and mis-treatment by his father, along with the genetic component (his father is the biggest black and white, catastrophic thinker, splitter, etc., on the planet). The CPS worker asked us if we had thought of it. The violence has been escalating alarmingly (husband had to go to the ER for stitches last week).

When we try to get the thing he's beating us with out of his hand or try and defend ourselves (this is mostly directed at my husband, never his sister and less often myself), we left a small red mark on his neck. He promptly reported us to the school as beating him. Well, they know the score but had to report it anyway and I'm glad they did. We now have a safety plan in place and are ramping up the help we need. He's 12, big and strong and when he blows, he's unstoppable. And it can be over, what to us, is the smallest little thing--please take a shower now, did you brush your teeth? etc. and he glares at us and says we can't touch him and he doesn't have to do a thing we say. In between the lid-flips and lightning strikes, he's mostly okay.

His therapeutic day class on a general ed middle school campus can't handle it anymore so they are looking at non-public placements. Yeah. It's come to that. He needs help and we aren't able to really give him the help he needs. So much has happened that I don't know where to start so haven't been on her much other than to read other poeple's stories and encourage as I'm able. Borderline Personality Disorder flat out sucks and getting the help the need is proving to be hugely problematic. All the drugs he's been on over the years haven't helped much of anything and this is probably why. We had the genetic testing done and have tried every column 1 category of medications there is. Not helping.



100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
I'm so sorry HMBgal

Sending hugs and prayers to get you through this tough time.


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Thanks, RN0441. I feel like I'm becoming an expert on the DSM manual. First we thought ADHD. Read and studied up. Then it was Explosive disorder, ODD, DMDD--allll the letters. And studied up on those. I have a pretty amazing library by now. Now I'm reading all the Stop Walking on Eggshells books and learning about Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Which is almost impossible to get, but supposed the the most effective treatment.


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Sorry to hear that things are escalating with your grandson.

On the other hand, it sounds like the school/authorities are taking this seriously and working to get him the help he needs.

I think his getting help at this young age, the better possibility will be for success, whatever his diagnosis turns out to be.

If you need to talk, PM me.



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For early trauma reactive attachment disorder maybe likely and sucks and sounds a lot like Borderline (BPD). I dont trust the DSM as they cant prove any of these disorders by testing in any diivinitive way. No science. Just lots of pain for those affected and family.
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I am sorry for your troubles. I had to place my son in an approved private school in 7th grade. It is not easy to deal with. My son never hurt us but destroyed property and was vicious verbally. I believe he did gain some control skills from the experience . I dont think he has been diagnosed with Borderline (BPD) but i haven't read latest report because of his age. He has shown control recently just praying it lasts. I hope you are able to find a plan that works.