Humour over Sadness

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by StillStanding, Sep 20, 2017.

  1. StillStanding

    StillStanding Active Member

    It's been a really tough couple of weeks. And, a sucky night.

    I'm trying not to cry again (but it's not really working.) And, I remembered someone made a joke on another thread that we should ask what's the craziest thing you've done trying to change or outsmart your kid.

    My son used to hang out at a known drug house owned by a drug dealer. I used to go there a lot and demand my son leave with me or I was calling the police for a wellness check. Once, I didn't even bother knocking, I just walked in and demanded to see my son. The drug dealer threatened me and I told him he didn't want to mess with me and I called him a little boy. He laughed and told my son he had to leave with me.

    Right now, I'm trying to figure out a way to open a bank account in my son's name without him knowing what bank it's at. I'm nuts!

    Any other crazy parents?
     
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  2. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Still I have had crazy beyond crazy moments and I am young in this game.

    My son came nine the other night high or MH issue upregulsting who knows. He wakes me from a dead sleep at 11:30 and is insisting we have been smoking pot. He demand we drug test. So there I am peeing in a cup half awake before I snap out of it and think what the hell am I doing this for??

    You my friend have some big cahunies to do that. Not sure I would be able to inlock my fear gripped hand off the steering wheel and get out of the car.
     
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  3. worried sick mother

    worried sick mother Active Member

    This wasn't to necessarily outsmart my son but it's the funniest thing I've done. I barged into my sons apartment and found some guy sleeping on the couch, I woke him up and told him off then there was a sandwich bag with something strange looking in it beside him and I grabbed it and accused him of it being drugs, he kept saying mam it's combo snacks and I said combo snacks my foot. I took the bag with me and he was saying please don't take my combos. My husband was waiting on me in the car and he said what's in that bag, I said I think it's drugs and he's says it looks like combos. Turns out it was combo snacks. Then of course my son is like my mom is crazy she took my friends combos.
     
  4. StillStanding

    StillStanding Active Member

    OMG! Those stories cracked me up. It's just what I needed.

    "Don't take my combo snacks!" LOL
     
  5. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    OH...where to start with the crazies...

    One, I got a texting app on my iPad, so no one would know who it was... I had hacked DCs phone and now had phone numbers of her user friends. I texted them, pretending to be an anonymous friend of my child. Warned them that crazy grandma was hunting for "A" and if she was with them they better get her out of their house.

    I kept deleting the app and getting new numbers... I harassed one dealer so much, he was threatening to call the police to report me! LOL. I said... "No need to do that, I'm just METHING with you."

    I hired bail bondsmen to hunt for Difficult Child by showing them her FB friends that she was hanging with. They already knew most of them from having bailed them out of jail, and knew their parents! They started knocking on their doors during the night. Big guys with tattoos. I saw texts from her friends asking her why they were being harassed!

    I drove around in my car with a baseball bat. I am 62 and if some punk is brave enough to p!ss off a post menopausal woman who hadn't had a good night sleep in months, then that's their problem.

    I have pulled my car in front of their car, blocking them, get out of my car with my bat, demanding that Difficult Child get out of their car.

    The best thing... I looked thru her texts from a 35yo guy who, after she was complaining about me following them. He texted her "your people really love you. My parents wouldn't have done any of that for me,"

    Ksm. (Aka GRambo)
     
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  6. StillStanding

    StillStanding Active Member

    GRambo - you're priceless!
     
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  7. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    ksm, you need to change your username to Grambo! I am in complete awe of you and StillStanding.:no1mom:

    I wish one of you had been my mother.

    SO is the one who tries to outsmart Ferb. Currently, he is tracking Ferb's expenses on his bankcard so he kinda knows where Ferb is. Recently, Ferb had breakfast at 5:15 am. SO texted to ask, "Are you up early or getting ready to go to bed?" Ferb has no idea how he knows these things.
     
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  8. Sam3

    Sam3 Active Member

    Grambo.

    My son needs a Gramba like you.

    (hopped up on Combos and taking practice swings).
     
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  9. Sam3

    Sam3 Active Member

    I'll repost this from another thread. It's among the more memorable low points and there's a bit more to the story.

    I found my sons homemade gatorade bottle bong. He denied what it was as if I was raised in a convent and wouldn't know any better. So, I proceeded to finish the bong by making a bowl out of foil, dropping it in the cutout he made for it, and poking holes in the bottom. He still denied it, so I loaded it up with a clump of dried grass and held the lighter over the top. He still denied it. I said if it's not a bong, then this shouldn't work right? He begged me not to do it. But of course, it was happening if he would let his mom smoke yard clippings before he would out himself.

    So, I smoked "grass" out of my sons Gatorade non-bong, while he watched in horror.

    A month later, I developed a lingering cough and went to my primary care physician. I thought it might be connected so I had to tell him the story. He had a teenager and is generally cool so we had a good laugh over it. He said he thought he had heard it all -- and asked if it was ok if he retold the story to his staff -- excluding names to protect the innocent.

    So I'm some kind of legendary fool at Cedars now.
     
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  10. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    True warrior parents.:warrior:
     
  11. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Was just about to add that very comment!
     
  12. StillStanding

    StillStanding Active Member

    Sam3,

    That is legendary!
     
  13. Shelley

    Shelley Helicopter Mom in Recovery


    You make me laugh because I have visions of going in to the dealer's house, or the park and threatening him to stay away from my son! I get the anger and mother power! My son started with ADHD back when they didn't know what was wrong. At least you made me laugh.

    I did the bank account thing, yes yes I did. He took money out of an empty bank account via an ATM machine. Then, the bank wouldn't let me close the account because they said it was his ;-)
     
  14. Shelley

    Shelley Helicopter Mom in Recovery

    I Love this!!! Riot! I remember when my son was 16 and I caught him smoking pot behind the house. He denied he was smoking pot or anything and there he was with a joint in his hand!
     
  15. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Son forgot to shut down IM to girlfriend on his computer. Posted a picture of him holdings homemade bong. Time stamp shows he should have been at school. Comment was: check this pen out after I ripped one pop.

    Confronted his response "That's not what you think! Do you think I would smoke pot out of that??"

    Yes it is and yes I do. The lies the lies lies lies.
    :mad:
     
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