I do know how our sibs can hurt us. I have 4, I am oldest, I am 48 (well, LOL in a couple days) One bro is 45, boy girl twins are ealry 30s and youngest brother is just tunred 21.
We have had several issues, some due to spouses, (my sibs do not like my husband - wanted me to divorce him when he got ill becuz he could not work- he was catatonic) and due to parenting (my oldest is BiPolar (BP), they did not yet have kids but they said alternately, - I was too strict- not strict enough- etc)
My mom was 15 when I was born, a single mom, broke, poor, her parents already deceased. My bio dad was a violent psychpath and he stalked her and us at gunpoint. My mom married the twins father, had the twins and then decided that husband of hers should not have to support and raise kids she had prior to that marriage- so she sent me to streets, and my now 45 bro wound up living with a now convicted pedophile.
My sister who is early 30s and a twin never worked outside the home. SHe had a very nice childhood, my youngest brothers father had a highly successful business. She went to finishing school, modeling school, and married a wealthy man straight from our mothers home. Her twin went to college, my youngest brothers father paid for that, he got a PhD told stefather he was studying law, but in truth he was in seminary, and became a doctor of ministry.
My sister has always said if I had divorced my ill husband I could have married someone with money and my children might not have been ill. My minister brother and his twin have said several times that if only I prayed harder and had stronger faith, my husband and kids would not have the disabilities they have.
My youngest brother lost his father at age 11 and our mother when he was 19.
My minister brother lives right near the university teaching childrens hospital where my son goes for his eye.
He is the hospital chaplain there. None of my sibs would cover for me, I was caring for our mother on her deathbed and my own husband was in ICU - mom an hour south of my house, husband an hour northeast of my house, and son 5 hours southeast of home....my sister fired the home health nurse I hired, so I could tend to my son, and I was at the hospital for my sons 9 hour surgery all alone, leaving oldest difficult child and easy child at home alone.
I need to also add, my sister is also the head of her churches homebound caregiving- that is- when people are ill, she cooks them meals and brings them to the families. She also drives people to doctor appts.
The hospital where my son was was quite concerned to have me be there with my son all by myself. More than once they badgered me to call someone anyone to come be there to be with me.
Noone would come. Heck not only would noone come be with me, noone would go be with my mom, dying of brain cancer..nevermind my sister lives a block from mom, and had POA and moms checkbook etc...........nevermind my now 45 bro wife did not work and they live 10 mins from moms, or my youngest brother lived WITH mom........I could not get ANYONE to fill in caring for mom!
The VA hospital where husband was was demanding I be THERE, as it was unclear if my husband would live.
Well, I then decided at the hospital with my son to mark the checkbox on admittance papers requesting a visit from hospital chaplain, so the chaplain could pray with me, guide me in prayer, whatever, and maybe then the hospital would feel better about me being alone thru my sons 9 hour surgery.
This hospital is right near my bros house. My minister bro.
My bro IS this hosps hospital chaplain.
Even then, my bro would not come to the hospital.........but neither did he go help care for my mother, either. SO since Nov "05 I have been going back and forth to that hospital usually 3 days a week, and paying for hotels and meals or staying at Ronald McDonald House with my brother living in his giant 5-6 bedroom home right there. :-(
As you can see, I must not have the first clue how to be a sibling and I must not know what is "normal" to expect back from sibs.
I taught my twin sibs how to drive. I bought them their first cars, nevermind I was living on my own at the time and nevermind their own father and our moms last husband had money. I took my now 45s wifes son into my home when he was diagnosis'ed BiPolar (BP) and I raised him age 11 to 16....becuz they said they needed a break. (no I did not get child support)
I do know one time I went to visit a cousin out of state, but not another cousin becuz my time was short. The cousin I did NOT visit had hurt feelings. (altho the cousin with hurt felings had come to my area many times and never visited me)
I also know many times I would make plans to visit my mother but my mother would then call other sibs to come visit at the same time, and sadly, a bigger group visit is not quite the same as a visit with just one sib.....and a visit with mom alone is not quite the same as a visit with mom plus other sibs.
MAYBE............maybe your one sib had something kinda personal she wanted to talk to other sib about?
Hard to tell.
I am sorry you feel hurt, tho. I think we feel much more hurt at the hands of those that love us than by strangers.
Maybe you can make arrangements to get together with yours one on one?
