I can’t discipline my teenager

[CierraBlack]

My son struggles with depression, anger issues, sleep apnea and ADD. He does whatever he wants, and I feel helpless. I’m a single mother of 3, my oldest being my 16yo daughter, then my teenage boy who is 13 (Devin) and my youngest son who is 4. Devin doesn’t go to school. he missed 60 days last year and has been to court and was told the consequences. probation & juvie) The attorney told me that he had to go to summer school to show the judge he is resposible. He refuses to go, even though he is promised $50 for completing the course with full attendance. He tells me his stomach hurts, and when i tell him he has to go he ignores me and stays in bed. He is 200lbs. I can’t do anything to make him go. I took away his gaming console and the lock on his door and he doesn’t care. there are no punishments that he would actually care about. if i tried to do anything else, he would throw a tantrum and start screaming at me, punching the wall, and throwing things around. I know he doesn’t mean to act like that and it’s just the moment, but when he does act like that my 4yo son sees it and copy’s from him. now my toddler will scream and cry when he doesn’t get his way and even goes to the extent to throw things as well. I feel defeated, and I don’t know what else to do.

 

[Baggy Bags]

Is your son in therapy? Perhaps you could also benefit from some parent training (I know it sounds horrible, but it's not what it sounds like, it's just tips on how to deal with difficult children).

 

[Triedntrue]

I went through many of the same behaviors with my son at that age. It is very difficult when they are almost as big as you and stronger. I understand what you are going through with magistrates . when I went before the magistrate he asked me what measures i took to get my son to school. I told him what a typical morning was like and that it was effecting my job and he laid down the law. I did not take a lawyer. You may have to let him face the consequences. Also yes he does mean to throw things because it intimidates you i went through alot of that as well. It is a form of abuse. He needs to get counceling and if he won't go you need to go and get strategies to deal with him. I know this is hard but it will not get better until there are consequences. He may be placed in an alternative school or he might be sent to a group home. I regret that i let my son intimidate me for so long. Do not let his add and other problems rule he has to be able to live in society. He may require medications. I actually accepted a plea bargain to put my son in a group home for 6 months which gave me some peace for a while. Prayers are with you. Also those diagnoses are very close to my sons but they may change my son is now diagnosed as bipolar.

 

[BusynMember]

I personallypbelieve he intentionally acts that way to get his way. Lots of kids have a diagnosis of ADHD but not all of them put holes in walls and throw things. Many function well. Depression, a demon I had badly at 13 and beyond, does not cause violence. Your son needs to learn coping strategies or he will have a grim future. Is he in psychiatric treatment?

This is probably scary for your four year old.

I hope you can get him the treatment he needs. If he strikes anyone I would call the police. They may force him to get help plus he needs severe consequences for assault, no matter what he age is.

Does he see his father?

 

[Crayola13]

If he is telling you this stomach hurts, it's usually anxiety. Something at school. Change of friends? Fights with friends? Girl problems? Bullying?