I cannot STAND this mess anymore! Long RANT!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by KTMom91, Dec 28, 2009.

  1. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    My house is a disaster. Hubby's idea of cleaning is to make piles, so there were neat little piles of stuff everywhere. Then Miss KT needed something, or the dog was playing, or the panthers were fighting, and the piles get scattered. You practically need knee pads and shin guards to walk through the living room.

    Miss KT does the laundry, which I do appreciate, but she makes off-balance stacks on the bed with the clean clothes, that get knocked over by the dog playing, the panthers fighting...and then Hubby piles the whole mess on his dresser, so I get to sort it, fold it, and attempt to put it away after it's been in a wrinkly mess for however long.

    And the kitchen. Miss KT did some baking Christmas Eve, and I finally got her to wash the bowl that's full of water and cookie dough scrapings TODAY. Two plates have been broken, who knows how, there's a pan with something unidentifiable and greasy in it, the garbage can is overflowing, and so is the cardboard etc., because our city now recycles. Why am I the only one genetically capable of doing dishes?

    The bathroom that I started painting two summers ago, before my first knee surgery, is still not finished. I would finish, except that I have been expressly forbidden to stand on anything but a stepladder (after breaking my leg falling off an ottoman I was standing on to paint Miss KT's room), and the stepladder doesn't fit where I need to paint.

    I collect ceramic masks, and several of them have music boxes. The toy panthers have learned to pull the string with their evil little teeth, so the music plays. Miss KT's demon panther has knocked over the Christmas tree TWICE this afternoon, and now the lights don't work. I would put the ornaments away, and take the tree down, but Hubby put the ornament bin somewhere, and I don't feel like checking three storage sheds and the garage to find it right now.

    I need to sort clothes and get new ones for work. Since I usually work at different schools, it doesn't matter if I wear the same thing two or three days in a row. My habit of "come home, do some laundry, go to work" had to change when I was at the same place for five days. I don't even know what I have, and there's a rolling rack of Hubby's clothes in front of the closet that breaks dramatically whenever I try to move it. There's also no place to move it to, because our bedroom is basically a hallway leading to the bathroom and Miss KT's bedroom.

    And then we have Hubby's impending layoff on Jan. 4, no health insurance after Jan. 31, which means no medications for any of us unless we can afford COBRA. What a joy THAT will be...

    I don't even know where to start with this. I am so overwhelmed I get tired just thinking about everything I need to do. If you made it this far...thanks.
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    You're welcomed :). Gosh Mary---sounds like someone there needs to step up. My husband is a piler too. Ugh. He keeps his clothes on top of the dryer. And our laundry room is so teeny tiny that I knock his clothes over frequently. His shoes are left on the floor, under the sink in the bathroom he shares with Jana. There are two sinks in there, but only one is accessible because he usually has a pile in the other one. It makes me nuts----but, I try to ignore it most of the time. You would never know he has a dresser with 6 drawers and a closet in the bedroom.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    ((((hugs)))) Mary.

    I'd offer for you to come here but my house is the same way right now. husband being off work is driving me near the breaking point myself, especially since I've been home with him for a month.

    My house is also a disaster. He shifts things around......and I don't even get neat piles. We won't discuss how he washes the dishes..... But let's just say he "cleans" for 5-10 mins then sits down for 10 hrs.

    But at least I don't have baby animals making the mess worse.

    I already am dealing with no insurance..........and we got a notification from the attorney general today. That's how I discovered that husband didn't pay our school tax. When I demanded why? Cuz his work didn't take it out. OMG! His work NEVER took it out!! He knew that.

    Ok. I'll shut up now before I take over your post with my own rant.

    (((hugs))) Just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry your home looks like mine. I am disabled and not supposed to bend to pick stuff off of the floor.

    husband is unable to do 30 mins of chores for some reason (NOT a real one, msotly because his computer is just too much fun, grrrr) and the kids only do chores if they are specifically told to. Jess does some stuff on her own, and is pretty good, but thank you won't. husband refuses to ask/tell them to do anything. GRRRRRRRRR. He just whines to me that they don't choose to do chores.

    So I totally understand. I may take a day this week and have a major tizzy - and enforce about 4 rooms worth of chores on my peeple.

    by the way, a few years ago I figured out why males do not wash anything that does not fit in the dishwasher, wipe counters, clean stoves, etc....

    It is all because they do not fit in the dishwasher!!!


    Sorry about the insurance. There is a federal grant that will pay a major portion of COBRA, and if you go with-o insurance many brand name medications are free/cheap through the pharm. cos.

  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I can NOT recommend this for anyone else - and would not. However - about three weeks ago I blew the proverbial hiney gasket. I had tried - "Can we have a family meeting?" and then sat down calmly with everyone discussing how we all need to pull together :puppet: and help each other & not so that I could feel like a :queen: but so that we could help each other and have peace in the home. WELL!......that lasted all of (looks at corner of cobwebbed house) mmm yeah about that long. Then everyone went back to "Oh okay we sat, we listenened INTENTLY to the crazy lady, and that should count for a chore, or SOMETHING, and now we're going back to watching her be the silent maid, or the mime-servant, or the mute-cabana girl. OH and when she "STARTS up" again? "Why we'll sit and listen AGAIN (sigh, roll eyes but only where SHE can't see them) because it's cathartic for HER.

    Well.....this is a vicious cycle that has gone on and on and on....and it's not like I'm running around with white gloves and a surgical mask in my own home expecting perfection in cleanliness. You have a sock, you wear the sock, you take the sock off , could you would you with a fox, could you would you in that box? I mean for the love of Hanes??? PUT THAT IN THE HAMPER or in the dirty clothes basket? Or how about...JUST FOR KICKS? Just for the sake of making me laugh like the large woman at the fair ride in the dark.....put it in the laundry room. But nooooooooo you take a sock off and it goes in a ball, and then you throw it across the room, or you take it off and leave it in the DINING ROOM???? (WTH?) or my favorite - in the bathroom (yes please mix the dirt with the water you leave on the floor 1" depth from the shower you take and make MUD pies on the tile floor then expect me to clean THAT too....WOW!!! HOW in the blue moon can ANYONE take a shower with a curtain and leave a rug sopping wet and a floor 1" thick with water? It's like Jumanji happens in our bathroom every single time you shower - I swear I feel the need to walk in my own toilet with a rifle or a butterfly net every time you walk out smelling like a man-hoochie---alligators could survive in that swamp.

    And if I ask you to clean it up? You know CLEAN up after YOUR-S.E.L.F.? HOLY MOSES near the burning bush...you get so mad it's like you are going to spontaneously combust - which by the way if you did? I'd have to clean up THAT mess too - so please allow me to back off of my request before you burn a hole in my carpet and leave me with smoke damage. GOOD grief.

    Then lets talk about your eating habits shall we? I'm installing a mall trash can, throwing out my kitchen table and installing a 2'x2' table with 2 chairs. Mmmmhmm. Yeah see- Go to a mall...and serve a teen a meal on a red plastic tray. Ever see them leave the dish on the sofa or coffee table there? Nope. They systematically follow the herd and dump their tray in the stone trash can with the lid. Voila. I mean it. Maybe the secret is to NOT keeping our homes so cozy? Instead of couches - we replace them with mall style benches? Instead of kitchens - Orange Julius, or Chick Filet windows. I'm still not sure what to do with the bathrooms. Even mall bathrooms could require a rifle or butterfly net and be caustic (see manual on germophobes) but still....maybe a washroom attendant at minimum wage?

    I'm not sure what the answer is, but the only solution I've found so far is minimizing, and doing the work myself. When I say minimizing - I mean....HEFTY HEFTY HEFTY minimizing. :beautifulthing::goodluck:

    Hugs & Love
    Your Sister in Combat
    Merry Maid
  6. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think the first step is to make sure there are no Hoarders in your home. Have you seen this show? Is there stuff in your house that you just truly do not need? Too many clothes? Garbage not in the can?
    For every single thing you pick up - MAKE SURE you NEED it.

    OK, once you have that determined. Make sure everyone has enough dressers to contain their clothes. If not, try under the bed containers.

    Do you have a garage you can load up stuff you do not need anymore? Or an attic? Basement? Once you get it out of your living area and people can see what it is like to live with harmony...then work on the basement, garage, attic stuff.

    Just some starting suggestions. Right now I think everyone's house is more chaotic than usual due to presents and decorations.
  7. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Hugs and understanding and another ditto. husband is off this week. I asked him to do one thing yesterday - wash wee's bedding when he got up (wee wets the bed).

    He put the sheets in the washer at about 7 last night. Never did put them in the dryer.

    About 11, when I was finishining folding the laundry that had been on the couch for 2 days, he said "don't do that, we can get it tomorrow".

    Oh yeah? what was wrong with TODAY???? Is tomorrow the same tomorrow as it was on Sunday when you said that? Cause obviously THAT didn't work.

  8. TPaul

    TPaul Idecor8

    Well ladies, I am here to speak up for those of the male persuasion who take the appearance, smell, and order our home very seriously, :beautifulthing:
    Yes there are some of males out there that hate to have a unorderly, messed up, stinky, out of control home. I happen to be one of the, thank goodness, otherwise our home would be mistaken for a national disaster area in need of a presidentally signed order for funds for immediate clean up. :hearye:

    Yes ladies, I happen to be the main person in our household that does 90% of all the laundrey. And yes, before anyone makes a comment, I do sort clothes by colors, by fabrics and hang or lay to dry those things that need such. :irock: Yes I am the exception that you thought that you would never see in your life time.

    I hate a dirty counter not wiped off, I detest a sink full of dirty dishes, I can not stand a floor not swept or vaccumed. Spotty windows and mirrors make me see spots, :nonono:

    Yes I do believe that there is a place for everything and that everything, and I do mean everything should be in its place!!

    I want the kids clothes to match and no tangles in hair. While I do think it a virtue to share what we have with othes, Body odor is something that should never be shared with others. Really body odor is somthing that one should not even share with oneself. LOL

    Don't even, really you don't want to get me started on why one should not appear in public with those unsightly, god aweful, unthinkably nattie things called --- Wrinkled Clothes!!!!!!!! God gave someone the wonderfully gifted insight to produce something in our life time called--- THE ELECTRIC STEAM IRON!!!! Come on peoples-- it is not like we have to do like in olden times to have unwrinkled garments. We do not have to use those 20 lb. cast iron weight lifting devices that our ancestors had to use. WE do not have to heat them up on the cast iron stove or fire pit. We do not have to wrap the handles with cloth to keep from burning our hands. And as an added gift someone also produced Spray Starch. No more mixing old time starch in water. Spraying our garments and then putting them in the frig and then ironing then our with tons of steam. We have it made so by all means IRON THOSE CLOTHES :picture: People are watching and notice it more than you might even think. Who is going to get the job-- one in a nice clean out which is starched and pressed, or the wadded up, creased in wrinkles???? Yeah you no what I am talking about. Son or daughter brings home date. Nice clean and ironed boy or girl, or slobby wrinkled lad or lass, which would you get the good first impression of??? Ok, off that soap box for now, LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!! I really should own stock in an iron and or starch company. My wife gets riled when I always take time to iron my clothes before going anywhere. I can probably count on one hand when I have went out in public wrinkled since we got married.

    Ok, enough of me blowing my own horn, But wanted the ladies of the world to know, (well the ladies on the board here anyway) that there are those of the male persuasion that do feel your pain. Who know the agony of a cluttered home. One who under stands the need to make sure ones laundry is done in a orderly and consise manner. Who sees the benefit of having the closet color organised from lightest to darkest color and to have each garment facing the same direction.

    Orderly people of the World, unite! We can hold out in a world filled with slobs and we will one day changed the world!!:warrior:

    Well, at least we might one day change our homes!!! Ok forget it, its a lost cause but at least we know that some of us are perfect!!

    Doing it all,

    Ok, we can always hope!!!!
  9. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not



    Sorry that you are living in a disaster zone! I thought my animals were bad with their habit of dragging socks and underpants out to the middle of the living room to play with them. (Yes, that's always fun--a game of dirty underpants tug-of-war...)

    In my house, I am the only one allowed to touch the washer and dryer (yes, it's a new rule after some previous issues...but that's another story) and laundry gets done on Saturdays. Period. You have something you want washed? It better darn well make it to the laundry room before Saturday. And if it's knotted up, inside-out, in a ball, things stuffed in the pockets? Well, that item does not get washed.

    O yes, and any money I find, I keep...

    We did not even decorate the tree this year.....why not? Cause MOM doesn't feel like cleaning up after all the festivities this year. Nobody else seemed to want the job either--so guess what? No decorations!

    After all, what do I care if the shopping and baking and decorating didn't get done? I'm not the one who needs the presents and the cookies and the lights on the windows....

    So yeah....I hear ya.

    I don't have the answers....but I hear ya!

  10. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Possibly being an extremist???? Star wonders.......

    What would happen if you really DID bring a donkey into the house without a diaper bag over it's tail, and just let nature happen then told your family....."Oh just step over it...you step over all the REST of this mess." :sick:
  11. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member


    I find living in a messy, cluttered, and frankly dirty, house very stressful. My difficult children? Forget it! Most of the time I just don't have the will to fight them on this issue day in and day out. I work full time and am going to school; I could literally spend all of my other waking hours cleaning just to have it made a filthy mess by the difficult children.

    Daughter's room smells like a barn because of the G-pigs and she doesn't clean their cage often enough. Clean up after herself? Ha! I've blown a gasket so many times with her I've lost count. She will leave the door open of her room and the smell will snake its way through the house.

    Son? Another "ha!" This kid considers brushing his teeth a "chore".

    I have come into he kitchen with dirty dishes covering the counter; it doesn't occur to anyone to put them in the dishwasher that is all of about ...oh I don't know...six inches away?

    Laundry? Oh my....I don't want to think about it.

    husband is very organized and neat, he always has been. I tend to be the one with "piles". His side of the closet the t-shirts are neatly folded in neat piles. My side? It doesn't look awful, but compared to husband? Not good. Of course, husband has learned the very hard way to keep his mouth shut on the subject. He's gone most of the time working and doesn't have to deal with the day in and day out distressing drama of our children. He DOES do the laundry when he is home and actually does a much better job than me. So, men like him and Tpaul do exist.

    Then the added stress of job layoff. I'm so sorry. husband worries that might come for us, too, in the future.
  12. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Our lives are parallel!!! I live the same cycle. And I truly mourn the fact that we both live with the dreaded piles of wrinkled up laundry. Some things get washed many times without being worn, simply to avoid ironing, or because they appear dirty and how am I to know the difference in a wrinkled mess? Not to mention the wobbly piles fall all over, making a nice warm bed for difficult child's cat, thus they fill with cat hair, that then gets through the entire laundry load GRRR!

    So here's what I did. When I was packing away things to make way for Christmas decorations, I PURGED. I didn't ask anybody. If it wasn't being used to my knowledge, it went into a box. If it was dusty for months, it obviousy was not valued, it went into a box. I purged lovely things but ones that cluttered and drove me crazy. I went through each item going into the laundry. If I could not recall recent memory of anybody wearing said item, it went to a garbage bag. Again, I asked nobody. Odds are they wont' notice a high percentage of the missing things. i don't even know how many boxes and garbage bags I ended up with.

    I had a local charity place come pick it all the very next day before hands could dip in and drag anything back out. I couldn't believe how much less STUFF we can easily live with. So far, not one question of "where is such and such". So yup, nobody cared! Except for me!! The piles were reduced and can't expand as large. Nooks and crannies of piled up "things" are now out of my hair and out of the fray. It honestly helps!!! I highly recommend it.

    As for the clothes thing, I now only do MY laundry and easy child's laundry since she is only 10. However she is now responsible for keeping her clothes ONLY in her room, nowhere else in the house. When I'm ready for a load of her dirty stuff, she is to gather it all and bring it to me. She doesn't? I don't ask again. I don't do it. School clothes dirty? Too bad so sad. She learned the hard way to bring me a basket full of laundry if she wants clean clothes. As for S/O and difficult child, I wont' touch their laundry. Won't wash. Won't fold. Won't put away. Won't iron wrinkles that exist because someone didn't hang it after coming out of the dryer wrinkle free.

    I remove bedding for washing in the morning, by evening all bedding is back on beds. I wash towels available (meaning in bathroom or in laundry room, but don't collect from bedrooms). I keep a stash of my own clean towels. If they dont' bring their dirty ones, they can darn well dry themselves with them. Live and learn lol.

    I still can't claim a pristine home, not likely going to happen ever. But there's fewer and smaller piles, and my aggravation level is much less. Baby steps!
  13. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Mary, before husband died & when wm was still living here I had 3 hoarders in my home. When it was just husband & myself it was almost manageable ~ I'd sit down with husband & we'd plan the chores weekly & monthly. husband actually donated items of clothing, computers to the Boyscouts, etc. He wasn't the extreme hoarder he was at the end of his life.

    I laid claim to the kitchen ~ that was my room & no one was to leave anything in it or it would be removed. I also put my claim on the common areas so company could come & there was a way to exit the house in case of a fire.

    You walked upstairs at your own risk, entered husband's office at your own risk.

    Saying that, after husband died & before the remodel, my family came to help sort things out & we filled 2 30 yard dumpsters. It was like a scene from Hoarders except I didn't protest; husband wasn't here to protest & kt was at respite that weekend. (I probably should have protested or been more aware as new televisions got tossed, computers with data got tossed & I paid thru the nose to dispose of those items on top of all that.)

    I hate a cluttered messy house. It never is truly clean because you cannot get to the floors & other areas to clean. You have my empathy.
  14. tawnya

    tawnya New Member

    "Not to mention the wobbly piles fall all over, making a nice warm bed for difficult child's cat, thus they fill with cat hair, that then gets through the entire laundry load GRRR!" Exactly!

    I just want to lift my house up and shake it upside down. We have entirely too much stuff for this little house. Any purging I do has to be when everyone else is GONE. If you haven't used it, wanted it, or asked about it in months, it should be gone.

    But, this is not my house. Sigh...
  15. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Mary, after you get Shari's re-gift, maybe you can use it as a bribe for husband to help you clean up the place.


  16. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Matts Mom -

    Could that be.....

    "Our lives are para-smell?"

    OH (snort) i kill me....:angel3:
  17. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I can see it now....
    And if husband won't take the bribe, I bet some other guys would, just to get a glimpse. lol
  18. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Does that come with a box of candy?
  19. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?