I can't do this again, I can't

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Oct 1, 2010.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Tigger has gone off the deep end. He has trashed his classroom twice, flipped another boy on to the floor, is now in complete school refusal. I just spend an hour at the school. He was calm when we pulled up but freaked out when the teacher came out to get him.
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Oh boy... what is the sd recommending? I'm surprised they didn't get to this point before you did. Not that I want my son in Department of Juvenile Justice, but I can tell you that not having to deal with sd issues except for attending an IEP meeting is a huge load off my back. And when I was speaking with an admin person for Department of Juvenile Justice's sd, we both chuckled and agreed that it's remarkable how much better these kids behave and get good grades when they can't refuse to go to school, get what amounts to isolation in a locked cell 24/7 if they act out in school, and the sd can't suspend them or call complaining to the parent. My son ended up with all A's and B's with one exception (C in PE) in Department of Juvenile Justice last year. Not that I'm suggesting you get Tigger in Department of Juvenile Justice, just that I feel for you!
  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Of course, the school refusal clinic won't take him until he is 12....grrrr.
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I'm sorry, JJJ.
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Any idea what triggered the events?

    Do you think the Seroquel is doing an adequate job?

    I'm sorry this has been dumped on your plate, I really am. You've had enough.
  6. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Tigger has always struggled with school anxiety. Our first incident of school refusal was at 3-year old at-risk preschool. Last year was great, he verbally expressed some anxiety but zero incidents of school refusal.
    He was fine this year until he was bullied :mad:

    I found another school refusal clinic (the first one called back with the suggestion!) and while he'd have to attend the child unit, they have enough little ones with school refusal that the school refusal clinical staffdoes sessions for them and provides the school liason person to their cases as well! The rest of the day would be spent doing more general therapy with a focus on anxiety (art therapy, music therapy, groups, lunch, school time, etc).

    The whole program is designed to last 3 weeks but they are flexible with each child depending on how they respond to the therapy and medications. I spoke with his teacher and she is completely willing to do what ever the program needs her to do to transitition him back into school from the program, etc. :)

    We are doing the formal intake tomorrow morning so hopefully the program is as good as it sounds and they accept him!!!
  7. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Well it started off as a horrible post but maybe this will actually end up being a better thing?
    I am sorry it has to take this but it might really help with with his anxiety, lets hope.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry he is dealing with this (really that all of you are). I hope the intake goes well tomorrow. Gentle hugs.
  9. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I'm just so tired of having to try again. I'm tired of having profanities screamed at me by my baby, having to restrain him and then when it is over having him sob in my arms cause he hates himself for losing control and for 'being a wimp' cause he gets so very, very scared.
  10. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I had to really battle my own PTSD while making these calls to find help for him. I did my best to avoid anywhere we had ever sent Kanga but looking at using services from a psychiatric hospital was almost overwhelming. I always saw them as places to hold her to give us a break from the violence because they never, ever helped Kanga get any better. I explained to this new place that I was concerned about putting him in a unit (even just the day program) with kids like Kanga. She explained that kids like Kanga are very rare and that they likely would not have accepted Kanga as they are focused on children with anxiety and related disorders. Huge difference in that Tigger wants to be better, that tdocs always report that he tries very hard and we have always seen improvement with him and therapy.

    Tig slept for 3 hours after we got home from school. When he woke up, he asked some questions about what happened - he doesn't remember anything from the last 20 minutes or so at the school nor the ride home. He said he does remember saying very mean things to me but wishes he didn't remember that part and that he could have me forget it too. He's been very calm all night. He made me a card that had a question mark for all the stuff I have to figure out, a lightbulbs for my great ideas, and a sun to keep us happy and "love you" written on it.
  11. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Awww, what a sweetie. Good luck tomorrow morning.

  12. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    JJJ, you do have your hands full and I hear you about PTSD because of having walked this road before. You are amazing at how quickly you find and get services that your kids need.