color me confused
New Member
First let me say my husband and I are going to our first Al-Anon meeting tomorrow night and I have made an appointment with my doctor for the 13th. I need to get back on medications after all that is going on. I am bipolar, and haven't been on my medications for about 6 months. With all the stress going to the Dr. has been low on my list of things to do, but I can't take it anymore and have to go.
My husband and I have four adult children. 25 daughter doing well, is engaged and they bought a house about a year ago. 22 daughter doing well, is working full time and going to college part time (I must admit to going through several years of her on drugs but she has been clean for about 5 years). Son 21 in a few weeks just turned himself into jail (today) for a crime he says he didn't commit, he had an issue with his work release so had to go back to jail. Son 19 was kicked out of our house when he was 18 due to drugs and alcohol.
Oldest son has been living with us and has worked for maybe two months of his life. When he gets out of jail in a few months I think we should just give him two months to find a job, if he doesn't at least look for work he should be kicked out. He sadly does smoke pot and drink, he must also stop these things in order to stay.
Youngest son 19 was arrested several times last year after being kicked out because he kept coming back (each time we asked him to leave before it resulted in calling 911) and causing issues. The last time he was arrested he served 7 months in jail for threatening to kill me, he was very graphic in his details of how he was going to kill me.
When 19 year old son was released grandpa offered him a warm place to live, but my son's friends and drugs were more important so he didn't stay with grandpa (I should add that we live next door to grandpa). Jobless son got an apartment with some friends and husband and I spent a fair amount of money buying them things for the apartment. This arrangement didn't last, son got into a fight with his friend and moved into a house with some other friends. Husband and I bought more things for son in this house. Well, as expected son got into a fight with one of the guys and had to move.
Husband and I made the mistake of letting son sleep here for three nights but he had to leave in the morning when we went to work. After three nights here we told him he couldn't stay anymore, because of outbursts and coming over here stoned. Each night after that he would call to see if he could stay and we told him no, I think he ended up staying with other friends. The night before last he called about 11:30 and asked if he could stay in the trailer (next to the house) because...you guessed it, he got into another fight and didn't have a place to sleep. It was late and we were half asleep so we let him. He left when he woke up about about 10:30, I gave him five bucks for bus fare and some donuts. We didn't hear from him last night and are guessing that husband forgot to lock the trailer and son slept in it.
Husband has locked the trailer so he can't sleep in it tonight. I'm so afraid of where my drugged out son is going to sleep tonight. I'm obsessing over it. I'm also afraid that he will come here and cause issues that will once again result in us calling 911 and him being arrested.
I realize this is quite long and I haven't even touched on all of the issues. I just need help and don't know where to turn. I have been reading posts here recently and thought this would be a great place to get some advice. I will take any advice you have to give.
My husband and I have four adult children. 25 daughter doing well, is engaged and they bought a house about a year ago. 22 daughter doing well, is working full time and going to college part time (I must admit to going through several years of her on drugs but she has been clean for about 5 years). Son 21 in a few weeks just turned himself into jail (today) for a crime he says he didn't commit, he had an issue with his work release so had to go back to jail. Son 19 was kicked out of our house when he was 18 due to drugs and alcohol.
Oldest son has been living with us and has worked for maybe two months of his life. When he gets out of jail in a few months I think we should just give him two months to find a job, if he doesn't at least look for work he should be kicked out. He sadly does smoke pot and drink, he must also stop these things in order to stay.
Youngest son 19 was arrested several times last year after being kicked out because he kept coming back (each time we asked him to leave before it resulted in calling 911) and causing issues. The last time he was arrested he served 7 months in jail for threatening to kill me, he was very graphic in his details of how he was going to kill me.
When 19 year old son was released grandpa offered him a warm place to live, but my son's friends and drugs were more important so he didn't stay with grandpa (I should add that we live next door to grandpa). Jobless son got an apartment with some friends and husband and I spent a fair amount of money buying them things for the apartment. This arrangement didn't last, son got into a fight with his friend and moved into a house with some other friends. Husband and I bought more things for son in this house. Well, as expected son got into a fight with one of the guys and had to move.
Husband and I made the mistake of letting son sleep here for three nights but he had to leave in the morning when we went to work. After three nights here we told him he couldn't stay anymore, because of outbursts and coming over here stoned. Each night after that he would call to see if he could stay and we told him no, I think he ended up staying with other friends. The night before last he called about 11:30 and asked if he could stay in the trailer (next to the house) because...you guessed it, he got into another fight and didn't have a place to sleep. It was late and we were half asleep so we let him. He left when he woke up about about 10:30, I gave him five bucks for bus fare and some donuts. We didn't hear from him last night and are guessing that husband forgot to lock the trailer and son slept in it.
Husband has locked the trailer so he can't sleep in it tonight. I'm so afraid of where my drugged out son is going to sleep tonight. I'm obsessing over it. I'm also afraid that he will come here and cause issues that will once again result in us calling 911 and him being arrested.
I realize this is quite long and I haven't even touched on all of the issues. I just need help and don't know where to turn. I have been reading posts here recently and thought this would be a great place to get some advice. I will take any advice you have to give.