I feel like a horrible mother!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tiredmommy, May 26, 2009.

  1. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Duckie takes Asmanex as a maintenance medication for her asthma. It comes in a metered inhaler that loads a dose when the lid is snapped back on it. Duckie's doctor has had her on a double dose because of yet another cold causing her asthma to kick up.

    We've been trying to help Duckie feel more in control of her medications so we dose her Zyrtec but she does her Nasonex (1 squirt in each nostril) and her Asmanex (double dose right now).

    I was putting away her medications a few days ago... it was either Friday or Saturday... and her Asmanex showed 8 doses remaining.

    Duckie just told me that her inhaler hasn't been going down when she closes cap... that it still reads 8 doses. She hasn't been snapping the cap closed all the way.

    The best case scenario is that she hasn't had her maintenance medication in even a single dose since Saturday... but it may have been longer. :(

    This explains why she's been so difficult recently and her ODD is coming on full force... she hasn't been sleeping well because her breathing is inadequate. :crying:
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    It's okay TM. We've all had things like that happen at one point or another. I've double-dosed both difficult child's at one time or another with their ADD medications. Or forgotten to give several days of antibiotic medications...

    So no beating yourself up! :flower:
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I know it was an honest error... either myself or husband watched her thinking she was inhaling the medicine. It's just that, well, breathing isn't optional. I should have checked the counts on the inhaler. I mean, this is a child that often needs help opening a bottle of water... why would I think she could properly and completely close the inhaler.

    I'm the parent, I should have verified.
  4. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member

    "Honest error" is the key phrase here! So don't be too hard on yourself. easy child used to use his inhaler frequently when his allergies got really bad. I watched him and thought he was doing it correctly, but the doctor watched him, and said he was doing it wrong. So the doctor taught him the right way... and then easy child didn't need it as often, because the first dose worked!

    It will take way more than that for you to lose your Mother of the Year badge! ;)
  5. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    The thing here is that you know now and that you care! Chalk it up to lesson learned and teach Ducky how to check if the cap is closed and now you can check better as well.

    Looking back doesn't help you or her.
    We all have done things we can beat ourselves up about.

    You love this kid and would never hurt her intentionally.

    Huge hugs
  6. ML

    ML Guest

    Please go easy on yourself. I've had similar things happen with manster's medications. The important thing is you now know and you can get her back on track.
  7. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Everyone is alive, and no one was hospitalized.

    I thought I was going to let difficult child take his pills on his own. His behavior detiorated, and I found 2 weeks worth of pills under his mattress.

    You are human.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Please go easy on yourself, I've made similar mistakes. Gentle hugs.
  9. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Thanks for the support, I'm still upset with myself but it will run it's course. She seems to be sleeping better so far tonight.
  10. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Lesson learned. Time to move on.

    Just think of it as having averted a disaster by realizing it now.

  11. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    She's all right so no harm, no foul. This was a small mistake.....forgive yourself and let it go. If you're as human as the rest of us, you will make plenty more.

  12. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Ouch. I'd tell ya to blow it off, but I also know how easily (or not) one does that from my own recent parenting flubs.

    But do try not to take it too hard - it was an honest mistake and we all make them. Chalk it up to lesson learned.
  13. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Sweetie, you really have to give yourself a break. There's not a one of us who have forgotten to refill medications, give medications or the like.

    It's called being human. It's a good thing.
  14. aeroeng

    aeroeng Mom of Three

    The first time I was a horrible mother was when son #1 was just learning to roll over. I had him on the diaper changing pad, and lean over to get a clean diaper. He rolled right out from under my hand and fell to the floor. Split his lip wide open.

    I was a horrible mother when son # 3 was eyeing a latter and I never took it down. He fell over 13 feet and got a nice Harry Potter zig zag lightning bolt scar in the middle of his forehead (Not really the correct spot for it, but you don't have a lot of control on these things).

    I was a horrible mother when son #2 had a rash and I kept putting the cream on it. Turns out he was allergic to the cream.

    I was a horrible mother when son #2 had a sinus infection. I made a solution of salt and water. Drops up the nose, sound yucky but really works well for getting everything out. I was a horrible mother, because the next day I mixed up the salted water with the fresh water and handed it to son #3 to drink his medications with. (Oh! and they have not forgiven me for this!)

    I was a horrible mother when I made son #1 walk to the base loge with a level 3 ruptured spleen. (well he really did not scream and complain anymore then normal for little things.)

    I could go on and on. I think with life around you it is impossible to not be a horrible mother every now and then. Do the best you can, cry, feel guilty move on. The only guarantee you have is that something else will happen next week.
  15. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Thanks everyone. I'm starting to feel better now; I guess I just needed some time to process. Duckie quite willingly agreed to have husband or myself check the dose count before and after her medications are administered.
  16. therese005us

    therese005us New Member

    You are definitely not a horrible mother!
    We all make mistakes, and we are human. Thankfully, there was no danger or terrible consequences.
    Want to hear a funny one? I was caring for two little boys, 2 and 1. They had terrible behaviours.... very challenging, very stressful.
    If could go wrong before a contact visit with bio mum it, did, and if there was a social worker visit, double that.
    well, it was goingto Court this day for orders for longterm care, to me.... I was on standby to be a (good) witness.
    ..short version.... i noticed the cap off the panadol..... empty bottle..... 1 year old had sticky fingers... oh boy!
    Several hours later, with 2 year old and 6 month old in tow and a lovely neighbour we were up the hospital tryin to convince 1 year old that it was a GrEAT idea to eat charcoal with icecream....
    Believe me, I had a migraine... I was told to go to general hospital in several hours to have special scan as drinking overdose of panadol was very serious.
    We went home, exhausted no less. Happened to casually go past the plant pot, and discover a pool of panadol around the plants....he hadn't drunk any of it!
    I felt like an awful mother. for leaving it handy. My reason, and it didn't usually happen, was that baby was very ill and needed panadol at frequent interval... i was sleep depraved etc. but no excuse would have been good enough for bio mum or social worker if something serious had transpired! So, we have all done it... none of us feel good about it.... and it will happen again to one of us.... we are all in God's grace and He won't send more problems than we can handle (though we wonder sometimes!)

    Have a great day.!!