I have found serenity with H.

[Fran]

It's a wonderful post. Good for you for figuring this out and how to continue to live a purposeful life.
Enjoy your friends and your son.
Laughter is my best healing potion. Sounds like you have really put together a plan.

 

[4sumrzn]

Many {{{hugs}}} coming your way. I am so very happy for you. Sounds like things are starting to brighten up for you in a positive way

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh Steely, WONDERFUL!!!!

You are taking incredibly positive steps. They are difficult but as you can see, calming and fulfilling. YOU GO!

 

[Star*]

I think your plan has brought a smile to a LOT of people and .....angels faces. GOOD FOR YOU KID - I am so glad you are moving in a positive direction.

Hugs & Love
Star

 

[Steely]

Thanks guys.........

It is such a culmination of things for me.
The support I get here, in counseling, and my own tenacity to find peace. But the most pivotal piece of this for me was completely removing myself from my parents. The day I did this.........amazing things started happening in my life. It is really powerful. I guess removing myself from their dysfunction, and not letting it cloud H.'s memory is the turning point. I have control over how I want to grieve & remember my baby sister now - and it is in no way contingent on any action that a person takes. It is all in my lap to do with as a I wish.

The same night I sent the email to my parents absolving myself from all of this, another pivotal thing happened. A girl at work sent me a poem out of the blue, within the same hour that I had sent the email to my parents. She did not know about anything or really even me except H had died. The poem was about her late husband who was a victim of a triple homicide that has never been solved. She told me she was thinking about me, and hoped this poem would help. Blew me away.

It was truly the most divine thing that has happened in years.........I was blown away by the timing, the thought, the confirmation that I was doing the right thing. The last 10 years I have doubted God and religion in every way possible. For the first time in decades, I think I may be rekindling my relationship with God, as I know him. Unbelievable.

 

[4sumrzn]

and....another smile from me because of your last post above

again....{{{hugs}}}

 

[TerryJ2]

Steely, that is wonderful that you found that connection with-that woman at work. Especially since her issues in regard to solving the murder are unresolved, as are yours in regard to your sister. You are not alone.
Your parents sound toxic. Especially toward you. Seems like you made a good move.
It seems so freeing. What a load off your back.

 

[Wiped Out]

Steely,
This post has had me smiling. You've been in my prayers every morning and will continue to be there. I'm glad you are experiencing peace.

 

[Suz]

I am going to grieve my beloved sister in MY way...I have found a support group, and I will be attending soon.

Steely, I think both of these revelations are critical to healing. I am glad for you that you are at these junctures.

Hugs,
Suz