I need a hug...or ten

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by flutterbee, Mar 14, 2008.

  1. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I'm still pretty loopy so please bear with me.

    I called my doctor this morning for a few reasons. The prednisone was making me feel absolutely horrible. I had to take nitroglycerin a few times starting last night because of angina, I felt just unwell yesterday (not sick to my stomach..just a general feeling of not feeling well), I started having what I can only describe as shooting, bone pain last night with it and I also wanted to let my doctor know that since I've been on the prednisone my hands have quit swelling (they would swell with minimal use). Well, all they heard was that I took nitro 3 times since last night (this was 8:30 this morning) and my doctor wanted me to call the squad. :surprise:

    I would have gone to the hospital if I had thought it warranted. It worries me when I have to take nitro and I slept with the phone in my room just in case, but I didn't feel like I needed to go to the hospital. I told her that I would go, but I would have my mom take me; I wasn't calling the squad.

    I tell my mom to go ahead and take a shower before coming up (and she's 45 minutes away). I really wasn't worried about my heart. I really called my doctor because the prednisone was making me feel so bad and I wanted to try something else and because the bone pain is new. But, I felt like I had to go or she wasn't going to take me seriously anymore.

    So, instead of going to my local hospital, I went straight to the hospital they would transfer me to if I needed to be admitted. Plus that hospital is where my cardiologist works out of. It just made sense.

    We get there around 11:30 or 12:00.

    First the nurse really annoyed me. He asked me what brought me in (told him my doctor sent me) and then asked me if I had any chest pain. I told him I've never had chest pain. That I was having angina. Told them about the 3 nitro then the 3 more nitro I took this morning and that it helped..that it was coming back, but it wasn't as bad. He gives me this lecture. Very condescending. Asks me where my heart is. Goes on to say that the heart is in the chest so when they ask about chest pain it's just the words they use to mean angina. I told him that I know that *now* since I've had a heart attack, however I didn't know that for the 4 years BEFORE my heart attack which is probably why no one ever looked at my heart. All anyone ever asked me was if I had chest pain and the answer is no. Even when I had a heart attack my pain was in the upper part of my chest starting in the hollow of my throat. Told him they should be more specific because someone that has never had a heart attack might not know (recent study shows 1 in 4 ppl don't know the warning signs). Not a good start. He was too busy being right. Whatever.

    Then they have firefighter/medic trainees do my IV. I didn't mind that part....IV's, blood draws, etc don't bother me. It's just that he brought these 4 men in while he's hooking me up for an EKG. Sigh. Nothing like being exposed for all the world to see. (Actually the trainee did a better job on my IV than most of the nurses have. I always want them in my hand. Otherwise I pinch them when I fold my arm and set the alarm on the machine off. Plus I just find it more comfortable in my hand.) They draw a bunch of blood. When I asked the nurse what they were checking for he talks to me like I'm 5 years old. I don't want to know general things. I want to know what tests you're running. I'm not stupid. Then he puts the oxygen thingy in my nose. I asked him if it was necessary because they've always told me before that it's for my comfort but that I didn't have to have it. He told me that oxygen is very important for the brain and the kidneys...again like I'm 5. I asked him if my oxygen level was low. He said yes. I asked him where it was. He told me 96. I told him that was all I wanted to know.

    He comes back later to check on me. Making cracks about me not being such a good patient. Then he asked my mom if she was my mom doing the guy flirting thing (my mom looks more like she should be my sister) and I told him that she was waaaaay nicer than I am. :devil: I then told the nurse that I had to pee and asked if I was allowed to get up or what - if they think you might be having a heart attack you're not allowed to get up. He said he would have to check and asked how bad I have to go. I told him that when I have to go, I have to go. I stopped by the restroom before checking in at the ER. However, I cannot hold it. When I have to go that's all there is to it. That's another problem I've been having for the past few years that is just getting progressively worse. He leaves.

    I wait 30 minutes and push the call button. I was literally afraid I was going to wet the bed. Another nurse comes in and lets me pee. Then tells me she has some pain medications for me. She brought in morphine. I was a bit surprised because by now the blood tests were back and nothing indicating a heart attack...the EKG was fine and so was the chest x-ray. They give morphine to patients with chest pain because it's a pain killer, but also because it opens up the blood vessels in the heart. I hadn't asked for pain medications. My angina was relatively mild when I went in. But, the nitro patch was giving me a horrible headache and since it does dilate the blood vessels...fine. I've had morphine 4 or 5 other times during all of this heart stuff. It really doesn't do much for my heart pain. She also tells me they're going to do a chest CT to check the pulmonary artery.

    So, she starts pushing the morphine. About half way in my hand started to really itch around the IV. She explained that was the morphine. Then it was like all the muscles in my body seized up. Hard. It hurt so bad. And she pushed the rest of the morphine. The ER doctor comes in and I'm in the fetal position groaning because it hurts so bad and I'm grabbing my head because it felt like it was going to explode and the ER doctor starts talking. I figured he was talking to the nurse. My mom was focused on me, but she was the only one. Apparently the ER doctor was talking to me. :surprise: I was lost inside my own agony and my mom was focused on me. We have no idea what he said. Then he left the room! And he never came back. By this time the pain was starting to settle, but a rash was running up my arm and I wanted to take my skin off. Then the nurse left! We had to hit the call button! She came back and pushed some benadryl. Apparently they then decided to cancel the CT in case I reacted to the contrast like I did the morphine. Hence, why I'm so loopy. This was around 2:30 today. It's now 7:30.

    And it just gets better. The doctor from my cardiology group comes in. I found out later he was only a resident. He was too busy talking to hear anything. He would cut you off and start talking. Then he asked me how my mood has been; says that patients with neurological and/or psychiatric disorders tend to be more sensitive to pain. I heard my mother groan out loud. That's when I went off. I told him that I had a history of depression, but that's exactly what it was. A history. Told him that depression does not cause swelling, fever, a positive ANA, an elevated sed rate, a severely deficient vitamin D and it certainly didn't cause my white blood cell count that they checked today to come back elevated. I told him if he had to live for one week with the amount of pain I deal with every day he would be begging for mercy. My mom tried to talk to him and she had to ask him at least 4 times, "Will you let me finish?" He wanted me to stay until Monday and they *might* do some more tests on Monday. I told him I was going home; that there was nothing showing me I needed to stay and I could do tests outpatient. That I have 2 kids at home, 4 pets and my mother's husband is blind so she has to be there for him. It was like I wasn't even talking.

    He left and I paged the nurse and told her to unhook me. She told me I would have to sign out AMA. I told her fine; I didn't care. They ended up discharging me anyway after the resident talked to his attending. It was yet a different nurse who discharged me and she told me that the other nurse told her that I had a reaction to the nausea medication. How they could determine that when it was one injection - they mixed the morphine and the nausea medication - is beyond me. She also told the discharging nurse that I didn't have a rash or anything. I guess my mom and I were seeing things.

    I didn't want to go to begin with. I knew it was going to be an exercise in futility. I've been down this road. I was wrong, though. It was worse. And this is one of the top rated heart hospitals in the country. It's listed on womenheart.org's list of top heart hospitals. They have billboards on the freeway touting their rating.

    They weren't interested in hearing my medical history. They were completely dependent on tests. Tests which, by the way, are proven to be less accurate for women than men. Tests that showed a normal EKG when I was having a heart attack and another test that showed only one elevated enzyme when I was having a heart attack and ended up with 4 stents. They want me to have an outpatient stress test. I'm not doing it. Stress tests are only accurate 80% of the time in women and I've already had one false positive. I know my body. I know when I need to go to the hospital. I will never let anyone talk me into going again unless *I* think I need to go.

    If you got it this far, you deserve a medal. I'm so frustrated and completely disillusioned with our medical community. And I'm soooo loopy still, although I think it's more from the benadryl than the morphine. (Can you say, lightweight?)

    I need a hug.
  2. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    Aw Heather,

    Sending many gentle hugs to you. :( I have so little trust in docs...not a good thing I guess but I have had several BAD experiences with loved ones. :(

    Stay down and get better.

  3. Josie

    Josie Active Member


    What a terrible experience.
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Oh, {{{Heather}}}. I am so sorry for this horrid experience! They were just awful. It sounds like their rating has gone to the their heads and perhaps some people need to hear otherwise.

    Perhaps when you've settled down a bit, you can draft up a letter of complaint against the hospital, cc the womenheart.org, the president of the the hospital, your insurance company, your primary physician, everyone you can think of. If no one speaks out, they will just continue on as is.

    My God, I'm glad you're relatively okay but what they did to you is criminal - not just the poor bedside manner, but the treatment, the diagnosis and the medications like morphine, etc. What liars they were. I am sitting her shaking my head in wonder. How appalling!

    Sending you lots and lots of gentle hugs~
  5. Steely

    Steely Active Member


    There are no words for how angry I feel for you right now! OMG! It is a good thing I was not there with you! Holy Moly - the whole hospital might have had to take cover with the 2 of us. Bad medical care is my pet peeve times a thousand. Maybe a million.:furious:

    Hang in there! Ugh. I don't know what else to say!

    Sending 800 hugs - and more.
  6. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Here is {10}{hugs} X {10} {hugs}. I feel your pain and can empathize! I have been there done that and ended up doing exactly what you are. Refusing to do anything unless *I* know it needs to be done or feel it needs to be done. Same thing with "good" hospitals or facilities. Doctors are not gods, they are humans that sometimes think they are (or act like they are) but ones without ears!

    I hope things get better for you somehow or at least you can gain your strength (better center) for yourself. It does get disconcerting after awhile I know. Hang in there as best ya can. {another hug for good cause}
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    ((((((((((( Hugs)))))))))))))

    What you just described, that right there, is the reason I panic when I'm admitted.

    And I've had it happen more than once. Add that to spending 95 percent of 18 months as a hospital patient.........:stopglass: Small wonder I'm skiddish.

    And I refuse to tolerate being talked to like a 5 yr old. I usually say something nasty if they start that. Actually, all it takes is to reel off the name of one of my kidney diseases. lol I know docs who have trouble saying it.

    I'm so very sorry you were treated like that. Did you get your enzyme results before you left? I know you don't think it was a serious heart thing but prednisone effects other systems with prolonged use if I recall.

    Your reaction to morphine/phenogrin (sp) sounds similar to mine with demerol. Only instead of rash and pain.......my heart began to race and BiPolar (BP) skyrocketed. And I'd been using it on and off for like 6 months just fine.

    Sending extra ((((((hugs)))))))
  8. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Mental illness? Decreased mental capacity? You're a Mom! Of course you have those!

    What a tool!

    Sending hugs, sleep, a bigger bladder WITH stronger muscles!

    Feel better, you really needed this like you needed a hole in the head!

  9. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    (heather) (heather) (heather) (heather) (heather) (heather) (heather) (heather) (heather) (heather)

    There's my 10 hugs. I'm surprised you or your mom didn't have a serious temper tantrum and end up hitting someone. I think I would have. Sometimes I hate the arrogance of doctors, especially residents. They just haven't learned how fallible they are, yet. grrrrr

    I'm so very sorry you went through all of this.

    Just in case 10 isn't enough .....

  10. ML

    ML Guest

    10 hugs for you. I'm just so sorry you had to go through all that honey.xoxoxo hugs h
  11. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Sad experience, but too often happening.

    I had a chuckle as today I had to go do a drug test for a new job (yet another). I drank two liters of water on the way because the worse thing is getting there and you can't produce. You have 3 minutes or it's over. So, I'm throughly saturated when I arrive...2 hour wait. Now, being 47, that is a long time to hold 2 liters. When they finally brought me back, I nearly ran for the restroom. She's looking at me like...what the heck is going on?:tongue:

  12. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Heather, If If could give you a hug for everytime I have been there done that with SO, people would start to look at us strange (will send you one though LOL)

    A few weeks back I did the rant on taking SO to the ER as well. He couldn't walk - his left foot turned at a 45 degree angle toward the rite foot. Xray tech said ohhhhh thats why he is in so much pain after viewing the xrays and doctor would speak to us. doctor said nothing is wrong will give him a pain shot. At which point I just walked out and left him there and they finally admitted him

    After 7 hours in a wheelchair in ER, his whole left leg is turning to the right- now he can't even bend his leg. He was one week in the hospital, and saw a doctor 2 times - one ordered a scan, and its not his hip, its his knee, torn minicus (sp) gives him a shot of cortosone - at least now he can bend his knee - and a leg brace. Another comes in to tell him that his plastic hip replacement has groves worn into it, and needs to be replaced. At home, they set him up with a PT - but first they send a nurse who wants to inspect our house ???? The PT finally comes a week later and says I can't do any therapy on your knee - I will damage it more -why am I here. So yesterday we go to the knee doctor who tells him nothing is wrong with his hip, and to take the brace off cause its causing more damage (its the only thing that has kept his leg straight and its no longer veering to the right and he can actually walk a little more than he did before). And the whole problem is that is muscle is turning to bone (he thinks but he is only a knee doctor)

    And we are sitting here, as you are, saying now what. I don' know what the answer is. I see a tremendous waste of money and know why health care costs have gone thru the roof. I just wanna cringe when I see the statement from the insurance for SO's medi-cal with pages of stuff for things that were unnecessary (although they did send a letter saying they wanted his metal walker back cause he has a wheelchair...sigh)

    They never listen, ever, to what you are saying in the ER unless its obvious like something needs to be re attached and whatever it is, its laying next to you on a tray. You are treated as someone who has an extremely low IQ and couldn't possibly understand any medical stuff. They fail to even realize there ARE some people out there who are very pro active on what the problems are and constantly search out info on the web for symptoms and possible links to something else.

    You know the TV program House? Was that just some Hollywood TV guys off the wall idea? If so, its brilliant. Why doesn't every hospital have a House with a team to toss out ideas on patients who present a problem thats not solvable. Surely to have a panel of doctors who are up to a challange doesn't seem all that hard to put together.

    And now that I have seen what I typed, I am going to do a letter this weekend to the hospital that SO has been going to for the last 10 years and suggest it. All the suffering from no, missed, bad diagnosis's is just insane.

    My 2 cents worth..

  13. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    um.....(looking around the room but not directly at you and mumbles) Soooo what does my medal look like?

    Good grief kid - you're the one that deserves the medal. Mostly for not smacking Dr. Smart @$$ right in the kisser. I swear I would have looked at him and said HEY MORON - the BEDside manner I need is OVER HERE (point to self) and NOT at my Mother. eesch.

    I too have a young looking Mom - it's a curse really.

    I am sorry you have to go through any of this - My thoughts, hugs and well wishes are with you - and I'm sending you the pink, fuzzy friendship blanket. Everyone has signed it - it's lovely.

    Feel better !!!!!!!
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Oh - sorry almost forgot what you asked for. I'm as bad as the nurse. hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug. hug. hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug,

    That should hold you a little while. :D
  15. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Yeah and people look at me like I am an idiot when I say I will not go to the ER... Why? Because Of stories like you just went through... I have had that happen to me... with my migraines. And have heard too many people with similar stories.

    Hugs,hugs, hugs, hugs,hugs,hugs,hugs,hugs,hugs and more hugs!!!!
  16. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sending a big batch of hugs.

    I usually have a hissy when medical care is like that. They hate me at the ER because the PA is incompetent. He thinks benadryl fixes everything - migraines, heart racing uncontrollably, broken/sprained anything - you get benadryl. Then I start demanding the doctor in charge, and hte head of the hospital.

    They are lucky you felt too badly to go into warrior mom mode. I hate docs like that. Write a complaint and send it to every organization. And refuse to pay the bill because the care was incompetent.


  17. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    (Hugs) for your pain and frustration. If your doctor said you needed to go to the hospital, then that is exactly what you should have done. My advice to everyone is to always take someone with you to the ER. Ideally, someone who is articulate, unemotional, authoritative yet kind...someone who could win an Academy Award on a momen'Tourette's Syndrome notice! LMBO! (Forgive me...I just cracked myself up!)

    ER folks and medical folks in general, just seem of late to be jaded. This might be due to being overworked and overtired. Nevertheless, someone in pain and someone overtired and "edgy" doesn't make for good choices or good conversations. Always have a few people in mind to be your voice in these situations. (This is what I do).
  18. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Freshly baked hugs. A few dozen.

    I swear, it's like you are just a number.

    You are right. They don't care what you say, they don't want to hear your history, and God forbid if you argue. They cannot be wrong.

    What a knob.

    I seriously hope you are feeling better.
  19. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member


    What a dreadful experience. I'm not surprised you need the hugs. I sympathise with you because the surgeon I went to for my neck operation turned out to be an arrogant so-and-so, who didn't like answering even the simplest question.

    Here you are -- I'm sending you some special hugs. They taste of strawberry ice cream and lemon ice cream, because I have just made an enormous amount of both for my son's workers restaurant that he runs. It's the first time I've done it but we thought it might attract more diners.

    So, here is a strawberry hug, and here's a lemon one. I made a lot, so you can have five of each and that makes ten.

    Love, Esther
  20. Jena

    Jena New Member

    oh my

    i'm so so sorry you had to go through all of this torture.

    your getting ((( 100 ))) hugs from me.

    thinking of you tongiht hoping you get some rest.