BusynMember
Well-Known Member
I seem to do better handling my difficult children than my PCs and I get so upset when they are upset.
Jumper broke up with her boyfriend. I don't know why. In case you're thinking "Oh, big deal. She'll be with someone else tomorrow" she isn't like that. She is mature, not at all boy crazy and the worst part is he is such a good kid and he was her best friend. She was always with him. I have no idea why she did it. she has gone silent, as she does when she is sad and upset. I am already in catastrophic mode about how she will find the bad kids at college now that this boy is no longer there to be her best influence. She told me it is not about sex and that's all she said. I know they haven't had sex so I asked if he pushed her and she gave me a look and said, "No" calmly. First I asked her if she broke up with him because she was going away to college and she sort of nodded "yes" then "no."
She is very quiet. It is very eerie. I am very scared, but I know I can't keep pumping her for details. I remember how badly she took it when Joe broke up with her and HE was a jerk. This boy was the one who befriended her and brought her back to life. Jumper is very introspective and private and that frightens me more than when 36 screams about suicide. Not that I expect her to do that, but it is hard to watch her just sitting there, not talking, not doing anything, just being sad.
I'm not stupid. She is going to school in almost all white LaCrosse WI. It is not going to be easy for her to find another guy who will not only like her romantically, but be her best friend too. At any rate, I doubt she'll ever find anyone who she connects with this way again, female friend or male boyfriend. This incident comes days after I listened to a show on NPR about how asian girls are the most coveted by all races of men and black women are at the bottom. Not that I didn't know this, but that just makes it harder for ME. Jumper doesn't know about the study and I'm not going to tell her.
I don't know how to apply what I do with my difficult child to Jumper. I tend to ache with my kids.
Jumper's graduation party is coming up then she leaves for college. But it's a smaller, tech college.
Today...I just wish I'd chosen not to have children. I get too involved in their emotions. I wish I could be one of those moms who just didn't care and let them just go through the normal stuff. But, although I'm not going to bother her, inside I am crying for her and wondering why she did it. And wondering if there is anything I can do to cheer her up. She turned down going out for ice cream.
Honestly, what made me think I could handle a teen when I was sixty years old??????? LOLOL.
Oh, boy. Well, could use some good advice. We talk about our difficult children all the time because they put themselves in so much danger and drive us so crazy. But our PCs must have problems too at times and they aren't always as strong as we sometimes think they are.
Jumper broke up with her boyfriend. I don't know why. In case you're thinking "Oh, big deal. She'll be with someone else tomorrow" she isn't like that. She is mature, not at all boy crazy and the worst part is he is such a good kid and he was her best friend. She was always with him. I have no idea why she did it. she has gone silent, as she does when she is sad and upset. I am already in catastrophic mode about how she will find the bad kids at college now that this boy is no longer there to be her best influence. She told me it is not about sex and that's all she said. I know they haven't had sex so I asked if he pushed her and she gave me a look and said, "No" calmly. First I asked her if she broke up with him because she was going away to college and she sort of nodded "yes" then "no."
She is very quiet. It is very eerie. I am very scared, but I know I can't keep pumping her for details. I remember how badly she took it when Joe broke up with her and HE was a jerk. This boy was the one who befriended her and brought her back to life. Jumper is very introspective and private and that frightens me more than when 36 screams about suicide. Not that I expect her to do that, but it is hard to watch her just sitting there, not talking, not doing anything, just being sad.
I'm not stupid. She is going to school in almost all white LaCrosse WI. It is not going to be easy for her to find another guy who will not only like her romantically, but be her best friend too. At any rate, I doubt she'll ever find anyone who she connects with this way again, female friend or male boyfriend. This incident comes days after I listened to a show on NPR about how asian girls are the most coveted by all races of men and black women are at the bottom. Not that I didn't know this, but that just makes it harder for ME. Jumper doesn't know about the study and I'm not going to tell her.
I don't know how to apply what I do with my difficult child to Jumper. I tend to ache with my kids.
Jumper's graduation party is coming up then she leaves for college. But it's a smaller, tech college.
Today...I just wish I'd chosen not to have children. I get too involved in their emotions. I wish I could be one of those moms who just didn't care and let them just go through the normal stuff. But, although I'm not going to bother her, inside I am crying for her and wondering why she did it. And wondering if there is anything I can do to cheer her up. She turned down going out for ice cream.
Honestly, what made me think I could handle a teen when I was sixty years old??????? LOLOL.
Oh, boy. Well, could use some good advice. We talk about our difficult children all the time because they put themselves in so much danger and drive us so crazy. But our PCs must have problems too at times and they aren't always as strong as we sometimes think they are.