B
bran155
Guest
Hello everyone. I hope all is well in the beginnings of 2009 for all.
I have spoken to my daughter twice since she has been in jail. The first time was nothing but screaming and once again no accountability on her part of course. It's still my fault. I, of course expected that. The second conversation was much better. She did accept responsibility for some of the hell she has caused. But her punching me in the face is still my fault!!! Shocker!!! She sounded okay, not afraid and seems to be adjusting fine. She asked me to visit her, I told her I was not ready. She wants me to come to court with the bail money, $5,000, yeah okay, I'm on my way. She told me to just put it on the debit card. She is so naive, she still doesn't realize that you must have money in your account to do so. She doesn't know what a bench warrant is, she doesn't know what it means to be a "flight risk" and she doesn't even know what the word incarceration means!!! She has no business living in this "thug" world she is living in. She is so tough on the outside, yet she has this sad innocence about her. Ironic!!!
My sister and I have this friend whom we grew up with. She turned out to be a drug addict and was diagnosis bipolar. She has been in jail and through the Mental Health System. She has very similar behaviors to my daughter and can really relate to my daughter's experiences. She is now recovering and has been sober for 3 years. She asked me if it would be alright if she went to see my daughter in jail. She feels like she can talk to her on a different level than we can. I thought maybe that would be a good idea. So she went to see her this morning. The visit went really well. My daughter was very receptive to "J" and they talked for the entire hour long visit. I think that was even beneficial to "J", as it gave her a sense of purpose. She feels like she can help my daughter, at the very least she can be a friend to her. "J" said that my daughter looks good, she was neatly groomed and had died her hair burgandy. She said that her mood was upbeat and she was very grateful to "J" for coming. She kept on thanking her and holding her hands. "J" also left $20 on commessary (Sp?) for her to buy toiletries. My daughter was very happy about that and seemed to be genuinly thankful. Overall the visit was really good. She told "J" to tell me and my sister that she loves us. She told "J" that when she gets out she is going to live with her new boyfriend and then when she turns 18 they are going to move down south. This boyfriend is 24, has his own apartment thanks to the state of NY, he is on welfare. He apparently was a foster child and has no family. My daughter met him while "on the run", as she puts it. She says he is a really nice guy. He is a goody two shoes, her words. She says we would love him. In any event, I don't blame any other infulence for my daughter's behaviors, she is the only one responsible for her choices. He might be a good guy, he might not. Either way, she is the only one who can ever change the direction of her life. The jail put her on Geodon, 50mgs am and 50mgs pm. Not enough medications, but it's a start. "J" said that she spoke to one of the COs and he told her that when my daughter arrived she was completely freaking out, they had to put her in something like a straight jacket to calm her and keep her from hurting herself. He also told her that she is very hyper. I could just imagine, she is going to drive the staff crazy!!! Better them, then me!!!!
It just blows my mind that my daughter is able to adjust to jail, that she is not afraid. That in itself is scary. I would be petrified if I had to go to jail. Just the thought of it makes my palms sweaty!!!
Thank you to all who have been following my posts. I have read all of the responses, you guys are so great. You really have helped me get through this.
Thanks again.
Shawna
I have spoken to my daughter twice since she has been in jail. The first time was nothing but screaming and once again no accountability on her part of course. It's still my fault. I, of course expected that. The second conversation was much better. She did accept responsibility for some of the hell she has caused. But her punching me in the face is still my fault!!! Shocker!!! She sounded okay, not afraid and seems to be adjusting fine. She asked me to visit her, I told her I was not ready. She wants me to come to court with the bail money, $5,000, yeah okay, I'm on my way. She told me to just put it on the debit card. She is so naive, she still doesn't realize that you must have money in your account to do so. She doesn't know what a bench warrant is, she doesn't know what it means to be a "flight risk" and she doesn't even know what the word incarceration means!!! She has no business living in this "thug" world she is living in. She is so tough on the outside, yet she has this sad innocence about her. Ironic!!!
My sister and I have this friend whom we grew up with. She turned out to be a drug addict and was diagnosis bipolar. She has been in jail and through the Mental Health System. She has very similar behaviors to my daughter and can really relate to my daughter's experiences. She is now recovering and has been sober for 3 years. She asked me if it would be alright if she went to see my daughter in jail. She feels like she can talk to her on a different level than we can. I thought maybe that would be a good idea. So she went to see her this morning. The visit went really well. My daughter was very receptive to "J" and they talked for the entire hour long visit. I think that was even beneficial to "J", as it gave her a sense of purpose. She feels like she can help my daughter, at the very least she can be a friend to her. "J" said that my daughter looks good, she was neatly groomed and had died her hair burgandy. She said that her mood was upbeat and she was very grateful to "J" for coming. She kept on thanking her and holding her hands. "J" also left $20 on commessary (Sp?) for her to buy toiletries. My daughter was very happy about that and seemed to be genuinly thankful. Overall the visit was really good. She told "J" to tell me and my sister that she loves us. She told "J" that when she gets out she is going to live with her new boyfriend and then when she turns 18 they are going to move down south. This boyfriend is 24, has his own apartment thanks to the state of NY, he is on welfare. He apparently was a foster child and has no family. My daughter met him while "on the run", as she puts it. She says he is a really nice guy. He is a goody two shoes, her words. She says we would love him. In any event, I don't blame any other infulence for my daughter's behaviors, she is the only one responsible for her choices. He might be a good guy, he might not. Either way, she is the only one who can ever change the direction of her life. The jail put her on Geodon, 50mgs am and 50mgs pm. Not enough medications, but it's a start. "J" said that she spoke to one of the COs and he told her that when my daughter arrived she was completely freaking out, they had to put her in something like a straight jacket to calm her and keep her from hurting herself. He also told her that she is very hyper. I could just imagine, she is going to drive the staff crazy!!! Better them, then me!!!!
It just blows my mind that my daughter is able to adjust to jail, that she is not afraid. That in itself is scary. I would be petrified if I had to go to jail. Just the thought of it makes my palms sweaty!!!
Thank you to all who have been following my posts. I have read all of the responses, you guys are so great. You really have helped me get through this.
Thanks again.
Shawna