I think I must be vulnerable and whiney this month...darn it!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DDD, Jul 12, 2012.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm trying my best to avoid "stress" due to my "condition" but I swear having difficult child's brings stress even if they no longer live with you. WHINE! I worked this afternoon and came home at four to relax and, lol, avoid stress. At fifteen after four I got a call from difficult child#2's "new" Voc Rehab counselor. In a nutshell she tells me she's been unable to reach difficult child#2 (and Volunteers of America also has not heard from him) and he's in jeopardy of being "DROPPED".

    I spent almost an hour on the phone with young new counselor explaining....DUH!....that difficult child#2 has multiple disabilities which manifest in many ways including NOT remembering appts. etc. I explained that his mother, GFGmom, ALSO does not make notes on appts. etc. The whole conversation was polite and low key and literally I wanted to SCREAM...."haven't you read the blanking file and the diagnosis"...which of course I didn't say.

    I think I saved the day but I'm telling you guys that fifty years of dealing with difficult child issues is too much. I NEED my two grandsons squared away. Lord help them if they don't have an advocate. I have no idea how one is suppose to focus on "their" health when they have young adults who will not survive without support. Sorry. I know this is ANOTHER major whine. It just blows my mind that "the system" can't figure out who needs help. DDD
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I hear ya.
    School got out, then report cards.
    difficult child, who has been doing "very well this year", almost bombed on two key subjects. Fine until mid-semester.
    What happened? Nobody knows.
    You see... he was doing so well, so they assumed he was managing everything himself. NOT.
    But... HE is supposed to know when its not going well, AND know who to go for to get help, AND know the kind of help he needs. And of course... with HIS list of dxes? not going to happen.
    But that's "his fault".
    So... no help in actually teaching this kid the skills he never had a chance to learn, so he can actually earn a decent living when he gets out of school? Nope.

    Where's the nearest brick wall?
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Yeah...I think you understand. Wish you didn't have to but...alas, it goes on for a LONG LONG time. Hugs DDD
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Oh yes, I understand as well...difficult child ended up sleeping at my house last night because she hurt all over and had a major anxiety attack! She needed to be 'home', which is fine. However, if I had a quarter for every time I've gone over how important it is to take care of herself, well, you know, I'd be a millionaire. Had her take a Xanax, gave her a vicodin, made her shower and made up the bed for her. This morning it was very apparent that she had a major sinus infection...I call our allergist since he is the only one who will prescribe antibiotics for those anymore. I had to take the morning off work to go with her. When dr asks her what's wrong she says, "Everything". I literally saw him roll his eyes, lol. I prompted difficult child to list off her symptoms. Thankfully he gave her the medications and some great samples and I already had an antibiotic so she took that...grrr.

    She is not sure what prompted the anxiety attack, but just as she got it under control, a rape scene came on the tv and sent her full throttle back into it again-that's when she called me to come home. She asked me what age is too old to go home...I said you're never too old to go home. Little knucklehead. And her fiancé is so good to her. I asked him tonight why he puts up with her and he simply said, "Because I love her". Awww.

    So now I have to make the bedroom up for mother in law again. Oh well. Totally get it, DDD. We never stop worrying.
  5. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Hugs DDD To be honest, I don't think our job is "ever" done (even if its not really YOUR job to worry about this stuff in the first place) I am a big believer in reincarnation and when things get really stressful, I spend my time thinking about how nice my next life will be (I plan on comming back as a trophy wife with unlimited credit cards and if I do have kids, they will all be easy child's). LOL

  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Been dealing with it for years. Also sick and tired of it. Maybe Marcie is right and the job is never done, but by darn I could use a vacation from it for a while.

    At least it looks like for the first time in his life, Travis won't have to fight tooth and nail for something that is obvious he should get because he needs it. Gee, that only took what, 26 yrs? sheesh

  7. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I don't think you are being "whiney." In our best days, these challenges would be incredibly frustrating. Add in health issues and they are understandably intolerable. Honestly, by this time in our lives we have had ENOUGH.


  8. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with Suz, at this stage of the game, we definitely have had ENOUGH. You have earned the right to vent all you want and more, this is not whining, this is the truth and you're tired and it's time to focus on you. HUGS.
  9. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I don't think you're being whiney at all. That most of us are vulnerable goes without question. It goes with the territory, and you have and continue to fight the good fight.

    That being said, I'm going to take this moment to be Little Miss Pollyanna. This song got me through many days when it felt as if I just kept rear-ending the manure truck. It's hokey and simplistic, but it can't hurt.


  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Witz, thanks for sharing. I have to admit it made me smile as I'm not really a "hokey or country" music kind of gal. on the other hand, lol, it was more upbeat than listening to same rap song encouraging my lifelong buried violent side to come forward. :bigsmile:
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh DDD, you know I understand. I was in my bed on Wednesday with the lights out and a towel over my head because I was so sick everything was making me nauseated and Cory was calling me because his disability was messed up and they wouldnt talk to him without me calling first. UGH! He didnt have the local number either so he had to have me give him the number and I was so sick I couldnt even remember where I had it or how to look back on my phone to find it! My mind wasnt working that well. I didnt know how to work my phone anymore. Thats how sick I am right now. He kept calling me. Finally he gave up on me and called 411 to get the number and had her call me...lol.

    I think his workers are better than yours though. They seem to have a brain and work with him or us. They know I am disabled and cant handle coming in and that really he shouldnt need me on his case anymore.
  12. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    DDD, Not whiney just tired and sick; and sick and tired. Truly it is more than understandable. I too wonder what will happen to my sons when I am not around but honestly there's not alot to be done about it. I plugged them in, keep easy child/difficult child organized, fed, his bills paid. advocate for him, explain things to him, try to teach him how to do things and make things as simple as posible for him. But at some point I will not be here and noone seems willing to step up after I am gone. Nothing I can do but continue to try and teach him to manage on his own...sigh as for difficult child#2 well here we are making end of life decisions for my father in law who we just put into Hospice and disconected from life support, and difficult child is having a panic attack and calling me. He was hyperventalating and being driven to the hospital by a friend when all he neded was to breathe into a paper bag and get busy finding a job and a place to stay. UG!

    Vent away my friend you deserve to rest and take care of youself. -RM
  13. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What the rest of the world really needs to get through their noggins is that moms hold the homes together no matter what is going on and no matter how badly things are going for the moms. It seems nothing can get done without the moms.

    If you take me out of the equation, my family cant even figure out how to pay the monthly bills, when they are due or even who we pay them to! Our finances go to hell in a handbasket if something happens to me. I have tried sending alerts to Tony's phone to tell him when bills are due but he just ignores them. Oh...that? I thought it was a reminder. EGADS!!!! Yes...those pesky monthly bills...lol.
  14. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    DDD never would I consider that a whine at all. You are telling it like it is! There SHOULD be an advocate to help for sure. You SHOULDN'T have to be doing this now at all. As everyone else has said, it seems like our jobs are not done. I may not be in the ranks of age as some of you with the kids ages or my own but I think all the time about what will happen to my own kids if something should happen to me since it is a very very REAL thing at this time. There is NOT one person who knows or can handle anything for or with them, nor is there anywhere for them to go either.

    I watched the series on Showtime called "Big C". I can't recommend it enough. It was far different then I thought it would be and would recommend it to anyone. It is extremely uplifting in many ways on a variety of things.

    Vent away my dear! That's what we're here for. ;) {hugs}