I was going to keep this quiet

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by mstang67chic, Nov 2, 2009.

  1. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    ....and still will in real life. But....I have the overwhelming need to spill the beans so who better to spill to than you guys?

    As you can probably figure out by my signature, husband and I have some fertility issues. We've never figured out 100% what the problem was although we know it lays with me. I was told that I'm a smorgasboard of reasons why I never got pregnant. We tried for some years but never had the money to really delve into the fertility treatments. I had a couple of surgeries to take care of a couple of things and did a couple of rounds of Clomid (to stimulate ovulation) but the minor stuff didn't work. We just didn't have the money to move up to the heavier duty stuff.

    Last week, husband was looking over new insurance for work. They are switching companies after the first of the year so we have to pick out plans again. Turns out this new insurance has somewhat decent fertility coverage.

    So...I had some thinking to do. Am I up to doing this again....am I up to starting over at my age...am I up to dealing with the emotions if it doesn't work? I mulled it over, thought it out, texted some friends for advice and.............

    We're going to try one last time for a baby!

    It won't be till after the first of the year and I don't know what we'll be doing yet. I haven't even really looked at the plan much more than to sign up. I'm excited but there is terror mixed in also. Mostly for if it doesn't work but at the same time, at least we tried.

    I told husband that if it doesn't work, he and I are taking a restorative vacation and then adopting again. I want a baby that's part of the two of us but just like before....we can always adopt. At least this time we'll know what to look for, what questions to ask and how to read between the lines.

    I'm just not planning on telling people around here. Last time I got a lot of well meaning people asking constantly how things were going and telling me to hang in there...if it's meant to be it will happen. Not really the things I needed to hear, Know what I mean?? A couple of close friends know here and that's it. But, like I said....I had to spill to you guys! In my "need help" post, I mentioned that I have a physical reminder I'm carrying around to remind me why I'm quitting smoking. It's a rubber duckie that I've got in my purse. ;)

    So....that's the scoop. I'm working on the smoking, then the weight and getting in a bit better shape. Once the insurance kicks in....we'll keep our fingers crossed.
  2. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Keeping fingers crossed and sending fertile vibes and many well wishes.

  3. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    You know, if this works - and I sincerely hope it does - I'm going to have to call you Myrtle.

    We had a cat when I was little named Myrtle. Until Myrtle had kittens, proving she was, in fact, a female (my dad was really bad at discerning gender). Then she became Fertile Myrtle. When I was typing the last post, it popped in my head. And now it's stuck in there.

    Looking forward to being able to call you Myrtle. :D
  4. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Sending you lots of good wishes. It's exciting and scary.
  5. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Best wishes! I hope what is best for you both happens as it should.

    husband and I went through this when we were in our twenties. As it turns out, he was very fertile, the problem was that I, like you, had a combination of disorders that rendered me sterile.

    We lived in Germany at the time and looked into IVF, but at that time they implanted four embryos and German law didn't allow for selective termination (plus, I always wondered how you chose which one to terminate)

    When I got back to the states I discovered that there were corrective surgeries that might've been able to help me if done with artificial insemination from husband. At that time, the fertility specialist we were working with also found that both husband and I carried a lethal genetic disorder--any child we concieved would've had a fifty percent chance of having the disorder.

    It had been quite a few years. I was getting my career off the ground stateside. husband was in school and working part time. Plus, we'd gotten used to not having children and really doubted if we'd be able to handle the demands a child would make on our lifestyle.

    We were afraid we'd resent the child on some level. We honestly belived that no matter how good one is at 'faking it', children pick up on resentment and it can damage them very badly.

    We chose to be childfree and lived a happy life together for many years.
  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Well, what a wonderful *secret.* Thanks so much for sharing it with us. I promise not to bug you tooooo much. :D

  7. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    My daughter and sister in law went through the same thing. They tried for four years and nothing! She was going to her regular OB/Gyn who tried a few medications, etc., still nothing. and he finally referred them to a fertility specialist. And after all those years of not knowing what was wrong, the specialist quickly determined that both of her tubes were completely blocked, probably a result of the ovarian cysts she had as a teenager. One side was filled with fluid and scar tissue and couldn't be salvaged so he tied that side off to prevent an accidental tubal pregnancy. With the other side though, they were able to surgically remove the scar tissue and some endometriosis tissue and clear that side. After her surgery (in the doctors office) they made her an appointment for a recheck a few weeks later and she was already pregnant when she went for her recheck! And last May 1st she gave birth to their first child at age 33. I think she's regretting now that they waited so long to get help, and also that she didn't go to the specialist sooner. Her regular OB/Gyn had put her on Clomid for six months which did her no good with both tubes blocked and it wasted six months!

    They can work miracles these days though and there aren't too many obstacles they can't overcome one way or another! They did have to pay out of pocket for some of her testing. But with her surgery, because they did find a bit of endometriosis, the specialist put her diagnosis down as "Endometriosis" and her insurance paid for it! Had he submitted it that the surgery was done for fertility reasons, the insurance would NOT have paid. If I were you, I would go right to the specialist.

    I'm so excited for you! Fingers crossed that it works out for you!
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2009
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Wow! Fingers crossed that things work out.

    Your rubber duckie in your purse reminds me of a story from one of Linda Ellerbee's books. She had a stuffed duck that she rubbed on the top of the head before each broadcast so all would be well.
  9. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Wow....SIX months of Clomid? I think I did two and once the doctor knew I WAS ovulating and still didn't get pregnant, he discontinued it.

    I already know I have endometriosis (that's part of the smorgasboard) and have had a lapro and some lasering done. But...when the doctor did the lapro, he also did a hysterscope (?) and checked my tubes. At the time (about 11 years ago I think) everything was clear and open. He did say that one of my tubes or ovaries...I forget which, was a teensy bit lower than the other but it shouldn't be a problem. (Side note to that....did you know that it is possible for a doctor to touch your ovaries WITHOUT making an incision? I had no clue until that particular exam.) But he lasered some of the worst of the endo and I also had shots that put me into a temporary menopause thereby killing off some of the endo. I still have it and it's gradually gotten a bit worse since the treatment but it's still not as bad as it was before I had it treated.

    The last time I saw a specialist, he recommended a series of shots to, if I remember right, boost my egg release. The name of the drug escapes me but it's the one that causes all of the litters. When he said it, I must have had a look on my face because he kind of chuckled and said that people only have litters because the doctor's don't monitor them closely enough. The way he described it, I would give myself a shot daily for about 5 days and would have daily or every other day sonograms to count folicles. That way if there was a really high amount, I could stay waaaaaaay away from husband but if there was an acceptable amount, we could stay in the same room together. ;)

    I'll just have to do some reading of the policy, find a good doctor and see what our options are for the smorgasboard. LOL

    Thanks for the well wishes! Hopefully I'll be able to make you all board aunties again! (Think PINK!!!!) And is it sad that I've had names picked out for years??? LOL
  10. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Ktmom...I have to be careful with the duckie. It squeaks and Chester thinks it's a chew toy! LOL
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Fingers crossed and prayers being said. Very exciting.
  12. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Before my daughter started going to the specialist, I asked her if she was not afraid of having a 'litter'. She's a nurse. She said the majority of the time, if there are multiples, it's twins. The 'litters' are very, very rare - that's why when it does happen, it makes the papers.
  13. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I'm thrilled that I was one of the people who got a text! I was in the grocery store at the time. I about dropped everything I was carrying. I'm really excited, and a bit jealous - but only a bit. Always wanted one of my own, until I spent 6 years with these two. I love them. But - no more.

    There is that and my history, but you know what? After meeting you in Cleveland, talking to you, texting - you're a great mom. And so I am sending you every little bit of fertile vibe I can pull. I so want you to have this!
  14. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Sending good wishes and good vibes your way.
    Thanks for sharing with us. This is so exciting!
  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I will definitely think pink and save all the 3T's...lmao. If its a boy...is Scott in there anywhere?
  16. SRL

    SRL Active Member

  17. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    SRL! OMG! :redface:
  18. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Don't know how I missed this, 'Stang. Congrats & keeping fingers crossed for you & husband.

    I feel privileged that you would share this with us. You know we all love you & will be keeping you in our prayers that this is "the one".
  19. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    SRL!! :rofl:

    Many vibes being sent your way- that's almost all it took me to get pregnant. LOL!

    I think the rubbie duckie is a very cute idea. I hope this works well for you- it seems the docs have come a long way in helping fertility issues over the past ten years. Keep us updated!
  20. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    SRL...lol. All it took for me was Tony taking his pants off in the same room which is why we opted for me to get my tubes tied at age 23! I would have had 10 kids if I hadnt done that.