Hi Defiant, thank you for making contact. My son, 24, currently estranged from me, sounds like he has a similar profile to you, though of course everyone is an individuaI with unique experiences. I agree we parents can create or exacerbate the problem, the difficulty arises because we don't know we are creating a problem, we just muddle along and do our best. Then, 'Houston we have a problem' and it is not necessarily the child's nor the parents' fault. It just is, and we have to deal with it using a whole new skillset from the ones we were using when our kids were small - not helping, rescuing, providing solutions, but supporting, listening, and giving space for the young adult to deal with setbacks on their own. I'm also sure that no-one on this site would advocate strict discipline to help with their difficulties with their children. I'd like to ask you if you are still in contact with your parents, and what you feel is the best approach to make peace with parents who you might feel angry towards? If we are the problem, how can we fix ourselves?