I'm new.

[Julie SVV]

I found your site and boards the other day in desperation. I had a very bad evening with my daughter and just wanted to send her away somewhere. I began searching on the web the next day for residential treatment centers and found this website.
My husband and I have 3 children, two twin boys and a girl. Our oldest is the girl and was diagnosed at age 7 with ADHD, ODD, Anxiety Disorder and a few different phobias. Through trial and error we have found a medication that works toward treating the ADHD. The evenings and mornings though at home still are unmanagealbe and chaotic and my daughter is now 11. After 4 years of this, we are completely exhausted and have seen the toll that it has taken on my husband and I as well as our two sons. I know that many of you warrior parents have been through this all before, and so I guess right now I just needed some support and a group of people that understand what life is like with a child like this. It breaks my heart to even consider sending my daughter somewhere other than her home, but at what point does the rest of the family's needs get priority?

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

((((((Julie)))))

Welcome, you found a safe place to vent. I do not have the same issues as you, but I have a sympathetic ear. However, there are many warrior moms with tons of experience who will be responding shortly. Just wanted to offer my welcome, hugs and prayers.

PS, if you have not already, get your hands on the book The Explosive Child. Read it YESTERDAY.

 

[DDD]

Welcome aboard. As usual, sad to say, I am in a hurry but I wanted to extend a hand and say that I'm glad you found us. Before I get back to work I have two quick questions.
1. Have you tried taking her stimulant medicine to her bed before she wakes up and getting her to swallow it and a little cup of water, and then roll over and sleep until time to get up?
That method has made a HUGE difference in our mornings. Not big but HUGE..lol.
2. Have you identified when her behavior goes to H in a handbasket in the afternoon or evening? Have you asked her MD
to give you a transitional pill to help her as she weans off her
daily medicine?

I'll check in later but those are the two big issues that I have
lived through and found the answer for over the years. on the other hand, I
have no idea how to make homelife the way it is "suppose" to be!
Hugs. DDD

 

[Just keep swimming]

Julie,

Welcome to this wonderful site. You might want to do a profile/signature that will show up at the end of your posts (see mine below). Just as much info as you are comfortable with sharing. Really helps those of us, uhhh, let's just say over 40's keep everyone straight! LOL!!

Where was your daughter (difficult child) diagnosis'd? Was it through a child psychiatrist or more preferrably a Children's Hospital? I ask because my difficult child Aly sounds alot like your daughter, but docs have ruled out ADHD, she flipped out on the stimulants, even the "non-stimulant" Strattera. Evenings and mornings were a nightmare up until we finally got her on a good mood stabilizer.

Anyways, just offering a shoulder!

Hugs of welcome,
Vickie

 

[smallworld]

Julie, welcome!

Sorry for all the questions, but your answers will help us point you in the right direction:
What kind of doctor diagnosed your daughter, and what kind of doctor is treating her?
How is her anxiety being treated? What phobias does she have?
What medications/dose is she taking?
How does she do in school, both academically and with peers?
Any sensory issues (sensitivity to clothing, loud noises, food textures, for example)?
Any mental health issues or substance abuse in the family tree?
What are some of the unmanageable and chaotic issues you're dealing with?

Again, welcome. You will find a lot of support here.

 

[Julie SVV]

Thanks so much for your support. After reading through many of the postings today, I am on the way to the library tonight to get my hands on a copy of the book, The Explosive Child. Thanks

 

[Julie SVV]

Thank you so much for your support and for your suggestions. husband and I actually began trying your number 1 suggestion at the beginning of this school year and that has worked well in that she dosen't fight us anymore in the mornings, and is able to get her routine done; the problems actually result in the morning when her brothers begin to pick on her because of her inappropriate eating habits.

I will talk with her doctor about the afternoon transitional pill. The reason we originally decided against that is that it would keep her awake at night; but I think I am ready to revisit this again.

Thanks for two great ideas. If there are other parents out there that haven't tried these, I second the ideas!

 

[Julie SVV]

Thanks Vickie for the welcome and for the questions too. difficult child was originally diagnosed through the school system. This was 4 years ago and her pediatrician agreed with the diagnosis. She also has a difficult child with ADHD and prescribed the stimulant medications. Then unfortunatley last summer as we are beginning to enter the puberty stuff (age 11), difficult child flipped out and we ended up admitting her to an intensive outpatient program for youth through a psychiatric facility; she was rediagnosed by a psychiatrist and his team with ADHD, ODD and an anxiety disorder. They also looked at bipolar disorder, but this was ruled out. Since difficult child was adopted as a baby, I have little medical information on her biological family tree unfortunately. May I asked what your difficult child's diagnosis was and what type of professionals you sought out for this? Thanks so much.

I will try and figure out that signature stuff on the profile. . .I'm not the most techinical person so we will see how that goes.

 

[EB67]

>>The reason we originally decided against that is that it would keep her awake at night; but I think I am ready to revisit this again.

One thing that we have had success with is Melatonin to help with the sleep difficulties. It works very well for Seb.

 

[Beth Less Sanity]

EB67 - Sounds like you and I are in the same boat.

I'm new and I'm at my whit's end. There are moments when she's an angel....and then there are moments of TOTAL melt down for both her and I.

She is 12 and undiagnosed even though she has been to the pediatrician (very well respected in the field fo ADD and ADHD and used by the local school board) virtually every second year.

Is it just becoming a teenager....

Loosing sleep.

 

[Julie SVV]

Thanks! Our doctor has suggested melatonin at one point; but I wasn't familiar with it, so I bypassed this. I might try it though if you say you've had success with it.

 

[Julie SVV]

I can relate to the extremes of behavior; although I don't think difficult child has ever been a total angel even when she is on her medicine; but I do notice with the onset of puberty that things have escalated a bit more, so you are right, that is probably some of it. Is your difficult child on any type of medication right now? My pediatrician writes the prescription for that. I waited a long time until I officially declared her with ADHD with the school system because I didn't want her to walk around with any more labels (she already was bi-racial and adopted with white parents, and in her all white small Catholic school was looked at as different because of that.) However we have moved across town and she will be attending middle school next year in the public school system, and so one of my teacher friends strongly encouraged me to go for the official diagnosis so that she could receive special education resources if we need them. So that's what I've done, and will let you know how all that goes.
I hope some of this is helpful to you. Let's keep talking.

 

[Julie SVV]

I can relate to the extremes of behavior; although I don't think difficult child has ever been a total angel even when she is on her medicine; but I do notice with the onset of puberty that things have escalated a bit more, so you are right, that is probably some of it. Is your difficult child on any type of medication right now? My pediatrician writes the prescription for that. I waited a long time until I officially declared her with ADHD with the school system because I didn't want her to walk around with any more labels (she already was bi-racial and adopted with white parents, and in her all white small Catholic school was looked at as different because of that.) However we have moved across town and she will be attending middle school next year in the public school system, and so one of my teacher friends strongly encouraged me to go for the official diagnosis so that she could receive special education resources if we need them. So that's what I've done, and will let you know how all that goes.
I hope some of this is helpful to you. Let's keep talking.