I'm now a great grandma...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by ksm, Apr 12, 2020.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    The baby was born 4/7. DGD really grew up the last 9 months and was working at a Starbucks inside of our large grocery store. Her boyfriend...I think is even worse, if that's possible. She called us at 5:30am and told us her water broke. We told her we would head over and drive her to the hospital...50 miles away. Her doctor had said to head there if her water broke, or if her pains where 10 minutes apart.

    Well, she called right back and said not to come, it was just a bladder accident. At 9:30 she called back and said come in 20 minutes, but she sounded strained. We hurry over right then, and she was screaming at him that she was "going to have this baby with or without him" and she got in our backseat of the truck. He walked back in their house. I asked her if she wanted him to go with us, and she said yes. husband told him if he was going to get in the truck NOW.

    Head to the hospital and about 15 miles away her pain's got really strong they were coming about one minute apart. My husband called 911 and asked if we could have an escort to the hospital and The dispatch wanted us to pull over and wait for an ambulance. Our DGD wanted us to keep driving so he told dispatch and have his flashers on he would be going over the speed limit but please do not pull us over. We were going about 100 mph. Luckily, our state is flat and not much traffic on this divided highway, We get about 20 Miles down the road and it's like her labor went to a different stage she was screaming and crying and the pains are still very close together. We call 911 again from the town that were headed to and ask if they will send an ambulance to meet us. The dispatcher stayed on the line and I told him which mile markers we were at. And he let us know where the ambulance was when we saw the flashing lights we pulled over.

    The ambulance had to drive a mile past to get to an intersection they could head back towards us. The dispatcher is telling me me what to do in the meantime. I got her lie down on the backseat I had to remove her sweatpants I had to check for bleeding or if the baby was crowning. I had to get a shoestring from her tennis shoe in case she was going to deliver there and we needed to tie up the umbilical cord. Luckily the ambulance and the firetruck pulled up and took over. They got her on a gurney and in the ambulance and started an IV.

    We followed the ambulance the last 10 miles to the hospital. Because of the coronavirus my husband and I had to wait in the parking lot. The boyfriend went in with her. About 30 minutes later the ambulance personnel came out and I asked them for an update. They said she was at 9 cm. But about 30 minutes later The boyfriend texted that the doctor said she was at five. In a couple hours she had the baby. It was about three weeks early but healthy.

    The big surprise was they were told it was a baby girl five months ago but they got a shock when they had a baby boy. On the day they were to be dismissed the babies blood sugar level dropped and he was kept for an extra day for an IV with glucose. She was dismissed from the hospital that day and the baby moved to a separate room. She could stay in the room with the baby but only one parent could spend the night.

    We offered to drive up there to take her boyfriend home but he had a friend pick him up. The friend still lives at home with his Mom and stepdad. I think boyfriend and friend got drunk. The friends sister was dating a guy my DGD used to date, and for some reason boyfriend and friend beat up on him. The Dad kicked DF and stepson out of his home. Now boyfriend is letting friend stay at their low income duplex. Which after 5 days is against the lease.

    The next day, baby is jaundiced...and has to stay another day. BFs phone is not activated so he can only send/receive messages when he had wifi. She wanted us to tell him, so we drove to their place. He's not there. We left a note on his door. I guess later he got the message and road a bike to a fast food place with wifi.

    Next day, DGD calls, they hear a heart murmur, he has to have a cardiac sono or something. She says please try to find boyfriend. Drive back. Pound on windows and doors. Finally, his hung over friend opens door. Doesn't know where boyfriend is. Sigh. What a :censored2: show. Finally found him. He was on his bike and did contact her. She wanted him to come with us to take her home from hospital. He didn't want to ride with us...as I was rude to his drunk friend when I said that I hoped the baby was important enough to walk 6 blocks to wifi and contact her.

    glad he didn't come! Got DGD, she knows that this isn't going to end well. She looked like she had accepted it and not emotional. Got her and baby home. He was there, along with his friend, and I think they had been smoking weed.

    Oh, and he quit his job a week before she had the baby. He had a job interview for another job, and was so confident, he didn't return to the one he had! And of course,need didn't get the new job.

    The baby is doing well, he's about 5 1/2 pounds. Found out that she waited 5 hours at home after water broke because he got drunk and she couldn't get him up and around. Thanks for letting me vent...

    Last edited: Apr 12, 2020
  2. Kalahou

    Kalahou Active Member

    Dear Ksm.
    Very thankful your granddaughter and g-grandson came through the birth well, and both are fine and healthy.
    You are still so deeply involved with them. I think you might just have a lot to deal with yet, but as you have learned thusfar, as we take care of one day at a time, the months and years take care of themselves (in one way or another.) And we see how we made it though alright.
    I've followed your journey these pasts years, and send you best wishes.
    Thank for sharing this news of your first g-grand. Take care.
  3. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    How scary. I'm glad the new baby and your granddaughter are OK.
  4. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Well-Known Member

    I think we need a wow emoji for nights like that. Congratulations on new great grandson glad he is healthy. The boyfriend sounds irresponsible hopefully he will step up and find a way to support his son. Hope the house is in her name and she is able to kick out boyfriends friend without any trouble. She doesn't need that being a new mom. Sounds like you are very supportive.
  5. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Congratulations on your new grandson. I am glad he is healthy and she is fine.

    Prayers this works out.

    I'll say it again, she is so lucky to have you.
  6. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Wow! Congratulations on the new great-grandson (that you thought would be a great-granddaughter)!

    Well, it seems that your d/gd couldn’t have picked a worse SO if she had deliberately tried to to do it. How sad.

    What a horrible and stressful situation! And now, the boyfriend’s drinking buddy is living with them. I hope she doesn’t put up with this for long.

    How are you and your hubby doing?
  7. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member


    Thank you, AlAnon has helped me cope better, but I sometimes get my granny panties in a bunch. I just can't believe how stupid and self absorbed he is.

    It's kind of like a polite truce. It won't do DGD, as a new nursing mom, for us to cause her drama. Plus, I'm afraid she would take the brunt of it after we leave. He thinks we are prejudice (he's biracial). No, we just don't appreciate how he treats our DGD.

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  8. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Crayola13 - it was scary! I felt like I was still in shock the next 24 hours! To think that he risked her life by not being able to be coherent to go to the hospital. And us speeding, trying to get her there. I'm upset with DGD too, as she gives him too many chances.

  9. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Both their names are on the lease agreement. It is low income duplex and I don't know what it would take to get him out if there. Now that he isn't working, and she isn't because of maternity leave, I doubt they will owe rent next month. But, when he was working, their rent went from $150 to $450.

    But, he would never give her his paycheck to put towards bills. Then he would be broke in two or three days.

    She sees the writing on the wall, but I think she is scared of him, too.

  10. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    RN0441. He is healthy, but he has a heart murmur they will do another scan when he is a year old. Today he had his blood glucose checked. Thursday, he is scheduled for circumscion.

    He is a precious little one and her maternal instincts have kicked in.

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  11. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member


    She did pick the worst guy ever. This was her "first love" when she was 14 and they met at high school. I don't think I have even pointed out his worst flaws. It's been off and on since then, and she will be 20 in June.

    Where to start?

    He is still married, but not living with wife for two years. They had a premature baby, who neither one now has parental rights to. He was born with meth in his system. Her mom adopted the little boy.

    The wife had two older boys with her first husband, the youngest of which is the result of an extra marital affair with DGDs boyfriend. But the husband fought for custody of both. She has no parental rights to those two boys.

    Two years ago, one of his old girlfriend's (same time he married pregnant girlfriend) had a baby boy. She gave child his last name. This child ended up in foster care. boyfriend had a court order to be DNA tested for paternity...and he is the father. (One other man was also listed as a possibility)

    This child is 2. His mother was neglectful and the little boy tested positive for meth. Of course his mom did too. boyfriend and his mom denied that this was his child because it wasn't "biracial enough".

    There is no way that a social worker would reintegrate that child with him. His father and girlfriend are trying to get custody and get him out of foster care. They are good people.

    Last week, he got court orders for back child support. Now he's upset that he won't get his whole stimulus check. Sigh.

    And he thinks we are prejudiced! Lol. Race has nothing to do with it at all.

  12. JMom

    JMom Active Member

    Good grief, That IS a lot. Hopefully, since DGD's maternal instincts kicked in, she will kick him out. He would likely get kicked out for smoking weed, but that would put her at risk for losing the baby to CPS. I know you must be frustrated and fearful for the baby, I would be too. I'll be praying for your tiny gg-baby and DGD. I want to scoop her up myself.

    That was quite a night to remember! Surely, it has stirred something in her heart. Is this her first baby?

  13. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member


    She is bring a great mom. I know the doctor did one test (like she does on all pregnant patients) and then after baby was born snd she and baby were negative for any substances. She gave up smoking snd dies not anyone smoke in house or near baby.

    She kicked out BFs drinking buddy. But I think she's a little overwhelmed...since baby came early, and she worked up until the night before she went in to labor. Plus she had all girly things organized in baby's room, and now needs to reorganize the room.

    I try not to sound much time at her place, esp if boyfriend is home. Ksm
  14. Blindsided

    Blindsided Face the Sun

    Oh my goodness. Sad for everyone. This has been a long journey. Seems like yesterday you shared your DGD was expecting. Hopefully, her eyes are wide open. I am hoping the same for my 41 y.o. pregnant daughter. May they be able to put what's best f oi r the baby first.

    Prayerfully, Blindsided
  15. Overwhelmed1

    Overwhelmed1 Active Member

    Wow, Ksm. This is a soap drama with the father. I couldn't keep up with how many babies he has fathered. I sure hope DGD makes the best choice for her and that precious baby boy sooner rather than later.
    You are such a good grandmother and great grandmother!
    I wish we could share pics on here, I bet he is beautiful.

    God Bless.
  16. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    He is beautiful! And very content. Ksm
  17. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    So glad your great grandson is doing well.

    I really hope your granddaughter can get away from this guy. Or will even want to. I think motherhood has a way of opening ones eyes to a lot of things!

    She is young and she can turn this all around to do what's best for herself and baby.
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  18. JMom

    JMom Active Member


    How's our ggbaby? How are you?
  19. MissLulu

    MissLulu Active Member

    Congratulations on the new great-grandbaby! What an emotional time you've had. I hope you and your granddaughter are both doing okay and that the baby continues to be healthy and happy.
  20. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Wow KSM. What a travail. I am happy for you that your granddaughter/daughter is showing up. As far as the deadbeat dad, there are so many of them, my own included. I so feel for you, having to go through this. Sending prayers that the baby and Mom will continue fine, that motherhood for her will be the catalyst she needed, to focus on doing the right thing and that she will grow into the responsibility, rather than placing it on you.