Introducing Sassypants and BigBoy

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by BloodiedButUnbowed, Nov 13, 2017.

  1. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    With the saga of my stepsons coming to some level of closure, I want to at least introduce two other children who are very important to me, my niece and nephew, my sister's children. I have been an important part of their lives since birth. Both are doing well, although my niece is displaying some Difficult Child traits with the advent of puberty which are concerning to us.

    BigBoy is my eleven year old nephew who is taller than me already. He is smart and athletic, and as his nickname suggests, big for his age. He and I have always shared a special bond. He resembles me, and we share a quirky, dry sense of humor. He is intelligent and does well in school, although he is lazy and his grades could be higher. His dad has more than a few Aspie traits which have been passed down to BigBoy. He stims. although he has learned to control his flapping in public and now only does so in front of family. But socially, he has always had good friends, including a young boy he has known since two year old preschool. :) He plays football and is overall, happy and well adjusted.

    Sassypants is my eight year old niece and her nickname tells you a lot about her personality. Like her brother, she is VERY smart - she wants to be a doctor when she is older and she definitely can achieve that goal. She is hardworking and conscientious, very much UNLIKE her brother, and she is involved with a competitive dance troupe. Sadly, also unlike her brother, making and keeping friends has been difficult for her. This has surprised us because as a toddler, she made friends everywhere she went. If anything, BigBoy seemed more of a candidate for social difficulty because of his Aspie traits. But as they have grown, it's Sassypants who has encountered problems. She has not been able to establish lasting friendships and she's now entering the years when little girls are absolutely hideous to one another. Her classmates are friends one day, enemies the next.

    Sassypants is highly prone to drama. It is hard for us to know when she is truly upset and when she is acting out for what SEEMS like attention. Her histrionics seem too intense for her age.

    Most concerning for me is that Sassypants sneaks food, then disappears for a long time into the bathroom. She is overweight, bordering on obese, and eats constantly. She seems unhappy to me and I believe she is using food as self-medication. It doesn't help that her mom (my sister) is obsessed with food and weight and is frequently berating Sassypants for eating too much, lying about what she has eaten, etc.

    I love these children with all my heart. They are the closest thing I have to biological children. I wanted to introduce them because I have a feeling Sassypants will be a difficult teen, and is already displaying some behavior of worry.