I'm beginning to wonder who is crazier - husband or me!!
Lots of changes in the slsh household coming up, and the tiny part of my brain that is still sane is just repeating over and over and over "breathe", but the rest of my body is in major fight or flight mode. Constantly.
difficult child is driving. Now, considering where we were 6 years ago, when I thought I would *never* put him behind a wheel... that's something. I trust his judgement completely (!!) but worry about experience, which... well, we all had to get experience driving and there's only one way to do that, but... gosh, do I worry. His life is really pretty centered over in IN, so he's rarely home, which sane me says is good, but.... I worry, LOL. He's going for a job interview today at a casino, which I think actually would be a perfect job for him (greeter - the kid is so amazingly social and charming, always has been, but the maturity he's got now is just amazing). He's also got (I think) a job at a restaurant too. It's taken a long time and some false starts but he's getting there. I'm so incredibly proud of him, but I also know that he's going to be leaving soon, which he should, it's time, but.... I will miss him horribly.
Wee is leaving on Friday for Spain. Woke up crying this morning. Then got mad at myself for being such a wuss. He'll be gone for 10 days, it's going to be a fabulous trip, but... I worry. He's decided to start college this summer, which also I think is very good for him, but holy cow - I'm going to have 2 of my kids moving out within weeks of each other. Wee is my truly easy child kid. I watched him come downstairs this morning - first thing he does every morning, and I mean the very first thing *every* morning, is he comes and hugs me. Today he got sidetracked by a cat who was demanding affection, and I looked at him cuddling the cat and thought- what an amazing young man he is. He's quiet and quirky and very very stoic, but he is such a loving kid. He *needs* to get out and see the world and go to school, but my heart just may break when he leaves.
And then there's Diva. Sigh. Never know which Diva I'm gonna get - the pleasant one, or the typical teen to the gazillionth power, who has a real gift for cutting me to my very core with her jabs and disdain. On a positive note, she's doing really well with rehab, and even better, she *asked* to go back to therapist. Miracle. And she's already counting down the days 'til she can get her license - first one of my kids to be chomping at the bit. But ... I worry about her too. She has such lousy self-esteem, even though she is my one kid who will absolutely rule the world. Smart, talented, resilient, beautiful, but she doesn't see any of it. I know a lot of it is typical teen and hopefully will get better in the next couple of years... but before I know it, she will be leaving us too.
I always thought I'd stop worrying when I saw my kids were okay adults... but it's not going to work out that way.
And I sit here alternating between tears and sheer panic and then being really ticked because I'm such a mess, LOL. Yep, I bet husband is *really* looking forward to our "golden" years.
Lots of changes in the slsh household coming up, and the tiny part of my brain that is still sane is just repeating over and over and over "breathe", but the rest of my body is in major fight or flight mode. Constantly.
difficult child is driving. Now, considering where we were 6 years ago, when I thought I would *never* put him behind a wheel... that's something. I trust his judgement completely (!!) but worry about experience, which... well, we all had to get experience driving and there's only one way to do that, but... gosh, do I worry. His life is really pretty centered over in IN, so he's rarely home, which sane me says is good, but.... I worry, LOL. He's going for a job interview today at a casino, which I think actually would be a perfect job for him (greeter - the kid is so amazingly social and charming, always has been, but the maturity he's got now is just amazing). He's also got (I think) a job at a restaurant too. It's taken a long time and some false starts but he's getting there. I'm so incredibly proud of him, but I also know that he's going to be leaving soon, which he should, it's time, but.... I will miss him horribly.
Wee is leaving on Friday for Spain. Woke up crying this morning. Then got mad at myself for being such a wuss. He'll be gone for 10 days, it's going to be a fabulous trip, but... I worry. He's decided to start college this summer, which also I think is very good for him, but holy cow - I'm going to have 2 of my kids moving out within weeks of each other. Wee is my truly easy child kid. I watched him come downstairs this morning - first thing he does every morning, and I mean the very first thing *every* morning, is he comes and hugs me. Today he got sidetracked by a cat who was demanding affection, and I looked at him cuddling the cat and thought- what an amazing young man he is. He's quiet and quirky and very very stoic, but he is such a loving kid. He *needs* to get out and see the world and go to school, but my heart just may break when he leaves.
And then there's Diva. Sigh. Never know which Diva I'm gonna get - the pleasant one, or the typical teen to the gazillionth power, who has a real gift for cutting me to my very core with her jabs and disdain. On a positive note, she's doing really well with rehab, and even better, she *asked* to go back to therapist. Miracle. And she's already counting down the days 'til she can get her license - first one of my kids to be chomping at the bit. But ... I worry about her too. She has such lousy self-esteem, even though she is my one kid who will absolutely rule the world. Smart, talented, resilient, beautiful, but she doesn't see any of it. I know a lot of it is typical teen and hopefully will get better in the next couple of years... but before I know it, she will be leaving us too.
I always thought I'd stop worrying when I saw my kids were okay adults... but it's not going to work out that way.
And I sit here alternating between tears and sheer panic and then being really ticked because I'm such a mess, LOL. Yep, I bet husband is *really* looking forward to our "golden" years.