rebelson
Active Member
It's apparent that ds (difficult son) is on some type of extended 'using' binge. No idea 'what' he's using, or where the heck he is getting it from. He has no $. I think we're on week 2.
Some days, I am strong and don't dial his #. Some days (most, to be honest) I dial his # and pray it rings all the way to VM. If it rings many times then to VM, atleast I know he's likely alive as his phone is charged.
On the days that I say I'm 'strong', I am not really, as on these days I obsess and worry and then call the 3 local hospitals to rule out his name on patient roster.
This is not good for me. You all have reiterated that to me. My husband has also. I, as an RN, know this too.
Saturday after MN, I was awoken by a call from a man, on my son's phone. Son had driven himself an hour+ down to South Beach (Miami Beach) to meet a 'wealthy' & beautiful woman (who is married with-2 little kids!) who gets her hair done by son's uncle. She and some other women had a room for the night so they could party in the club of the 'Fontaine Bleau'-one of the most elegant, expensive beachfront hotels in the state. Don't know the in's and out's of the night but apparently she invited him down, paid for his car to be valet parked ($50 for the night!), she got him drunk, then he couldn't get in to the club as he was wearing 'shorts', not pants. He went to leave but the valet guys wouldn't give him his keys. Thank God. So, this guy, a bodyguard just getting off work, took son to his truck and then called me. He said he saw son repeatedly dialing my # and getting VM. He called and reached me, as I had just 'miraculously' woken up to use potty...he said he was concerned for son. Long story short, I ended up paying $150 for a cab for son to get back home. I then refused the next day, to help son get back down there to get car. He did that by himself, impressive!
Today, I spoke to son, he actually picked up. Maybe 'this' binge is coming to an end, not sure. Long story short, he told me that we were in some earlier chapters of his 'book', but the rest of his 'book' will be without us. He told me to stay out of his life, as the rest of his book will be for 'him' to write. I guess it would've been better idea for me to be an alcoholic, inattentive mother, like his father is/was? His father, who hardly ever gets Difficult Child's criticism.
Today, I gave him some last minute advice. I told him that before he ends up in jail or anything else on par with that...that he needs to STOP the crap. I told him that I highly recommend that he restart the medication he was given in June...which was for bipolar. Not sure if he's actually bipolar, but it did seem to calm him a bit. I told him that his luck will run out eventually. He told me he likes his racing thoughts and his mind and that he was not trying to be like the average American (drugged on rx). But, I guess it's ok to be drugged on elicit stuff!
Is it ok for me, to be trying to completely detach for awhile from him? I am talking completely. Not calling, not inquiring, not anything. Even perhaps blocking his #. Is this ok? Or, a horrible thing to do, as a mother? I just feel like I have to get off this bullet train that he's riding......
Some days, I am strong and don't dial his #. Some days (most, to be honest) I dial his # and pray it rings all the way to VM. If it rings many times then to VM, atleast I know he's likely alive as his phone is charged.
On the days that I say I'm 'strong', I am not really, as on these days I obsess and worry and then call the 3 local hospitals to rule out his name on patient roster.
This is not good for me. You all have reiterated that to me. My husband has also. I, as an RN, know this too.
Saturday after MN, I was awoken by a call from a man, on my son's phone. Son had driven himself an hour+ down to South Beach (Miami Beach) to meet a 'wealthy' & beautiful woman (who is married with-2 little kids!) who gets her hair done by son's uncle. She and some other women had a room for the night so they could party in the club of the 'Fontaine Bleau'-one of the most elegant, expensive beachfront hotels in the state. Don't know the in's and out's of the night but apparently she invited him down, paid for his car to be valet parked ($50 for the night!), she got him drunk, then he couldn't get in to the club as he was wearing 'shorts', not pants. He went to leave but the valet guys wouldn't give him his keys. Thank God. So, this guy, a bodyguard just getting off work, took son to his truck and then called me. He said he saw son repeatedly dialing my # and getting VM. He called and reached me, as I had just 'miraculously' woken up to use potty...he said he was concerned for son. Long story short, I ended up paying $150 for a cab for son to get back home. I then refused the next day, to help son get back down there to get car. He did that by himself, impressive!
Today, I spoke to son, he actually picked up. Maybe 'this' binge is coming to an end, not sure. Long story short, he told me that we were in some earlier chapters of his 'book', but the rest of his 'book' will be without us. He told me to stay out of his life, as the rest of his book will be for 'him' to write. I guess it would've been better idea for me to be an alcoholic, inattentive mother, like his father is/was? His father, who hardly ever gets Difficult Child's criticism.
Today, I gave him some last minute advice. I told him that before he ends up in jail or anything else on par with that...that he needs to STOP the crap. I told him that I highly recommend that he restart the medication he was given in June...which was for bipolar. Not sure if he's actually bipolar, but it did seem to calm him a bit. I told him that his luck will run out eventually. He told me he likes his racing thoughts and his mind and that he was not trying to be like the average American (drugged on rx). But, I guess it's ok to be drugged on elicit stuff!
Is it ok for me, to be trying to completely detach for awhile from him? I am talking completely. Not calling, not inquiring, not anything. Even perhaps blocking his #. Is this ok? Or, a horrible thing to do, as a mother? I just feel like I have to get off this bullet train that he's riding......