Isn't this normal?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by hearts and roses, Jan 23, 2009.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    My easy child is going to Spain with her boyfriend next week for a week. Since she gave him her share of the money, he bought the tickets on line and has the itinerary information, flights, etc. (They are staying with his sister).

    Anyway, I asked for a copy of the flight itinerary just in case and the phone number of his sister where they will be staying.

    Both easy child and her boyfriend gave me a weird look when I asked.

    Whenever I travel, whether domestically or internationally, I always print out a copy of my itinerary and leave it on the fridge - just in case.

    I would not contact easy child while she's there and don't expect to hear from her - it's not about control. It's about common sense, in my opinion.

    Even H, who normally thinks I'm paranoid, thinks it's a good idea for them to leave their itinerary with us. I was certain they would leave one with his mom/dad as well, but maybe not. Hmmm.

    Not to mention the fact that I will be the one who drops them and picks them up from the airport.

    What do you think?
  2. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    Hi Jo,
    yeah, I don't understand why this would be anything for them to "look at each other weird" about. You'd think they'd want people to know how to reach them in case of an emergency.
  3. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    I think you're being completely appropriate to ask for a copy of their itinerary. They are asking you to drive them to and from the airport. Flights get changed and times moved constantly. If you only have a flight number or pickup date and time scrawled on a piece of notepaper, you have no access to notice of changes. With an itinerary you have contact numbers or can check flight status online. Overseas flights and their connections can be delayed by many hours. Why should you drive to pick them up at the airport, only to find out that they're six hours late or won't arrive until the next day?

    Then there's the common sense thing. Your easy child needs to leave contact information with someone. There could be a death in the family (heaven forbid) or other emergency that requires you to contact her right away. It happens. Also, should anything happen in Spain such as an accident to easy child and her boyfriend, you need contact information. So no, it's not weird to ask for it. easy child and boyfriend have probably not thought of these things.
  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Yes, absolutely I would want to know their itinerary. It is common sense, not an invasion of privacy. Whenever I travel I give several people my itinerary.

  5. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    I don't think you asked for anything out of the ordinary. Good common sense if ya ask me.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Kids never think of emergency things...adults do...just part of growing up.
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Show easy child pics of that plane that went down in the Hudson last week.

    Janet's right, kids don't think about emergencies....not really until they have kids of their own.

    Get the info, put it on the frig.

  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Yes, it's normal. Falls under the heading of common sense.
  9. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    It would never have occured to me as a young adult that no one would know where I was if I disappeared while on a vacation.
    My parents had no clue. Of course, I was an independent responsible adult but I never thought of safety issues or knowing my whereabouts was a big deal when I traveled.

    I tell easy child that if something important happened(like winning the lotto) I would need to know how to contact him. : )
    I don't think it's normal for kids to think about disaster or danger.
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I NEVER leave home without a printed itinerary - and neither does anyone in my family -

    THey KNOW I'm paranoid - but they ALSO know if they are delayed? I KNOW IT TOO.

    This is just a grown up thing that 2 young kids need to deal with and get over themselves.
  11. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    This would have never occured to me either as a young adult. So, I think it's normal for it to seem odd to your easy child. I was very independent at her age. Plus, I would have taken that as "Why do you need to know where am I going to be and phone numbers?" It's like being treated like a kid again.

    Still, as a parent, I think it is perfectly normal that you want an intinerary.
  12. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Last night H and I were talking about OUR upcoming trip and I printed out the itinerary to hang on the fridge and easy child passed by so I asked for hers. She mumbled something about control and I kinda sorta flipped out on her about it NOT being about control and EVERYTHING to do with being responsible to your family and loved ones and just plain old common sense.

    She still hasn't given it to me. PITA.
  13. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    Maybe you shouldn't feel too obliged to drop off/pick up at the airport. Especially the picking up. When easy child 1 went to Beijing a couple of years ago his flight out was delayed nine hours; his flight back to Philly was eleven hours late arriving, so he missed his connection and didn't get back to his home airport until a day and a half later. I wouldn't have appreciated being in the dark about all of that. So maybe your easy child and her boyfriend could pay for taxis to and from, until they mature a little more and realize that responsible adults ALL leave itineraries with each other. :)
  14. jal

    jal Member

    I always leave contact info on the fridge for husband as I used to travel a lot for my last job and travel some for my new one.

    Many years ago after 9/11, my brother came home from CA to see everyone before he and girlfriend, now wife, were to go backpacking for 8 months to Laos, Vietnam, etc. He never did leave an itinerary with-anyone.

    On the day they were due to leave to come home from their excursion I awoke to tv reports that a plane taking off from the airport they were to depart from had gone down and there were no expected survivors. I called my parents to see if they had his flight number and they did not. When I told them about the tv reports my mother was screaming and my father was in a full out freak out. Thank G*d it was not his flight, but my brother and his girlfriend watched those people get on that plane. Their plane was the next one that boarded.

    Letting people know your itinerary is vital. It is not about control, it is about caring and respect and is especially important if one is traveling out of the country.