Okay - well here's where I think you NEED to understand something from your BIG sister.....Star.
YOU ARE A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE....
Were you beaten with a fist? NO.
Were you thrown against a wall? NO.
Have you been black and blue from molestations and rape by a domestic partner? Not that I'm aware of.
HOWEVER - THE DEFINITION OF Domestic Violence INCLUDES - MENTAL and Emotional ANGUISH on a spouse to the degree that YOU CAN NOT FUNCTION because of your partners ADDICTIONS..
I will say this much and leave you with your thoughts because your head is spinning. Right now? There IS no one that is thinking about you, your finances, your living situation, your children and their welfare ten years from now save for you. Now you can sit across from someone who looks at you at legal aid and says "well Mrs. Crazymom - you are not abused, therefore he is entitled to 1/2 of everything, and agree, or you can disagree and say "You know what Mr. Legal Aid - you have NO IDEA what it's been like living with this man who has caused me mental and emotional anguish to the point of wanting separation of my marriage vows and physical beings. IT MOST CERTAINLY IS - ABUSE. I may not have physical bruses, but I have scars, and I have emotional crud, and my kids are a wreck and I'm not sure how YOU describe domestic violence - but the national domestic violence web site? Describes THAT as domestic violence - and I DESERVE the right to
a safe body - mind a spirit
a safe home
a safe place for my children to grow up
my full retirement,
my house that I've worked for all my life
and anything else -sweat equity - that I've put into this marriage
SO if you don't think that what I've been through is DOMESTIC VIOLENCE - YOU LIVE WITH IT......for a WEEK, A MONTH A YEAR -------
I'm not JUST a disgruntal housewife..........I"M SCARED FOR THE LIVES OF MY CHILDREN AND MYSELF.........and I'm seeking divorce and property based on -----DOMESTIC VIOLENCE OF EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL CRUELTY.....
If you don't believe me - CM -------PLEASE go to a domestic violence shelter and ASK THEM - I beg you --------to find out if I"m wrong.....prove me wrong.
His addictions, his behaviors, his actions towards you and the children ----ARE domestic violence in every sense of the word and qualify you for all you're seeking. PEACE, SAFETY......SANITY.
DOn't take MY word for it - Call a DV hot line and ask ANYONE ........
Hugs ------couldn't stop thinking about you all day ---------DO NOT GIVE UP......AND DO NOT let the words DOMESTIC VIOLENCE worry you for his RUIN........there are varying degrees of DV.......he's done this to himself. It's also an ABSOLUTE way to get a judge to make sure you have custody and /or visitation with representation present for him. That way you do NOT worry about the kids when they are WITH him for a period of time as he's in recovery. When he's out of recovery ? The representation goes away ------very simple if he follows the plan.
He's certainly not thinking about ANYONE's FUTURE by hawking your antique jewelry and taking the kids' pills is he? He has a problem - you can't fix it ----you have you and the kids to worry about ----he needs to fix himself ---and whatever happens in the future happens but for now? Take care of you and the kids. And for pete's sake lock up the valuables where he can not get to them. Because my best inclination says he'll come back and look for them when you aren't home. ALL of them. He'll feel it's his right. Mine certainly thought so.
Hang in there - and go talk to that DV counselor or call anonymously on a 1800 line.