JT's ADHD and Risk-Seeking Behavior

[skeeter]

My oldest will often say his younger brother got the "smarts" but he got the common sense. My younger is highly gifted, ADD, and just doesn't THINK (or thinks too much about the wrong thing at the wrong time).
He actually chose himself to not get his drivers license until after he turned 18. His older brother gave him 2 weeks before he wrecked, he made it 2 months. Was thinking about something else and ran a red light and t-boned a car. Luckily no one was hurt.
One thing that seems to be his "saving grace" is he's worked at some type of paying job since he was 14. When he knows he has to perform, he does have the ability to concentrate. He is currently being mentored by one of the best chefs in the city and is working very long hours (over 60 a week), but he is learning an incredible amount about cooking and loves every minute of it. He chose to move into an apartment just down the street from the restaurant so that he doesn't have to pay for parking (it's downtown, and the parking fees were almost as much as his rent is). None of us have actually seen the apartment because I'm sure it's a disaster area.
I still have to "remind" him of things - and I hope he someday marries someone who is very organized that will take over that role!!! All of his bills are automatic withdrawals so he doesn't forget them. He's a great kid - he just needs "help" in some of the day to day things.

 

[WearyWoman]

marg - We'd certainly settle for the pittance, if it were available! )

susie - It's interesting you brought up the military. JT has always talked about it, but, as you said, in this time of war, it's especially dangerous. I would be worried sick. Plus, the military does not allow anyone who has used a stimulant to join, unless they have been off of it for some period of time. JT is not aware of that. We're afraid if he knew that he'd want to stop his Concerta.

midwest - I certainly haven't ruled out anything related to pre-birth alcohol/drug exposure for either of my boys. It is very hard not knowing. If they were my bio kids, I'd at least know what I consumed during pregnancy. I suspect Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) even more for our younger boy, as his birthmom was not aware she was pregnant until 4 months along. She admitted to smoking during those months, but not drinking. I believe our younger one does have some physical characteristics as well. We're in the process of getting an evaluation for it. Like your son, he has been diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), and I read a study where fetal alcohol exposure has been linked to autism. I'm shocked at the lack of resources and information about this. In this part of the country, alcoholism is rampant. I'm sure there must be a lot of affected individuals who have no idea they or someone they know even has it.

DDD - Some days I feel optimistic that JT will mature out of this kind of behavior, and on other days, I worry what could happen if he does not. He definitely slips through the cracks in terms of services, because, as I said, he is very charismatic, intelligent, good looking, athletic, funny, and outgoing. It's hard to reconcile these traits with his periodic serious lapses in judgment. Most would say he is choosing to be a risk taker, but I know in my heart of hearts that something is wrong with his executive brain functioning. He has been like this since he was a toddler. This is not a new teenage matter. It's embedded in his very person. When he was only four, he ran out of the Sunday school room at church, and we found him hanging over the second floor balcony from the choir loft! I could give you many more examples, but, as I said, he has required intense supervision from a young age for things like this. They don't happen all the time, but periodically, some big thing seems to happen.

skeeter - Yes, there is definitely a difference between "smarts" and "common sense", as you mentioned. I know exactly what you're talking about. JT is very book smart. He absorbs information like a sponge. He reads constantly. In fact, he has read entire automobile manuals, engine repair guides, and lots of stuff related to tools, ice fishing, hunting, etc. He rarely studies for tests at school, and he still manages good grades. BUT . . . ughhh . . . the stupid choices he sometimes makes! It's hard to believe he could be so smart in one way and so senseless in another. He just ought to know better, but obviously he doesn't. He truly seems unable to predict the consequences of his actions at times.

We're going to have a discussion with him this morning when he gets home from his grandparents' house out of town. I'll let you know how it goes.

Thanks everyone!

 

[DDD]

Has he ever had a complete neuro psychological evaluation? They take around eight hours and must be done by specialists in this area. They test IQ, reasoning skills etc. etc. and the results can really be enlightening. I do understand the lifelong habit of hyperness and impulsivity but, sadly, I also understand that in many schools and groups there is enforcement of "zero tolerance" with huge consequences. Even easy child's try the limits and make poor choices during adolescence but patterned behaviors do tend to escalate for teenagers. I think your wise to explore options as much as possible. Obviously you will not be able to accompany him as he matures. If consequences remove the positive reenforcements of school and sports the road becomes a land mine. Hugs. DDD

 

[WearyWoman]

DDD - No, he has never had a neuropsychologist evaluation. He was tested by a psychologist when he was 7 years old for ADHD, using a variety of tests, including a video response test. She said he was one of the most hyperactive, unfocused kids she had seen. He wasn't able to even complete the testing because he was literally in motion the whole time. Maybe we should think about an updated assessment to include a full neurological/psychological evaluation.

The zero tolerance policies are frightening for families with kids who have impulse control and executive functioning deficits. We have tried to set up either a 504 plan or IEP with the school system for JT, due to his severe ADHD, dyslexia, and problems with self regulation. However, we have never been successful for a variety of reasons, such as the fact that the school claims his problems do not impact him academically, etc. He truly is a case of falling between the cracks. He'd be better off if he had a speech/language problem or visible physical disability. The invisible kind are much harder to get any help for.

 

[pepperidge]

Just out of curiosity, how is he able to do so well in school and not even do the neuro psychiatric testing? Kind of curious.

I am a big believer in neuropsychologist testing. but if you have been fairly recently and don't think it will help him get an IEP i don't know if it is worth it. You seem to have a good handle on his behaviors and unless you think there is some underlying psychiatric problem I doubt that you will learn much that will help you get better accommodations in school. The reason to have an IEP it would seem is to try to protect him a bit if he does something really impulsive in school again. And even that kind of protection only goes so far as my understanding is that they can still expel a kid with an IEP for certain actions.

I dunno, for my money, I would try to find someone experienced with Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE). Even if he doesn't have that, it looks a whole lot like he does and you might get some leads on some resources that would help you handle the early adult years assuming he continues to be impulsive.

When you find someone like that, let me know please!

 

[WearyWoman]

pepperidge - He did well in school because he is on Concerta. He had the testing done ten years ago for ADHD, and it was after that when he was put on medication. He's been on it ever since, and it does help him focus for most of the day at school. When he gets into trouble, it's usually after school and after medications wear off. I do not think he has an underlying mood disorder. He has severe ADHD and related executive functioning problems. Whether or not he has Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE), we may never know. It's possible. If he does, it means he has brain damage, and I'm sure no medication is really going to fix that either. We know his bio mom, and she has similar impulsive behaviors, as well as anger management issues. She is lower functioning too, so she has struggled in life with all of it. I think it's possible it is genetic, to some extent. The best we can do is protect him as long as we can and help him develop life skills. I only wish he were more self aware so he could better regulate his own behavior and choices.

 

[DDD]

A complete neuro/psychiatric evaluation might help you attain the protection that comes with an IEP etc. The testing that was done at seven would not bring the same detailed results that a n/p would as a teen. It will be "up to date", give you a real comprehensive evaluation and perhaps steer you in a new supplemental direction. I strongly recommend it for your benefit. Also a specialized Teen/Adolescent Psychiatrist can be seen with test results in hand which will make the investment more valuable.

Also, it was my experience that ADHD medications needed to be reevaluated for effectiveness or at least dosage. In our family we used a supplemental "step down" dose of ADHD medication to avoid the afternoon and evening problems. Perhaps your medical professionals might opt for that method too.

Believe me I do understand your concerns and care greatly that you get the best help pronto. If what you are doing, no matter how caring, isn't working...it's time to become a Warrior Mom and seek new solutions. Hugs. DDD

 

[susiestar]

The evaluation will be a help past his high school years. With the results, and whatever IEP or 504 he has (if he has one), he can get accommodations when he goes to college. They can be minor things, like extra time on tests, or big things, but they can mean the difference between realizing a dream and thinking you just are not "able" to reach that dream. I knew a guy who was truly a genius but had some major "quirks" when I went to college. He had a person that the university paid (and paid WELL, not mimum wage!) to take notes for him. NOT just class notes - this kid could not write to save his life. His "scribe" wrote his assignments (this was before we all had computers and schools had computer labs easily available), and anything else he needed written down, including checks for his bills. Anything that came out of his mouth that needed to be written was written by this other person. It sounds bizarre, until you consider how bad some learning disabilities can be. The student worked really hard but couldn'[t overcome this and with-o this help the world would have lost out on some truly amazing ideas. I didn't really know the guy well, just was aware of the situation, so I cannot tell you much of what he invented or whatever.

This is a really extreme example taht most of us wouldn't run into. It does help as a reminder that special needs, and accommodations, don't end at the high school diploma!