How do you do this? If the alcoholic/addict sobers up and makes promises, I always "hope" they will find long-term recovery. If I let go completely and have no contact, then I also detach from active hope (it's still lingering inside of me, never to be extinguished). I am a very curious, intuitive person who is an amateur detective . . . I can be hypervigilent and look for "signs" that my loved one is "safe" or "alive." (Check Facebook to see if he's logged in . . . interpret Instagram posts and "likers" . . . it's crazy). After the most recent relapse I told him I can't see him until he has some solid recovery under his belt. He texted me and I did respond (with encouragement, as is my habit). He then called me and ask if he could have his last check sent to me and I said "yes" (didn't discuss anything else). I am normally very nosy and inquisitive . . . and have stopped that, as it never accomplished anything positive. My biggest thing is WONDERING . . . where is he? Where is he sleeping? Did he eat? Who is he associating with? Is he okay? Has he relapsed again or is he staying sober? I am trying to adopt new ideas about what I tell myself is happening, so I can have more acceptance (very philosophical things about "why we are all here," etc. I would like to hear any tips for handling letting go and "not knowing." How do you handle your curiosity and do you reach out to see if he/she is still alive or do you just wait until they contact you?