Just checking in...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by LauraH, Feb 21, 2020.

  1. LauraH

    LauraH Active Member

    To say hi and see how everyone is doing. From all indications my son continues to successfully fight his addiction. He calls me several times a day, just to say hi, chat, run things by me...not once has he asked me to do him favors, financial or otherwise. Our conversations are 99% positive, upbeat, and pleasant. Sometimes his tendency to get annoyed with me comes through but not to the point where we come to verbal blows. He calls me so much on a typical day that it sometimes gets annoying, but in a good way. Frequent calls means he's not out there doing things I wouldn't approve of. It's when he's out pursuing unhealthy activities (drugs, promiscuous sex, etc) that I don't hear from him. I'll take the multiple calls a day over that any time! :) And as far as I can tell he's finally made a clean break from the toxic ex in Chicago. He's in what appears to be a very good relationship now, although it's the early stages. My husband and I recently celebrated our fifth anniversary and went to St. Augustine for the weekend. We got to spend time with my son and also met his current partner. He seems very nice and stable. He's an assistant manager at a fast food restaurant. I have a good feeling about this one.

    He did have a little bump in the road with the death of his roommate, when her family evicted him from the house he was sharing with her. He was able to stay at a motel for a short time and is currently staying with a friend temporarily. He's been working at Steak & Shake but recently started a new job at a tiki bar kind of restaurant, which has more earning potential as far as tips. He also got some great news from the addiction center he's been enrolled in. Apparently they have a program where they will pay the first, last, and security for people in his situation looking for a place to live. After that, it's up to him to keep up his monthly rent payments, but covering the initial move-in costs is HUGE. (He will have to get his own utilities turned on, though)

    He continues going to meetings when his work schedule allows and stays involved with his care team at the addiction center. He continues to stay medication compliant with his bipolar disorder, although I wish he would pursue therapy as well. And I continue to take everything one day at a time. I can't anticipate what will happen next week or next year, but just enjoy the successes of today.
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 5
    • Like Like x 2
    • List
  2. Beta

    Beta Active Member

    LauraH, so glad to hear this encouraging report. I would be ecstatic if either of our sons called me, even once a week, just to say hi and run things by me. Wow. I'm sure it can get a little frustrating but what a blessing. Glad things are going better with him and between the two of you.
  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    So happy for you and your son Laura!

    Sounds promising for sure.

    I hope he continues on this clean and healthy path.

    Hugs and prayers!
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  4. BusynMember

    BusynMember Well-Known Member

    Oh, Laura sounds like he is really turning around,! I am so happy for you. Maybe his new romantic relationship is a good guy helping him along. I couldn't be more thrilled for you and your precious son!

    I send thanks to God!!! I
  5. LauraH

    LauraH Active Member

    It was a long hard arduous journey getting here, let me tell you. And a huge part of it was finally being able to put some emotional distance between myself and his issues. Not that I don't worry about him but I can't let it consume me. And when he has his self-made crises I don't get involved. I don't offer to help and mostly refuse to help when he asks me to. Over the last year he's been forced to stand on his own feet and deal with his own consequences. Sure I might help him out in small ways every now and again...we sent him a $50 Walmart gift card when he misplaced his foodstamps card, things like that. But that's few and far between and never again will I neglect my own emotional and financial needs to bail him out of anything. He's facing his own consequences, getting through his own rough spots, and coming up with his own solutions. Not only is that not a drain on my resources but it's empowering to him. I know he has to feel a sense of pride and achievement every time he makes a baby step in the right direction. I know I do!
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  6. Acacia

    Acacia Active Member

    So good to hear about your son's successes. It gives me hope to hear about the positive turnaround in your son. I'll keep praying for mine.
  7. WiseChoices

    WiseChoices Active Member

    I am so happy for you and your son who is working hard at having a new life. You deserve a wonderful life and so does he. Thank you for sharing your hope with us.