Now for my difficult child post. difficult child has been a major pita this weekend! I thought having only one child at home would help. Most of the day yesterday he was rude, threatening, and disrespectful. husband thought it might help him to have his friend come over as they are usually calm together. He didn't know I already had said no to difficult child and decided this when I was gone to church (he had been out shopping). I understand where husband was coming from but it isn't working out so well.
In my other post I mention that easy child /difficult child is out of the house for the weekend at a retreat for a class she is taking at school. difficult child and his friend have been awake since 2:00. I haven't wanted to give either their medications too early because then they start wearing off sooner.
Anywho... to the point. This morning I could hear them in easy child/difficult child's room-a huge NO in our house as easy child/difficult child really needs a space that is non difficult child related. difficult child and friend found a lighter and according to difficult child a pack of cigarettes (I'm not sure about the cigarette part because when he handed me the lighter he first told me that he is worried she might be smoking and then later changed his story to there is also a pack of cigarettes-which I haven't seen yet and I think since he handed me the lighter the cigarettes would have been handed over as well).
difficult child kept trying to make this about easy child/difficult child that he is worried about her. He says he went in there to feed her fish (another things she would not be happy about). Of course, that is his excuse (and hopefully he didn't overfeed them) but he found the lighter in her closet-hmmm the fish aren't in there are they difficult child?
He was screaming at me for being upset with him and at one point lightly shoved me-still lightly or not he should not be doing it at all (thankfully I wasn't on my crutches as I am supposed to be or I could have been hurt even from the light shove).
Aside from everything he did wrong, I'm not quite sure how to handle things right now. We are hoping this would be a weekend where easy child/difficult child might start to change. Personally I was hoping maybe she would start letting go of some of her anger (especially at him). If she finds out he was in there she is going to explode (and I wouldn't blame her). If that happens I think any progress she made will be gone in a second.
I'm thinking about putting the lighter back (if she is smoking now as much as I wish she wouldn't she is almost an adult and I can't stop her) and hoping she doesn't find out. Do you think this is the right thing to do? It's possible she'll find out anyways because who knows what else they did in there (not to mention hopefully he didn't kill the fish from overfeeding). Plus, in anger he may tell her he did it. What to do?
In my other post I mention that easy child /difficult child is out of the house for the weekend at a retreat for a class she is taking at school. difficult child and his friend have been awake since 2:00. I haven't wanted to give either their medications too early because then they start wearing off sooner.
Anywho... to the point. This morning I could hear them in easy child/difficult child's room-a huge NO in our house as easy child/difficult child really needs a space that is non difficult child related. difficult child and friend found a lighter and according to difficult child a pack of cigarettes (I'm not sure about the cigarette part because when he handed me the lighter he first told me that he is worried she might be smoking and then later changed his story to there is also a pack of cigarettes-which I haven't seen yet and I think since he handed me the lighter the cigarettes would have been handed over as well).
difficult child kept trying to make this about easy child/difficult child that he is worried about her. He says he went in there to feed her fish (another things she would not be happy about). Of course, that is his excuse (and hopefully he didn't overfeed them) but he found the lighter in her closet-hmmm the fish aren't in there are they difficult child?
He was screaming at me for being upset with him and at one point lightly shoved me-still lightly or not he should not be doing it at all (thankfully I wasn't on my crutches as I am supposed to be or I could have been hurt even from the light shove).
Aside from everything he did wrong, I'm not quite sure how to handle things right now. We are hoping this would be a weekend where easy child/difficult child might start to change. Personally I was hoping maybe she would start letting go of some of her anger (especially at him). If she finds out he was in there she is going to explode (and I wouldn't blame her). If that happens I think any progress she made will be gone in a second.
I'm thinking about putting the lighter back (if she is smoking now as much as I wish she wouldn't she is almost an adult and I can't stop her) and hoping she doesn't find out. Do you think this is the right thing to do? It's possible she'll find out anyways because who knows what else they did in there (not to mention hopefully he didn't kill the fish from overfeeding). Plus, in anger he may tell her he did it. What to do?