Brand new here. I apologize for length. DS3 is 13. He always has been an introverted old soul, solemn, serious, rarely exhibits joy in the tradional sense, prefers to be alone AND is courteous, respectful, straight A, rule follower. Teachers love him, never a complaint. They have said, "he is very litteral, black and white. He is not defiant or oppositional." HOWEVER, his behavior is still "different" from his peers. He doesnt seek out or care about acceptance, doesn't care if others like him, and truly truly is not faking this we believe. He is not angry or depressed acting. He doesnt want or hope for a friend but will be quietly social with kids he feels are kind. He has no close friendships. He has no patience for drama. He is Socially awkward at times. He is and always been just "fine" as long as people leave him to himself and he is not being teased or bullied. (Those things have been very isolated incidents.) Yes. As a mom, I have wished for a friend or connection for him. He doesn't really care. He will ALWAYS do what is expected of him when asked. He is a pretty great kid. Which is why Im all the way to 13 with him and no "issues" until now. Yesterday, his new coach called and was downright cruel I felt. He said DS3 was "sat" because when he went around asking for a "goal" for each child, my son answered in a way he felt was socially unacceptable. (I assume nerves and not knowing terminology) The team laughed at him. So the next time a goal was asked for, DS3 clammed up as not to be laughed at again and said, he "didnt have a goal." DS3 told me, he was laughed at last time. (Socially awkward answer) but he still had the same goal, but didnt know how to word it. So he said.."I don't have a goal." So I tell coach this. Coach said "he is not participating and being disobedient in not providing an anawer." Coach told me, "you are just making excuses for him. You gotta see him for who he is!" He told me DS3 doesnt understand his position in the game. husband suggests that maybe find a different way to explain it? "You guys arent holding him accountable." I ask DS3 and he said.."no, I honestly dont understand his instructions and I made mistakes. I dont WANT to make mistakes but its hard to ask for another explanation. Kids will laugh." I share this with coach...Again coach told me we were "covering" for him and letting him manipulate us. husband explained his personality a bit- Bc coach said, he is often by himself, not trying to make friends (but loves sport and is decent). We explained, ask him, he is generally ok as long as kids arent making fun. He isnt mean or disrespecting anyone. He participates 100% effort. Coach said "This isn't normal. He isnt going to play until he starts acting normal and is a part of the team." Then he said that he has worked with kids on the spectrum before, and our son is willfully manipulating situations and if we dont see his manipulations as parents "you and your husband are blind." I was shocked. And crying. And quiet. This coach is a school counselor by trade. Are husband and I are blind??? We arent denying that he is different or that he isnt a bit socially awkward. But never has there been a complaint from multiple teachers and coaches in 13 years. Coach has issues with my husband as husband is in a position of power here and treading lightly. So, this may be an issue. However, is there anything to be concerned bout qith my DS3 who is generally content to be alone or in a parallel play situation at 13?