My background's in my sig. difficult child sent the following email on Valentine's Day (just got it this morning because I have a filter set that hides his emails among all my other ones, and makes it hard for me to read them unless I specifically search on his email address. Haven't done that for a couple of months, until today. "Mom I'd like to come home. I'm tired. I'm having trouble sleeping. it's not the usual insomnia. it lacks that productivity. I haven't even been able to write a single word since I've been down here. I miss you. I miss being home. Here I feel like I'm in exile, like I'm being punished for something I don't understand. I need to be home. I need you to understand this. I'm stuck in a limbo unable to move on. and quite frankly it makes feel like ****. It's like all I see is fog, when I look outside, when I look in the mirror. I feel like you don't love me. For the life of me, i don't know why. I love you. I always have. I wish you knew how much pain i'm in every day. I wish you'd console me. nothing excites me like it has. nothing that i loved before. I've lost my sense of humor. I haven't laughed in months. the only thing that seems to bring me comfort is when I'm around something that reminds me of home." My response: "difficult child-Name, I love you very much, and I'm sorry that you are hurt and feel stuck. I know you don't agree with my asking you to move out. Moving back in with me, though, is not an option. You may not remember the chaos and the behaviors that led me to decide to ask you to leave, but I certainly still do. I love you, and I want you to have a happy life that you can enjoy and be proud of, but living with me isn't going to be part of that. I understand if you are angry with me about that. Tell me about what you're doing now. The last I knew you're working at FastFoodPlace, and from your facebook it looks like you're seeing someone. She seems nice. -Mom" I wasn't even briefly tempted to have him come back up here. The thought of having him live with me makes me feel anxious, nauseated and trapped. So, it's not going to happen. At this point, I'm truly ok with him being angry with me. I just don't have the energy to involve him in my daily life beyond email, and I'm getting a little sick of explaining to him over and over again why the living-with-mom ship has permanently sailed. Ugh.