Kanga update

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Sep 16, 2012.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Well, she is days away from that magical 18th birthday. She refused to stay in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) but did agree to go to TLP. Her safety plan was dropped. The first thing she did was get her own cell phone. She is also demanding they remove her birth control implant, she has an appointment for the day after she turns 18.

    While she has been good for the last few months, I don't see this being a permanent improvement as she still has heavily impaired thinking, she has just learned to do the tricks to get the rewards. Once she turns 18, she is free to leave and no one can stop her. She is a senior, so we are hoping she sticks around until at least Christmas (she will be eligible for graduation, even though she does not know it); preferably she stays for the full year.

    One good thing is that current boyfriend lives with his parents who have no desire to let her move in. With an 11pm curfew, she is basically free to do what she wants all day so all that freedom may keep her in the TLP.....I hope.
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hugs and positive thoughts. This is tough. How are the other kids holding up with her release?

  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    :hugs: Just ugh... I am keeping all of you in my prayers.
  4. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    JJJ - many hugs. I cannot believe 18 is upon you already.

    Of all the difficult times with- thank you, the immediate pre- and post-18 period was by far the most difficult for me. The loss of my control/input, on top of his less-than-stellar choices - well, I cried daily for at least 9 months.

    I send you much strength and can only encourage you to take really good care of yourself while you hone those detachment skills. The lack of BC is a terrifying thought but your hands are tied.

    Hang tight.
  5. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    What is TLP?

    This must be incredibly stressful for you. Have the other kids said anything to you about Kanga's upcoming birthday? Do they realize what her turning 18 means?
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

  7. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Many hugs and much strength being sent your way.....
  8. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I'm so sorry. This must be a very stressful time for you.
  9. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Eeyore seems to be the only one aware that her birthday is almost here. He wants the "57 armed guards that kept her in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC)" to come surround our house and keep her away. No idea where he got the idea she was surrounded by armed guards --- he's actually been to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #2 and knows it looks more like a country estate than a prison; heck, there aren't even any fences! I think his panicked mind just created a reality that made him feel safe. We have reassured him that her being 18 does not change the fact that she is not allowed here. I think as the days go by and she does not show up, he may begin to accept that.

    I think it is affecting me more than I thought as my insomnia is back full force, I'm having flare-ups of two stress related illnesses and when I do sleep, my dreams are vivid and crazy!
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2012
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Fingers crossed! I hope she stays in school, too, and is pleasantly surprised but her ability to graduate.
    If she goes to an obgyn on her own, since she's 18, I assume that if the dr agrees, she can have the implant removed? But maybe the boyfriend will catch wind of it and reconsider ... there are more players here than just you.
    I would emphasize that once she's 18 it means MAJOR responsibilities, like paying you rent, insurance, etc.
  11. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Bunny -- TLP is the Transitional Living Program, it is just across the parking lot from her current home. She gets new staff but the old staff is still available to her informally. She is still required to go to school, to go to work, to do chores, take her medications, and participate in therapy. Once she finishes her transition into TLP, she is free to do what she pleases 8am-11pm (midnight on non-school nights) as long as she does those few things. In fact, she doesn't have to really do her chores, she gets $75/week just for staying in TLP and she can pay another resident to do her chores (although it is more likely that she will find 2-3 residents who will pay her to do their chores; it sounds absolutely crazy but she could bring in $1500+ a month but all of her room/board expenses are covered) I get that it teaches them to equate working with money but it will be a huge shock for her when she goes to her own apartment, loses the $1200+ that is pure Residential Treatment Center (RTC) fantasy. She'll have to try and survive in a low income controlled apartment and about $600/month to cover everything else.
  12. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Terry -- by staying in TLP, she gets a lot of freedom with minimal responsibilities. Her only bill is her cell phone. I doubt she'll ever pay for insurance. She should be able to stay on disability and Medicaid.

    Being able to get that diploma is just a way to ensure that she can apply for jobs that require it. She still reads at a very low level (3-4th grade). She "qualifies" only because she has been in summer school for 4 years so they will count that as equivalent to her final semester.