Kidney Stones, Seattle, and H.


Active Member
I am kinda a mess this week.

I am passing a kidney stone, and have a kidney infection - and I have to go up to Seattle on business early next week. I will be there a week sitting in meetings. I cannot cancel, as I already had to cancel the first set of meetings when H. died.

I am worried.

I am stressed that I will end up in the ER in Seattle if the kidney stone does not pass by then. (I have had 3 surgeries for kidney stones, I know the drill, unfortunately.) Although I have been alone in the hospital before in Dallas, so what is the difference?

I am worried that difficult child will be alone, and consequently that makes me worried about my house, plants, and dogs - and him. Bio-dad is on the outs lately, so there is little to no support.

And I am stressed about going to the NW, since every ounce and iota of the NW reminds me of H. Before she died, and she knew I would be in Seattle for business, we had arranged a get together when I got up there to celebrate my birthday. I mean, literally, every mountain, stream, ocean, street reminds me of H. She was the North West, she embodied it, I am sure her spirit resides there. I am concerned about being overcome with missing her when I am there - and then I will be all alone - without one source of my familiar comforts.

I know I will be OK. I always have been. There is nothing that will stop that pattern now. I guess I just worry that I will be miserable, physically or mentally the whole week I am there, and that things will fall apart here.

Just please send me as many good vibes as you can. Life seems so tough lately. Today was the first day I was really PO at H. for leaving me. I mean, stinking mad. How dare she leave me, when I have all this poo on my plate - and who in the hay is gonna take care of my dad when he gets sick again? Who is gonna have to deflect all of his manure he piles at me?

I know, anger is the whatever still stinks.


Going Green
All the good vibes I have....headed your way. And more to the NW to be there waiting for when you get there.

Hope the stone passes. I've never had one but I've seen them drop big tough men to their knees (literally) and don't think I want that particular experience.

Not that I'm an expert on grief but it would seem to me that being angry at H is kind of a good thing. At the very least, it shows that you're .......I don't want to say moving on but... maybe advancing through the stages. You know? Not sure if that makes did in my head but seemed to have gotten a little jumbled when it came out on the keyboard.

All things considered, I hope this trip goes as well as it can. Sending mucho hugs with the vibes.


Well-Known Member
Can they do anything to break up the stone before you leave so it is easier to pass?

Know that your sister is there in Seattle with all of the rain. Each and every drop is a little bit of her falling into your life, falling into the earth and the streams and making everything so green and full of life there. If you would like, I'll try and take a day to go up and meet you for dinner. Let me know.


I wouldn't travel with a kidney stone trying to pass. Can't they break them up with sound waves or something? I can't imagine what the airplane pressure will do. :faint:

I wish I could take some of your pain.



Active Member
Thanks guys. Witz, you are so kind. I will see what my schedule is, and when my day off is, and maybe we can meet half way. I would hate for you to drive that distance - so maybe we can meet.
You are right, H. is in every part of every molecule of the NW. God I miss her. She was beautiful. And yet. I cannot believe she stood me up. That is how I feel. Like she stood me up on this life we were supposed to conquer together.

I will find out tomorrow if they can break this stone up. They have to be at least 2mm in width before they can do the laser thing - and even that you are out for 2 hours and it is considered surgery. Given the weekend, I probably cannot pull it off before Seattle. I had it last year, and it did take me a couple of days to recover. If it less than 2mm than I just have to "pass" it - which I have tried 2 other times, but they have gotten caught in my ureter, and I have had to have invasive surgery.



Steely, I hope that it passes soon.

I've only had it once and it passed within a couple hours. But, I did learn in that couple of hours that if you lie down in a tub full of warm water, it does allieviate (sp?) the pressure.

Not that that will help you on the plane or in meetings. :(

Life is just not fair sometimes.



I'm thinking positive, healing thoughts, visualizing white light around the stones and praying. Please let us know how you are going.

You're a special young lady, Steely. Hugs, ML

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
I hope the stone passes quickly. husband had one and it was not pleasant.

Sending you strength for your journey. Remember we are here and we love you.


Active Member
Steely, hang in there- as I know you will.

Trust me on this, if I could find a way to get there and share every raindrop with you, I would!


Active Member
Thanks again.

Now I am so itchy and hyper from the pain medications I can hardly stand it. OMG. Today I had a full circle difficult child cycle. Over the top angry, under the radar sad, and so hyper and itchy I wish someone would hit me over the head. Sometimes I think not enough empathy is extended to our kiddos - if I had to deal with this bonanza of feelings every day, I would be inappropriate too:faint:

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful

Unfortunately I've had far far too much experience with kidney stone. And not even ONCE have I managed to pass a single one. They get hung up in my ureters every single time. (I have the burr type)

Is the stone actually in the kidney? Or is it in the bladder or ureter? I'm not sure about the kidney. But in the bladder or ureters it can be remove by cystoscopy. The nice part about it is, it is done out patient. It doesn't take very long. You're released with pain medications, anti-spasmotics, and you can be up and around pretty much immediately. (well, I can anyways)

I most certainly wouldn't fly with a kidney stone. Riding in a car is painful enough. Thankyouverymuch. Eek! I'd ask about having the cysto done.


Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
P.S. Steely, there is a blood test your urologist can do to see how you can adjust your diet so that you greatly reduce the chance of making stones. I had it done 20 some yrs ago and mine are made of a specific type of calcium, which I have to avoid by staying away from dairy and other foods with it in it. Good thing.......I haven't had a stone in 12 yrs.


Active Member
I hopep you feel better soon. Can they give you a different pain medication? I feel like my skin crawls when I take pain medications and I feel itchy, but can't pinpoint any particular itch. Yuck.

Have you been to any survivors groups yet? Gotten any help with your grief? You've got to do something to help you get through this.

Sending warm hugs.


Roll With It
Sending hugs and lots of good vibes. and a great big pillow to beat on when you are mad at H. and hug when you miss her.

Love ya,


I've only had one kidney stone once in my life. Luckily for me, I passed it after a couple of hours in the hospital. I'm so sorry you're going through this - I know the pain is excruciating. I hope you are able to stay on top of the pain with the medications even though they make you itchy and hyper.

I want you to know I'm thinking of you... I wish there was some way I could help you. Although I'm having a hard time expressing myself right now, just know I hope you feel better soon.

Although this doesn't help, I know what you mean about everything in a particular place reminding you of H. I also felt that way for a long time after I lost someone very close to me. The only thing that helped me was the passing of lots of time, and talking to others about the pain I was going through. I think it might be a good idea, as someone already mentioned, to join a support group if you're not already in one.

I wish I lived near you. I just wish I could be there for you in person... HUGS ... WFEN


Active Member
Hey! Does the doctor know that you're so itchy? That sounds like an allergic reaction. Maybe you should give him a call. Do you have benadryl in the house just in case?

Sorry for sounding like a worry-wart, but that sounds weird to me!

Sending as many positive vibes! Send some back on Wed. that's when I hit the OB/GYN (depending on what he says, that could be literally!).

Keeping good thoughts for you!



Active Member
Since I now have hives, I believe you are right NVTS. sick of this. I had a horrible day at work, this other manager blew up at me........and what do I do? Cry! Yea for super strong me! Not!

At what point do I become "whiney", and ya'll tell me me to shut up. :faint: