I'm new here and I am having issues with my 21-year old son. Is he just spreading his wings, has become a drug addict, or has he always been a difficult child and sports was a good outlet for him to keep on the straight and narrow? My story: My son could always be defined as 'normal' he did all the minor things/scraped that every other kid did at his age at the developmental stage that it happened for most other kids. In fact he was kind of a good kid. In middle school he discovered a sport that he LOVED to play—he played year round and actually became quite good at it (I'm name the sport to protect his anonymity). His senior year of high school about mid-year there were no other options for him to play his sport, so he was no longer able to play. He graduated and went off to college. He flunks out of that college—after lying to me about his grades, etc. I even had one of the orientation advisors do an 'academic intervention' on him, where he promised to do better. Ha! That worked really well. He was driving home from school and got pulled over and he had a bag of pot in his car. Thankfully he had not been smoking it, but was ticketed and we had to hire a lawyer and go to court. I keep telling him 'they might drug test you'—does he listen—NO! They drug test him and put him on probation. Which by the way is a JOKE. He is supposed to attend NA meetings, go to all these classes and pass 2 drug tests. Sure enough he fails the 2 random drug tests. They give him one more chance—he finally passes. No more probation. He came home and went to a community college to take some remedial courses so he could return to college in a year. He meets a girl and does not want to go back to college. We try to fit him into a community college education (what he wants to major in requires a 4 year degree) so he doesn't have to leave his girlfriend. He does well his second semester and then has to move on to a different community college than his girlfriend. He flunks out there. His girlfriend dumps him because he has become an unmotivated slug. He becomes suicidal--we seek counseling. He goes for about 2 months and decides he doesn't need counseling anymore. Now he's off the deep end, he steals things and trades them for money or drugs. He never comes in until after 2 am. He works, but I'm going to assume that all his money goes to buy gas and drugs. I am about ready to kick him out of the house, but the counselor says that is about the same thing as putting a puppy out on the interstate. Do I have a difficult child here and just didn't notice it because he was so wrapped up in sports? I'm thinking I have a drug addict on my hands, but don't know what to do for him since he is 21. Does anyone have any suggestions? He is ruining my life—I thought by now he would be on the back end of college and I would be rid of him. How do I get rid of this man-child that is in my home?