My son is 17, and I am in the throws of trying to detach. It is gut wrenching, confusing, and nauseating - and something I do not come by naturally. He is floundering at the moment, doing nothing, absolutely nothing - and somewhere inside I have to kindle some tough love. I have always been the most giving, loving, sacrificial parent - but I know this is no longer what he needs. In fact, if anything, it has hurt him more than helped. He is spoiled, and soft, and lazy.......not to mention angry, self absorbed, and indifferent to going forward. Reading your posts, I can tell many of you are experts in detaching - and I would love advice, feedback, and stories of how you were able to truly become a warrior mom or dad and detach. I need fuel for my fire to be a different, stronger, better mom.