Living with an addict is making me sick!

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by wantpeace, Feb 24, 2012.

  1. wantpeace

    wantpeace New Member

    I'm wondering how many of you have gotten physically sick from living with an addict. I'm currently trying to get help for my son who is out of jail on bond while raising two other active boys and working full time. I've been feeling very light headed lately, so I went to the doctor. My BiPolar (BP) was 160/115! I also have stomach issues that the doctor said could be pre-ulcer symptoms. I am at my ideal weight, run, eat healthy, and now need to take 5 different medications due to stress!! They aren't kidding when they say this is a "family disease". I am doing everything in my power to help my son get help for his addiction while enforcing tough love and making him face the consequences of his actions. I feel that I'm doing the right thing as a parent, but it's killing me physically. How do you manage to stay healthy and sane?
  2. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi wantpeace and welcome to the board!

    I thiink all of us with difficult child's have felt stressed. Many of us describe ourselves as having PTSD. For me, the way I cope with having a difficult child is to compartmentalize. I describe it as having a box in my brain where I close up difficult child's problems and go one with the rest of my life. It's not denial . . . I know that the problems are there, I just don't let it spill out and ruin the rest of my life.

    I've gotten very good at it but it took time. All of us have learned to cope in our own way. Many on the board took medications to help. Others find help but going to support groups like Al-anon or Families Anonymous.

    And, of course, being a member of this wonderful community of warrior parents is a great support. We understand what you are going through because we have lived it or are living it now. We are here to listen and help you with advice or just a hug when you need it.

  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh wow, when my son was in the hospital I remember posting here that my BiPolar (BP) was higher and I was getting headaches. I lost about 10 lbs in a month because eating was so hard. Now, things are very stressful but he is with me so I am reassured he is ok most of the time so I haven't gotten to that level of stress and I think too I have adjusted to this new normal which is actually living with more intensive issues. Sad to say that I suppose. But my BiPolar (BP) has been good and was like 123/75 just last week....I dont take any medications because it was border line. I hope the medications help you because this is not worth a stroke! I posted here even more than I do now and I called some friends I have here too so I could release some of it. If I could I would have gone to a yoga class but I had zero money (part of the stress) . You are doing the right things, but you need to add care for yourself so you can continue to make these choices and be the parent you want to be. HUGS.... Dee
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome. I am so sorry you are so stressed. I am glad you found us. You will find some peace here.

    I am aware of how much it takes out of us to deal with all we deal with, with our kids. You are doing all the right things for your son, although others will be more well versed then I. You are taking care of yourself physically well too. You're doing everything you can to help your son, you're doing a good job.

    For me, the single most important de-stressor was to get into a codependency support group lead by a therapist. I think Al anon, CoDa, or any of the 12 step programs work very well too. There are many programs for families of addicts which are so helpful. To hear other parents talk about their experience, to be able to speak in a space where all the others know what you are going through is an amazing supportive experience and can help to keep you calm. Yoga helps, acupuncture, meditation, deep breathing, regular therapy, making sure you get support and doing things you love which don't involve your sons. Taking breaks from the drama where you can clear you mind and let go for awhile. And, of course, learning detachment.

    This can consume your whole life, don't let it. Take time for yourself. Keep venting here. You will get support from other parents who are in the same boat. They will be along soon. Take a deep breath. We are here for you. Keep writing. God Bless you. HUGS to you wantpeace.