Logic and choices from a difficult child's point of view


Well-Known Member
Today, we went out to buy shoes for difficult child.
Pick out 2 pr. He is SO excited! Puts on a pr right away to wear out of the store.
Check price. $55 apiece! NO WAY!
I compromise and tell difficult child he can do extra chores around the house and yard to earn them.
He pauses, takes off the shoes, puts them back in the box, takes a cheaper pr and says, "I'd rather only have one pr and not do the chores."
OMG. I hadn't even considered that it was an option.
Sales clerk comes by, tells us that the prices on the boxes are not the real prices and to have them scanned.
Check out clerk comes up with-$17.95 apiece.
"You are one lucky boy," I tell difficult child.
Who still has to do chores. But maybe not THAT many extra chores... :wink:


Former desparate mom
<span style='font-size: 11pt'>Terry at least your child is 10yrs old. My difficult child is a gadget guru in a big way. A year ago he wanted to buy "stuff". We said "get a job". Now he works but we say "pay bills first".
His complaint was that we told him to work for what he wants but now that he does he still can't buy what he wants because of bills. What's the point of working?"

It makes sense in his somewhat immature mind. It's also a dependent mentality. We told him "welcome to the real world". :rofl: He is 23 and he still spends every extra saved penney without long term planning. </span>

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Had to chuckle at him choosing only one pair of shoes :rofl: -sounds like something my difficult child would do.


No real answers to life..
After living with my difficult child for over 18 years this choice came as no surprise......it was a typical difficult child response......sorry to say.


Ok, first of all WHERE did you find shoes for $17.95?!! That's where I'm shopping next time.

As for difficult child's response....classic. :rofl: Although, with my difficult child she'd have to do the chores FIRST. She always makes the promises, but if she already has the prize getting her to follow through is a battle I don't want to fight anymore. been there done that. Not doing it again. :hammer:


Well-Known Member
Oh, Fran, so sorry.

Yes, Heather, I agree, with-difficult children, they often don't follow through. Doing the chores first if the Way To Go.

The shoes were from a place called A&N. I did a quick Google search and can't find it, so it must be local. They have 3 stores here, with-inexpensive sport shoes, t-shirts, sunglasses, and winter jackets. For being so small, they do a good job of competing with-Dick's and Sports Authority, and in fact, Shoe Carnival and all those places don't have as good of deals. The store is woefully understaffed so you have to be very patient.


Active Member
We will make our kids pay for luxuries, unless it's birthday or Christmas, but we always allowed a certain amount per year for shoes and clothes. It was enough for necessities. We allowed one pair of shoes, chosen for school wear. Where possible we would make sure those shoes were dual purpose - sneakers were permitted for everyday wear, as long as they were completely black. Sometimes that meant colouring in the white or coloured bits with a black felt pen.

easy child 2/difficult child 2 has a favourite pair of shoes - they used to be her sister's old tap shoes. We took the taps off, painted the shoes black and she wore them to school for years until school finished. Now she wears those shoes to work. She also has a pair of sneakers which she can wear to work, but the old tap shoes feel best for her. She DOES have dressy shoes which she bought herself - they are fabulous but impractical - but she has been wearing this same pair of shoes for at least six years. Every so often we glue new soles on.
We noticed a couple of days ago that the side is breaking out of these shoes - they have finally worn too much. It will cost almost A$100 to get another pair, but I think that will be worth it. We have an old pair of boy's tap shoes we might swap with a dance teacher, for an old pair of girl's tap shoes (without the taps). Should be a fair exchange...

Perhaps it's having a household full of Aspies & Aspie-like mentality, but we managed to get by with the practical basics. The girls would want a small amount of "pretty stuff" but I could count on them to not wear out their clothes too fast; while the boys needed clothes patched and STILL needed new clothes more often than the girls, purely from wear. difficult child 1's school uniform was grey flannel trousers (very impractical for six year old boys) and I remember he would come home from school on the first day of having worn his new trousers, and he had worn through the knees already. I sewed on grey vinyl patches, then later more vinyl patches, until the fabric was so badly worn it would take no more patches.
difficult child 3 would chew his shirts and pull off buttons so I sewed tape inside the shirt and attached the buttons to that. I even reinforced his pockets with tape sewn on the inside of the shirt.

We lived for the op-shop. I don't think our budget would have survived their childhood if it hadn't been for the wonderful world of Second Hand.

The trouble with making my boys do chores for all the clothes they ruined - they would ruin clothes just doing the chores!