My son is a pot addict. He is almost 22. He lives with me and my high school daughter who is a senior. The day before yesterday I sled him to do the dishes and to stop smoking pot in my house again. I did this calmly. He blew up at me again and lied, again. He is belligerent, blaming and angry. I had previously given him a 30 day notice which he told me he had no intention of doing unless I hire movers to move him. Since he was raving at me, I asked him to leave. He did. Then he wanted to come back to the house for paintball gear because he had signed up for a paintball event this weekend. I said no. He broke down the door and forced his way in. He knock my down on the stairs and when I put my hands up to defend myself, he accused me of trying to choke him. He called the police and told them that I was preventing him from getting personal clothes and a sleeping bag. necessities of life. Three officers entered my home. They questioned me about me assuring him. When they found out it was about paintball clothes they were furious with both of us. I don’t know if they believed me at all. They asked me if he could come in and get his clothes and would I remain calm and not hurt him! One officer said give me his paintball gear that he is asking for, and I will make him give me the key to the door and leave. I complied. After the police left, he came back. He said he wanted to give me back the cell phone he had and I pay for. I opened the door a crack and he forced his way in. He knocked me on my butt and into the kitchen table. I have bruises on my legs and hand. He went back upstairs and took more paintball gear and left. I called the police but they failed to come as they were dealing with real crime, which is what I was told. They did however return later to do a welfare check on me. Not embarrassing at all. I had sold my house in January and have been living in a small apartment until my new house is ready in a town two hours away from the town I live in now. My son called later that evening to say he was sorry about how it all worked out but I never should have locked him out or tried to choke him. I hung up. So yesterday I rented a u haul. My daughter and I packed up his room and rented a storage unit. I paid for one month. I don’t know if I will hear from him again. His paintball event is over today. While cleaning out his room I found about 100 wrappers boxes etc of pot stuff. The price tags ranged from 25 to 88$ no wonder he counts not buy food, pay rent, buy a car pay for a cell phone. I have rescheduled my move for the 9th which is the soonest the movers can get here. I have to pack up the apartment and prepare it for the movers anyway and that is probably the fastest I can get it done. I sound so calm writing this but my heart is broken. I cannot stop crying. I gave my kids a solid, stable, happy home life. Although my son had always been selfish, I have always disciplined and been fair. I did homework, vacations, Disneyland, my house was the hangout house for all of the friends, I read to him, cared for him, let him pursue his interests, supported him in club sports. I never tolerated disrespect in my family. We believe in God. I listened to him, cared for him, valued him. When he was 18 he started smoking pot and it has been a struggle since. Lying, belligerence, he will not do anything to contribute to the household as in a chore or funds. And he truly believes that I am the problem. We went to family counseling for three years. His anger is out of control when he is using and he doesn’t care and blames me. I am so humiliated that he called the police on me. I am humiliated that it took them so long to figure out it was him. I feel like I had a nervous breakdown while they were here. The room was spinning, I couldn’t think. You can’t believe how much better the apartment smells after removing his things. If you met me in real life you would be stunned this is happening. I am a professional person, volunteer, loving mom and my daughter is amazing. Although she has been asking me to remove him from the house for a while. I had told my son he couldn’t move with us to the new house and had been trying to get him to understand that the deadline was approaching. He needed to figure out what he was going to do. When I told him it was 30 days out and he needed to stop smoking pot in my apartment and I would like him to do the dishes he went ballistic. I feel like I have lost my son for life. I don’t know how we got here. I think about his childhood and I just don’t get it. Since I have the phone now, I don’t know how to contact him. I called his father, we have been divorced 7 years (hence the counseling I had both of my kids go to with their own counselors and then we all met together my counselor. ) and his father said “wow, you guys really have communication issues.” That was it. Two years ago when my son didn’t show up for counseling I went looking for him. I found him passed out in his dealers apartment. I thought he was dead. It took a while to wake him up. The reason I haven’t kicked him out before now was because I was afraid of what might happen to him. I am so afraid that I have lost my son for life. I am afraid left to his own devices he will die. I afaraid that if I didn’t remove him that he would hurt my daughter or myself. I am afraid that moving two hours away with him having no way to contact me or me him since I have his cellphone that I am abandoning him. I am so hurt and scared. And my grieving over him is impacting my daughter who is so relieved he is out of the house. I look at his baby pictures and I wonder where that kids went. What happened? I am taking the week off from work to pack and because I am an emotional wreck. I cannot work in this condition. I am sobbing in his empty room typing this. I am so filled with grief. Do you ever get your relationship back or do you lose your child for life?