Lol and Jabber: Update?

[Lil]

He will almost always be able to find a way to keep in touch when he wants to. He is playing your mommy strings.

Of course he is, because it works. The issue isn't that he can't get a hold of us, it's that we can't contact HIM if he doesn't have a phone. If he applies for jobs, employers can't get hold of him. etc. etc. Which is why he (and really everyone these days) needs a phone. Which is why there's a government phone program and has been since the 1980's I believe.

I did some research today. Safelink uses TracFone, just like you buy from Walmart. For the first 4 months, you get 500 talk minutes and unlimited texts. After that you get 250 unless you buy TracFone minutes.

He needs to get a damn job. End of story. Last Sunday we saw that Taco Bell was hiring as well as a hotel, both within walking distance for him.

Get a job = money = whatever phone you want. See how that works? He's known this is coming since October. We warned him multiple times. I'm sorry his phone got ruined. We'll turn on another one to the end of the month. He'll live.

 

[pasajes4]

When my oldest kids moved out of the house, there were no cell phones. They did not have home phones. We agreed that they would contact us 2 times a week . They would call from a friends home phone or from a store phone. I also knew where they were if there was an emergency. The government phone plan was designed for people to have a point of contact for employers, doctors, and family. They were not intended for huge gab fests. He will get over it or he won't.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

My daughter had one of those government phones sent to her when she first came back home. Apparently very easy to get...I would not buy him another phone. Anytime he gets anything from you he is going to think he can get more. He has had more chances to get a job and do something and he doesn't want to do anything. He has shown that time and time again...

 

[wakeupcall]

My Difficult Child has had many, many opportunities for a job. He doesn't want one, period. It's a hard pill for me to swallow. Zero, zero, motivation.

 

[Lil]

We've gone on-line and activated an old flip phone of mine from 10 years ago or so...But it works. Talk and text only, but that's all he's had for a while since he broke his last smart phone. Anyway, we haven't heard from him all day and we were expecting him to come for dinner and Game of Thrones. Since it's the finale I was planning on fixing what's basically his favorite meal, homemade mac and cheese with chunks of ham. The last thing we said to him last night was we'd talk to him today.

As I was typing this, he called. Wanted to come at 6:30. I said 7. We split the difference at 6:45. Says he hasn't eaten in two days. No reason for that since he gets food stamps. But whatever. I'm just hoping we manage an evening with no blow-ups.

 

[pasajes4]

mmmmmm mac and cheese....... I have not made that in years. I went to a dinner party a few weeks ago. The hostess made fried mac and cheese balls. They were amazing. Hers had bits of bacon and a little bit of a kick. I allowed myself one, but I could have eaten every last one.

 

[Lil]

Oh...I may have to do bacon.

 

[BusynMember]

Tell him nursing homes are hiring fast. My daughter got a job the first day she applied and it's only for the summer because she goes back to school in late Aug. But it pays well and you don't need to be certified. She's making good money.

Yes, I know it's not always a pleasant job, but it's a job and it would pay the bills. There ARE jobs. This is proof.

I do think you have to test negatively for alcohol and drugs.

 

[pasajes4]

Tell him nursing homes are hiring fast

I do think you have to test negatively for alcohol and drugs.

This would be some scary business.

 

[Lil]

Every job he's had he had to drug test for. I wouldn't imagine alcohol though, since that's legal. But it doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure he'd panhandle before he'd work at a nursing home.

I'm pretty sure I would consider that an absolute last resort myself for that matter. I know that sounds horrible, but I truly would rather do any other job you can name...I'd rather pick up road kill or pump out portajohns. It's like a phobia almost. I have visited people in nursing homes. I spent quite a bit of time with my best friend's mother before she passed and was there when she passed for that matter. I've gone with Jabber to take communion to shut-ins. But that's different. I had to work in a nursing home when I was in high school in a vo-tech nursing aide class. On the second day I literally got on my knees and begged my teacher not to make me go.

She made me go.

I don't know what it is about nursing homes I find so horrible. It's like that class scarred me mentally.

Regardless, I wouldn't want to subject a bunch of fragile old people to my kid. What did they ever do to deserve that?

 

[Jabberwockey]

While I'm not as phobic as Lil about working at nursing homes, I must admit that it would be pretty low on my list of job choices. I'd probably work at fast food first unless there was a fairly significant pay difference.

 

[Lil]

Wow. We sound awful. I have nothing but respect for people who work with the elderly. I know and love many elderly people. I don't know why working in a nursing home seems like such an awful job. Really, I suppose anything you can do that would make an old person's life better is a wonderful thing.

SWOT, I bet you're so proud of Jumper.

I wonder what that feels like?

Jabber's gone to get him for GoT and dinner. Cross your fingers for a quiet night. Maybe say a little prayer.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Working in a nursing home isn't for everybody. I know people who have done it and enjoyed it - to the point they would have kept doing it if the pay had been better. So, part of it is the person doing the job. Another part of it is the kind of people you are caring for. Some are younger and have their minds but need significant care. These can be interesting to work with, as compared to those whose minds are going, and yet... I know someone who even enjoyed working in the dementia wing.

For ME? I'll work in a nursing home before I clean up road kill or pump out porta-johns.

 

[Jabberwockey]

A lot has to do with your personality. Most people couldnt work in a prison either.

 

[Lil]

For ME? I'll work in a nursing home before I clean up road kill or pump out porta-johns.

Yes, I may have exaggerated a tad. . I have a pretty weak stomach.

Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app

 

[in a daze]

As far as nursing homes go. Well, you don't have to work with the residents. You can work in food service, or laundry, or housekeeping.
I worked in one for a year and a half as an aide while going to college/nursing school. It was hard work. Demented, incontinent elderly people who had mobility issues.
My in law's apartment smells worse than that facility I worked in years ago because they re fuse to hire enough help as they continue to give all their money away to one son and three grandchildren. They are such big enablers, and it drives us crazy. But I digress.....

 

[Lil]

Well, Jabber is running him home. He did a load of laundry ate 3/4 of a 9x13 pan of mac & cheese. I also made a second pan and he took it home with him.

He kinda griped about the phone. Too friggin bad. He didn't ever apply for the government phone. He's warned that on June 30th, his phone is off, so he better get it done because there's no second chance.

He's said he's getting evicted. That was kind of bound to happen, since no one living there is on the lease. That is to say...everyone who ever rented the place had moved out and the only people left had no lease. Anyway...evicted. He says the only guy left there is moving in with his mom and is asking if he can come too. We'll see. If not, I guess he's truly homeless again.

 

[BusynMember]

hile I'm not as phobic as Lil about working at nursing homes, I must admit that it would be pretty low on my list of job choices. I'd probably work at fast food first unless there was a fairly significant pay difference.

But your son has no skills and claims he can't get a job. Well, he can. He may think he is above doing that kind of work, but it's a way to help people and not be homeless. If he wants to work, he'll do anything there is. You can't compare yourselves (you have choices) to him.
Jumper wanted the paycheck and a job. She did not say, "I'm going to LOVE doing this." But she actually likes her job now and is over the stuff you have to do that nobody here wants to do...lol. She says that if she becomes a cop, she'll see worse. She also is getting attached to some of the residents.
Your son says he can't get a job. Well, nursing jobs basically always have jobs to fill. It's an option he has, as long as he doesn't flunk the alcohol/drug test. And most places test for substances. Many jobs do test for alcohol. An alcoholic guy my husband once knew had trouble getting jobs for that reason. Not all jobs are safe if you've been drinking the night before (heavily). And some places just drug test across the board looking for good candidates and those they feel may have alcoholism, which is a huge problem.

 

[Lil]

Your son says he can't get a job.

No he doesn't.

He doesn't look. He very seldom pulls the "but I've looked and looked and can't get hired" card. In fact he hasn't done that since he was living here and we gave him a deadline to find work. Now he just hems and haws about where he's looked and when pushed will admit he's looked very little. He makes up excuses for why he "can't" look for a job, the lack of transportation or internet being the two biggies. But he doesn't say he can't get a job.

He just doesn't try. So telling him who'd hire him in a heartbeat won't do a bit of good. He knows Taco Bell is hiring and a hotel right next to it...we saw those last week when he and I were together. Taco Bell has open interviews on Wednesdays. I guarantee you he didn't go last Wednesday. Why? Because he doesn't want to work. He has nothing BUT options. He fails to take advantage of any of them.

So I guess he'll be homeless, because I'm sick to death of the whole issue.

 

[wakeupcall]

Just like I said, these young adults have zero motivation. My Difficult Child doesn't even really WANT a job. Guess I wouldn't want to go to my job every day either if someone was handing me money. His father does just that! Stay striong you two, you are doing great!