Milestones missed with difficult child - milestones reached by easy child

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Mattsmom277, Jun 11, 2013.

  1. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    I know we all miss so many moments when parenting difficult child's. I know I missed so many with my difficult child (Might have to rename him former difficult child). He is 20 now and doing well. I'm so glad! He's hard working, independent, all the things we all wish for kids, be they difficult child's or easy child's. I do so recall the disappointment at no graduations (he dropped out and went to work), dances, the "typical" teen stages.

    easy child is now 14. I haven't posted much about her. I did post last year that she was put through hades by her father and step mom who sued for custody to try to force her to move out of the city with them. She ended up with a children's advocate lawyer of her own, which she didn't want. She wanted her father to respect her wishes and not be controlling. She was suicidal, vomiting daily from anxiety, it was a rough year!!! It ended last fall when because the court agreed that she would not be moving anywhere with them, her father basically terminated his rights (against easy child and my objections). They have no contact. He destroyed my childs spirit.

    At the same time, unknown to me was years of parental alienation which caused her depression and her withdrawal, shyness, fears, anxieties. She has thrived and healed, and without a controlling parent, she has found herself in so many ways and blossomed truly.

    She has lost just shy of 40lbs in a healthy way. She came out of the closet as being lesbian and is confident in herself and unafraid of those in the world that don't care to respect her. She has been accepted to a very amazing arts program for the next four years to do high school. She had to submit a portfolio of writing, photography, media arts work, drawing and painting. She also had to provide many references from teachers and instructors and an essay on why she should be in the school. She is so excited to start in the fall.

    She graduates 8th grade next week. We just learned there's a high probability that she will be valedictorian! She will know for sure tomorrow or the next day. What a honor. And for a girl just new to the school since we moved cities to what I call "Smallville" back in mid February.

    Just wanted to share some milestone proud moments. It feels so nice to have typical things to share with a child, to experience as a mom.

    She has a date for her prom, a cute teen girl from the next city over. She's a sweetheart and very much like my easy child. Not growing up too fast, in the arts program school too so they will be at same school next year.

    easy child is wearing a womens tux, pink polkadot bow tie and flashy doctor marten boots to the grad. She looks so sassy and pretty in it, much more her than a dress. She'd never attend if she had to wear a dress.

    I can't wait to share her day next week.
  2. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I know what you mean my pcs take me by suprize in so many ways. It is like I have to find a new normal because I'm so used to difficult children. I'm glad you are enjoying being the parent of your wonderful daughter.
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How wonderful for you both! So happy for easy child to be out from under a controling parent. Ugh! What a jerk he was! Love to hear she is blossoming and look forward to hearing of her wonderful new life! Just awesome!