Mothers day

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Nicwin, Mar 26, 2017.

  1. Nicwin

    Nicwin New Member

    here in England its Mother's Day and although I had a lovely card , present and hug from my daughter, my son that lives with his dad has just sent me a text saying Happy Mother's Day sorry but I'm skint so havnt got you anything. I messaged him back saying a visit would have meant just as much as a present, no reply to that.... Facebook is filled with Mother's Day messages, happy families. It is so sad that he chooses not to have much involvement with his family that loves him so much and continues to push us away. Why do some childeren value there families and other don't? I couldn't bare to be without my parents.
     
  2. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    I don't know the answer to your question, Nicwin. My son also does not value his connection to me. I am trying hard to accept that he simply does not want a close relationship with me. I'm trying to let him go. Maybe it will change in the future, but for now it isn't where I want it to be.

    Enjoy your day with your daughter instead. :mothers_day:
     
  3. Praecepta

    Praecepta Active Member

    I am of the mind "It is the thought which counts" and "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth".

    With that said, I would be appreciative of the text and thank him for that. Some kids don't even do that, so feel lucky and be thankful.
     
  4. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Honestly, I don't care for Mothers Day. I try to appreciate when they do something nice, and I try not to expect it on a day that it is expected.

    My perfect Mothers Day would be to have a day that I schedule and do things just for me. No disappointments. I hate waiting around just for the quick call, visit, gift, card or text...that may or may not come.

    I guess if our significant others would remind, cajole, help or assist our children to do something nice for their mother, it would be easier. Just as we have, at least when the children were younger, to honor their dad.

    Turn about is fair play.

    Ksm
     
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    When difficult kids ate doing bad things, it seems they blame us because they refuse to take the blame. So that is one disconnect. They know we dont approve of their behavior and it creates a wedge. Our easy kids know when we are proud of how they are turning out too and that often forms a bond. Its not fair since we often do more and spend more time trying to help our difficult adults, but usually our more typical kids also are more loving and empathetic and more grateful for our effort at doing well by them.

    I sometimes get a Mothers Day text from Bart. Often he forgets. The other three are very gracious on Mothers Day. Im so used to it, it doesnt even bother me.

    Difficult adults are men and women who tend to think they are all who matter. Better not skip THEIR birthdays! They will ask what they are getting!! But often they dont make an effort even to buy us a loving card. I have cards with extra writing in them frim Jumper, in particular, that I will never throw away. I have zilch cards ever from Bart.

    They are not the same in their thinking as most adults and do not seem to care if they hurt us, if they even bother to think about us. Their lack of empathy and me-ness is partly why they get inro so much trouble.

    Its really a loss for them. Bit it can hurt us a lot.
     
  6. Catmom

    Catmom Member

    I agree, I think the parents get blamed and the anger is geared towards us when their life doesn't go well. I get it nicwin, I just had a birthday last Friday. My son came home from college to go to dinner with us and go shopping with me. My difficult son, I haven't heard from him in days. I focused on enjoying a great weekend anyway with my son and my awesome hubby. And like mentioned in the post from somewhereoutthere, I have never received a card from my difficult son, unless someone else bought it and made him sign his name along with the cat's name. I am so thankful that my family and friends gave me a great birthday that I am not going to ruin it with focusing on who didn't call me.
     
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