Im heartbroken, beyond words, my only son I have raised alone for past 10 years is making bad choices. He was a great student until 11th grade, always motivated always cared about work and the future it seemed. He has good relationship with his mother who left the state 10 years ago, he sees here twice a year and I have a stable wife for past 8 years + younger step son. Our home is very stable, and we always asked kids to do chores, be polite and helpful. Other parents always say we have polite kids, Then my son found pot at 17 + a new group of friends, his grades took a HUGE tumble from a 3.8 GPA + Dual Enrollment College to barely passing HS. After HS, he has had NO goals unless someone of authority asks him. We have given him since June 6 2019 to get & hold a job OR go to college FT. He doesnt want to go to college, so he started a "job search" that has been going on for past 2.5 months. He got 2 jobs in that time that lasted less than 2 weeks, both jobs let him go because he is too slow / lazy and this is certainly due to the POT. Some people can work and smoke, other people like my kid are so effected by pot that he becomes inattentive and unmotivated to the point where he can barely do BASIC tasks. I have given him 3 deadlines that have come and gone, and today he decided to refuse to go into a job to work just so he could go to an Open Mic & play music & hang with friends. He is an OK musician, he is now substituting his music + pot smoking for work and school. He uses our house as his studio + pot storage area & uses my wifes car to go to his freinds house and get high all day and night. He a particular friend a 19 yr old boy, who's mother is an enabling alcoholic who lets my son and 3-4 other boys hang out & smoke pot & deal pot. This 19 yr old has become my son's best friend, to the point that I don't know if my son is now dealing pot or helping to deal pot. He doesnt have a police record yet, but I suspect that may change one day. Today was the last straw for me, I told him he has to get and KEEP a FT job or move out. So he has decided to move out, with 32$ to his name, no car, no bank acct. He departed with a suit case. Im sure there are other details, please give me your opnion, what can I do to A) moticate my son to see the beenfit of work / school and B) should I help him with $ now that he has left home? and C) Should I add a rule to not smoke pot if I let him back in the house. Also: as a note I am not against pot, however I have seen first hand the effects of the addiction. Pot as a recreation + medical I understand, however I am FAR TO well aware from both my son & ex-wife of the dangers of pot addiction. My heart is broken, he is my only son and I am so deeply sad that I can barely type, This is the text message I sent him after he left offering him a way back home, please let me know idf this is OK or ? J.., To live in this house u will.need to follow these rules: 1) U have to get & keep a 30hr week job within a week by 8/17/19 2) U have to pay phone bill & car insurance by 9/1 $100.00. 3) Work will be the highest priority in life. If you don't want to live under those rules then you can move out to where ever you want to go. After you.move out, I will not be paying your phone bill past 9/1/2019. I am doing this because I love you, otherwise I am.enabling irresponsible and destructive behavior that will result in you being a homeless & destructive adult. EVERY ADULT HAS TO WORK. You can learn that now or later. Its your choice.