Marguerite
Active Member
I read a very interesting article over the weekend. It was in the Sydney Morning Herald Saturday's supplement, "Good Weekend". According to the article, the internet has given rise to a new form of factitious disorder, of which Munchhausen's is one example.
For those who have not heard of this mental illness (and surely, what parent of a difficult child hasn't at some stage even been accused of having Munchhausen's, or Munchhausen's by proxy?) I will explain. Basically, Munchhausen's is where someone deliberately fakes illness either in themselves or someone else (- by proxy) in order to enjoy the attention and sympathy. It's named after Baron von Munchhausen, considered to be a world-famous liar.
I am certain I have known people who had Munchausen's in various forms. The trouble is, diagnosing it and treating it is almost impossible because the individual knows they're faking it and is on the alert for someone wising up. If you call them on it, they move on. A Munchhausen's by proxy parent will disappear with the kids rather than risk CPS investigating. Then there are the cases where CPS investigated claims of Munchhausen's and removes the kids, even where it turns out later NOT to be Munchausen's. I've also known women who lose custody of their kids because of an unfair accusation. You know the accusation is unfair, when the child continues to be ill despite the absence of the alleged perpetrator.
So what is Munchhausen's by Internet?
It begins similarly, I suspect - someone who needs attention, someone generally needy and who only values sympathy and attention rather than general companionship. It might begin innocently with someone exaggerating their problems - life is hard sometimes, and when problems hit hard it is easy to be more negative. Others online will rush in with sympathy, it initially makes the sufferer feel loved and valued. But the problem then begins in earnest, when this attention becomes addictive and they need a bigger 'fix' in order to continue to feel better. As the crisis begins to ease (as crises tend to do) there is a let-down, and the MbI person then has to begin to invent stuff in order to continue to 'earn' the sympathy they crave.
When the Munchhausen's person is someone you interact with face to face, it is harder for them to make a lie work long-term. They tend to move around a lot, they do not have long medical history in any one place. They often actively avoid or refuse permission for medical records to be transferred, because then the truth would begin to show up.
But the internet - it is anonymous. It is a lot easier for a middle aged balding man to masquerade as a twenty-year-old sex kitten, posting a fake picture and thereby enjoying whatever he gets out of it. He couldn't get away with it in real life or even over the phone for very long! But online - you can get away with a lot more.
The article had some interesting case histories - generally people (usually women) who at first began describing serious health problems which escalated to cancer. One woman actually posted photos of herself with no hair, supposedly from the chemo. A lot of people offered support, prayers, contact, love, the whole shebang. At times the woman with cancer (allegedly) was too ill to post, and various friends and relatives posted about her progress. Then other crises added to the mix - two friends were killed in a car crash. Others also died. All according to this 'poor woman' with so man problems.
But it was one sharp-eyed and suspicious supporter who noticed the cracks. Or more correctly, the five o'clock shadow on her scalp in the chemo photo. Then the supporter went digging for the newspaper records and death notices of the friends killed in the car crash - nothing. So she went digging for other contact details, and finally found that the 'friends' actually did not exist. The woman had done the whole lot.
What does the MbI person get out of this? Nothing financial. It's purely the attention and sympathy they crave. And they will get it however they can. Somehow, lying to get sympathy doesn't seem to devalue it for them. It takes a lot of effort and time, to create and maintain a false story in such detail. But it happens, and a lot more often than people perhaps realise.
Sites like ours are vulnerable - self-help groups, support networks - they get targetted by people craving sympathy who will invent whatever they can to get what they want.
When I read the article, I thought back to some 'odd' threads over the years. it is not possible that CD has not had MbI people posting here. But can they sustain it? Think about what we do here - we tend to do more than merely give sympathy. We advise people too. "Hey, try this, call that person, write this repot. You can do it!"
So a person wanting just sympathy is now being asked to put some more work in. They can lie and say they did it, but when we probe we can generally recognise if they're lying or not, because generally the person who suggests it knows exactly what the person should experience in the process. Questions become more probing, and this is where the MbI person's responses can break down and show their real face.
Perhaps the moral of the story is - sympathy is all well and good, but perhaps we need to help people help themselves.
Here is an interesting link - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Münchausen_by_Internet
Enjoy!
Marg
For those who have not heard of this mental illness (and surely, what parent of a difficult child hasn't at some stage even been accused of having Munchhausen's, or Munchhausen's by proxy?) I will explain. Basically, Munchhausen's is where someone deliberately fakes illness either in themselves or someone else (- by proxy) in order to enjoy the attention and sympathy. It's named after Baron von Munchhausen, considered to be a world-famous liar.
I am certain I have known people who had Munchausen's in various forms. The trouble is, diagnosing it and treating it is almost impossible because the individual knows they're faking it and is on the alert for someone wising up. If you call them on it, they move on. A Munchhausen's by proxy parent will disappear with the kids rather than risk CPS investigating. Then there are the cases where CPS investigated claims of Munchhausen's and removes the kids, even where it turns out later NOT to be Munchausen's. I've also known women who lose custody of their kids because of an unfair accusation. You know the accusation is unfair, when the child continues to be ill despite the absence of the alleged perpetrator.
So what is Munchhausen's by Internet?
It begins similarly, I suspect - someone who needs attention, someone generally needy and who only values sympathy and attention rather than general companionship. It might begin innocently with someone exaggerating their problems - life is hard sometimes, and when problems hit hard it is easy to be more negative. Others online will rush in with sympathy, it initially makes the sufferer feel loved and valued. But the problem then begins in earnest, when this attention becomes addictive and they need a bigger 'fix' in order to continue to feel better. As the crisis begins to ease (as crises tend to do) there is a let-down, and the MbI person then has to begin to invent stuff in order to continue to 'earn' the sympathy they crave.
When the Munchhausen's person is someone you interact with face to face, it is harder for them to make a lie work long-term. They tend to move around a lot, they do not have long medical history in any one place. They often actively avoid or refuse permission for medical records to be transferred, because then the truth would begin to show up.
But the internet - it is anonymous. It is a lot easier for a middle aged balding man to masquerade as a twenty-year-old sex kitten, posting a fake picture and thereby enjoying whatever he gets out of it. He couldn't get away with it in real life or even over the phone for very long! But online - you can get away with a lot more.
The article had some interesting case histories - generally people (usually women) who at first began describing serious health problems which escalated to cancer. One woman actually posted photos of herself with no hair, supposedly from the chemo. A lot of people offered support, prayers, contact, love, the whole shebang. At times the woman with cancer (allegedly) was too ill to post, and various friends and relatives posted about her progress. Then other crises added to the mix - two friends were killed in a car crash. Others also died. All according to this 'poor woman' with so man problems.
But it was one sharp-eyed and suspicious supporter who noticed the cracks. Or more correctly, the five o'clock shadow on her scalp in the chemo photo. Then the supporter went digging for the newspaper records and death notices of the friends killed in the car crash - nothing. So she went digging for other contact details, and finally found that the 'friends' actually did not exist. The woman had done the whole lot.
What does the MbI person get out of this? Nothing financial. It's purely the attention and sympathy they crave. And they will get it however they can. Somehow, lying to get sympathy doesn't seem to devalue it for them. It takes a lot of effort and time, to create and maintain a false story in such detail. But it happens, and a lot more often than people perhaps realise.
Sites like ours are vulnerable - self-help groups, support networks - they get targetted by people craving sympathy who will invent whatever they can to get what they want.
When I read the article, I thought back to some 'odd' threads over the years. it is not possible that CD has not had MbI people posting here. But can they sustain it? Think about what we do here - we tend to do more than merely give sympathy. We advise people too. "Hey, try this, call that person, write this repot. You can do it!"
So a person wanting just sympathy is now being asked to put some more work in. They can lie and say they did it, but when we probe we can generally recognise if they're lying or not, because generally the person who suggests it knows exactly what the person should experience in the process. Questions become more probing, and this is where the MbI person's responses can break down and show their real face.
Perhaps the moral of the story is - sympathy is all well and good, but perhaps we need to help people help themselves.
Here is an interesting link - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Münchausen_by_Internet
Enjoy!
Marg