BusynMember
Well-Known Member
I'm on disability because I have so many petty cognitive problems that I can hardly find jobs I can do, but right now I'm working as a part-time aide on the same bus that my son rides. I don't go with him on his route because there are no wheelchair kids, but it's the same bus driver. The mommy in me and desperate worker who needs my job are in conflict. I need some thoughts.
The bus driver who I'll call G. isn't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. She knows my kids are asian and black and that my daughter is biracial. When I first started working with her she babbled about how she was asked if she was ok with black people because there were black kids on her route, and how she said that, of course, she was ok with black people. I thought it was weird of her to say it to ME, but I let it go. Later on she told me that her daughter is a bigot and hates anyone who isn't white. Now her daughter is a major difficult child adult who has already lost custody of her child that she had with an abusive but WHITE boyfriend who beats her. I passed on that one too because I need the job and, while C. isn't my boss, she could probably get me fired by saying I wasn't catching on. The Big Guys know that I have a disability and have trouble remembering visual stuff and hooking up wheelchairs is hard for me. Fast forward to today. On the way home, out of the blue, C. told me that she doesn't believe in "mixing the races." That did it. I told her my daughter is biracial and she stammered and said something like she really couldn't tell because "you know, some of them are light" and she seemed flustered. I told her that her comment offended me, and asked her why she'd say something like that to the mother of children of color? She said that I had to get used to hearing all kinds of viewpoints and that this was hers. Then she tried to sugarcoat it by saying that kids have enough problems without adding being mixed to the mix. I've heard this argument before, and maybe she meant it, but I couldn't help taking offense. Her tone to me screamed of bigotry and, although I can't control what she feels, I DONT want her to voice her views to ME and my husband is furious that she drives our son to school and back. C. told me that once my son was talking about being adopted. She then told me that she told HIM how he's LUCKY we adopted him and that it didn't matter that we're white and he's black (my son hadn't brought up race).
Obviously, this lady is ignorant. She's had more problems than I can write here, and her own kids are all messes. My problem is, I don't really want to work with her anymore. I want to tell her boss what happened so that she can transfer me to another route as soon as one opens up. On the other hand, with my disability, I'm not exactly a great worker and I'm afraid that if I stir the pot I'll get fired. I'd like to hang on until after Christmas.
Any feedback, suggestions, wisdom? Right now I'm fuming. What kind of person talks that way to the mother of children who aren't white? Do I tell her never to address race to my son again? I think I'm going to at least do that. WWYD?
The bus driver who I'll call G. isn't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. She knows my kids are asian and black and that my daughter is biracial. When I first started working with her she babbled about how she was asked if she was ok with black people because there were black kids on her route, and how she said that, of course, she was ok with black people. I thought it was weird of her to say it to ME, but I let it go. Later on she told me that her daughter is a bigot and hates anyone who isn't white. Now her daughter is a major difficult child adult who has already lost custody of her child that she had with an abusive but WHITE boyfriend who beats her. I passed on that one too because I need the job and, while C. isn't my boss, she could probably get me fired by saying I wasn't catching on. The Big Guys know that I have a disability and have trouble remembering visual stuff and hooking up wheelchairs is hard for me. Fast forward to today. On the way home, out of the blue, C. told me that she doesn't believe in "mixing the races." That did it. I told her my daughter is biracial and she stammered and said something like she really couldn't tell because "you know, some of them are light" and she seemed flustered. I told her that her comment offended me, and asked her why she'd say something like that to the mother of children of color? She said that I had to get used to hearing all kinds of viewpoints and that this was hers. Then she tried to sugarcoat it by saying that kids have enough problems without adding being mixed to the mix. I've heard this argument before, and maybe she meant it, but I couldn't help taking offense. Her tone to me screamed of bigotry and, although I can't control what she feels, I DONT want her to voice her views to ME and my husband is furious that she drives our son to school and back. C. told me that once my son was talking about being adopted. She then told me that she told HIM how he's LUCKY we adopted him and that it didn't matter that we're white and he's black (my son hadn't brought up race).
Obviously, this lady is ignorant. She's had more problems than I can write here, and her own kids are all messes. My problem is, I don't really want to work with her anymore. I want to tell her boss what happened so that she can transfer me to another route as soon as one opens up. On the other hand, with my disability, I'm not exactly a great worker and I'm afraid that if I stir the pot I'll get fired. I'd like to hang on until after Christmas.
Any feedback, suggestions, wisdom? Right now I'm fuming. What kind of person talks that way to the mother of children who aren't white? Do I tell her never to address race to my son again? I think I'm going to at least do that. WWYD?